feed the kids at least 100 times in between each of those things
put my daughter down for a nap (hopefully)
straighten the toys
wipe the counters
do the dishes (by hand, mind you, I don’t have a dishwasher)
wrap a present for Sunday
ice 48 cupcakes
At some point, I need to take a shower because this weekend is filled with parties and such, and I wont have time tomorrow morning. All while my husband works 16 hours a day for the next 4 days.
You may see this list and say, well that’s impossible. You’re right, it is impossible.
But isn’t your list just as long?
Aren’t the expectations on you just as high? As we look at our own lists, we say to ourselves, we should be able to do this. These are just general things that need to get done everyday. This is what it takes to simply run a home. Why can’t we do this?? But, when we look at someone else’s list, we realize how impossible it is. We realize the pressure is mounting on us like the way the Earth creates a diamond. But, I don’t want to be a diamond. I don’t want to be hard or shiny or perfect. I don’t want my life to be desirable to others.
I want my life to be desirable to me, my husband and my family.
I don’t want my only interaction with my children to be yelling at them to stop fighting because I need to concentrate. I’m tired of scheduling play into my day so that they aren’t left to their own devices, or to drown in front of the TV all day, instead of it just coming naturally. I have had enough of the constant pressure to keep up with the mom next to me, to be the best, to have a house, a new car, money in the bank, my kids in best designer clothes, all while I play June Cleaver in my perfectly in order home. Enough.
I will embrace being human. My mistakes, my shortcomings, the absence of perfection.
I will embrace all of it.
Because that is reality. And I’m tired of living in a fantasy world that doesn’t exist. I’m sure that I will continue to make these lists, these never-ending, countless lists. But, when I only finish half, I will be okay with that. No, I will be happy with that.
When my kids come to me and ask to play, I won’t say, in one minute. When I see them playing together, I will stop what I’m doing and join in. I won’t rush from one thing to the next.
I’ll appreciate the world and all of its beauty, all it has to offer me, if I just slow down. I will smile more because I have so much to smile about.
It’s time to take a deep breath. Bow out of the race and enjoy the simple beauty of my life. I’m so busy striving to be the mom that does it all, that I sometimes forget, I already have it all.
And that is how, in motherhood, you do it all. You simply remember, that you already have it all.
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Born and raised in NY, I studied speech and language pathology at NYU. I am a stay at home mom to two beautiful children, Richard and Charlotte and wife to my wonderful husband, Rich. I have always had a deep love for learning, which has grown further since becoming a mother, I am always looking for new ways to enrich our lives. Becoming a mother changed my life, I learned compassion, caring and most importantly, true love. I hope to share the experiences of my breastfeeding, cloth diapering, babywearing, crocheting, full of love, life.