I wish we all knew.
I have a wish deep down inside. With complete unison of thoughts and feelings, I wish that every mother truly believed she is enough. Enough; meaning plentiful, abundant, ample, competent, sufficient, the right amount. Have you ever heard a mother say, “Yeah, but I want to be more than enough”? Well, it’s impossible. She simply does not exist. Unfortunately, many will make themselves miserable trying to attain such perfection.
This is a serious sickness that is plaguing mothers in Western Society.
Striving is certainly nothing new. And it often comes from a place of good intention. But parents are almost constantly bombarded from Pinterest, Instagram, Facebook, and Twitter. They are influienced with images on ‘How to Have “a Perfect Life.” Because of that, many mothers are burdened with surmounting pressure. Either they become paralyzed by feelings of inadequacy, or they get catapulted into an unhealthy frenzy of chasing an illusion of perfection. It truly is a chasing after the wind, and this is eroding away at the well being of genuinely good and excellent mothers. Mothers who are simply amazing, and who are enough for their children.
Other Posts You May Like:
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3 Ways to Become a Mentally Strong Mom, By Paige Christian
Donald Winicott, a British pediatrician and psychoanalyst of the 1950’s observed an interesting phenomenon with thousands of mothers, their babies and children.
He came to the conclusion that babies and children actually benefit from imperfect parenting. Imagine that!
Children do really well when their mothers fail them in ordinary ways. The point is that as children grow, they need to learn from their mother or primary caretakers. The lesson: that they live in an imperfect world. And so they learn that that world doesn’t revolve around them. Winnicot coined a phrase called “The good enough mother” in honor of this process. It’s an important process. One which every child must go through in order to be resilient enough to withstand the dissatisfaction, disappointments, setbacks, and trials that will inevitably come their way throughout their lifetime.
So, the next time you’re struggling with that mommy guilt, or wondering if you are enough for your children, just remember that your short comings, your weaknesses, and imperfections do serve a purpose. Repeat aloud this mantra to yourself “I am a good mother.” Kids will be good enough adults if we give our good enough selves to them now. It’s not perfection, but it’s real and that is enough.
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Latest posts by Paige Christian (see all)
- What You Should Know About the Perfection Plague Ruining our Motherhood - April 28, 2017
- Are You Tired of all the Mothering Advice? - April 13, 2017
- Mama, This is Why it’s Absolutely OK to Cry - March 30, 2017