A Note from the Editor: Last October 2016, Breastfeeding World supported families who experienced miscarriage, still birth, and Infant Loss.

Our goal- to “Break the Silence” and stigma surrounding their grief during

We are honored to feature mothers willing to commemorate their babies, gone too soon, by giving them a platform to share their experiences. So with that, we are so thankful to the Little Lionheart project for sharing their story of loss, determination, and coping with our Breastfeeding World Community. Please do not grieve alone.

My Journey Through Loss- The Little Lionheart Project

When my husband and I got engaged, only 3 months after we met – we knew we wanted to start a family as soon as possible. We could never have imagined how difficult, devastating and heartbreaking having children could be. We never knew there was a ‘club no one wants join’.

Our first, second and third pregnancies ended in an ectopic and two early miscarriages. Whilst devastating at the time, we knew that we had to keep trying.

We fell pregnant with fraternal twins in September 2012. When we made it past the 12 week ‘safe’ period, the milestone excited us beyond compare. Finally, it was our turn. And to have two babies – amazing! We planned, we painted, we shopped as any expecting parents would.

On the 20^th November, whilst at work, my water broke early (a condition known as Preterm Premature Rupture of Membranes or PPROM). We lost our first little boy, Junior.

I went straight into hospital and was placed on rest. I waited for a cervical suture to keep our second baby baking away. However, as wait on the operating table 9 days later, my second water broke. Our second twin Alex was born too early.

Diagnosed with an ‘Incompetent Cervix’, I underwent surgery 3 months later to put in a permanent stitch around my cervix. The goal of this is to keep it closed during pregnancy. The stitch is generally considered 95% successful, so when we fell pregnant again in August 2013, we knew our ‘miracle stitch’ was finally going to bring us a baby home.

Still, I felt something ‘wasn’t right’, but dismissed the feeling, thinking I just had some nerves. We went to our morphology scan on the 5^th of December, I was 19 weeks pregnant. There, we realized that my cervix once again open, and my waters were ‘bulging’ through.

 Our nightmare was beginning again.

Again, I went straight from scan to hospital on strict bed rest, but that very night, I PPROM’d again. The contractions came, but then stopped. Doctors said to expect that I would be delivering our baby boy, Ashley, within 48 hours. But our little man had other ideas.

Even though Ashley’s leg became caught through the stitch into my cervix, combined with having zero amniotic fluid, our little man survived for 4 more weeks. We nicknamed him our ‘little lionheart’. He became our lion heart for his sheer determination to stay with his parents. Parents who loved him beyond measure, parents desperate for him to live.

However our little boy arrived after only 23 weeks and 1 day- too early. He lived for 23 minutes.

Despair does not even cover the feelings we had. We had lost 6 babies in 5 pregnancies. Our miracle stitch had not worked – we had lost our little lionheart. How could this have happened again?

After Ashley’s birth, we used a CuddleCot to spend time with him. Unfortunately the hospital had only one of these vital machines to share between the four families who lost babies the same day. We decided that we would fundraise to purchase a second one for our hospital. It provided the only time we had to parent Ashley – to take photos, hand and foot casts and make memories.

We gave ourselves six months to raise the $4000 needed; but through the love and support of our family and friends, we raised it in 3 weeks. Donating the CuddleCot in Ashley’s name was therapeutic in a way, and gave us a way to channel our grief.

We then established “Little LionHeart”

Little Lionheart is a charity project to support the pregnancy and infant loss community. We fundraise to purchase more Cuddle Cots for hospitals, and we supply ‘memory boxes’ to four hospitals to give bereaved parents so they don’t leave hospital with ‘empty arms’.

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So far we have fundraised $15,000 to purchase three Cuddle Cots, and about to fundraise for our 4^th; and provided well over 200 memory boxes to families. We are also passionate on ‘breaking the silence’ of pregnancy and infant loss. Losing our babies should not be a taboo subject, nor is it something to hide. I will not move on from or get over the loss of our babies. Their deaths makes my family achingly incomplete. We feel their absences every day.

We hope that through projects like ours, and many other similar ones in Australia, we can continue to provide support and understanding to our very special community.

Read more about grieving, coping, and surviving the death of your baby from Dr. Deborah Davis:

https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/laugh-cry-live/201610/9-compassionate-tips-surviving-the-death-your-baby

Sources of bereaved parent support:

http://nationalshare.org/

https://pailnetwork.ca/

http://sands.org.nz/

http://www.sands.org.au/

https://www.uk-sands.org/

Experience the healing that comes from telling your story—or reading the stories of others:

http://carlymarieprojectheal.com/capture-your-grief-2016

https://grievingdads.com/tell-your-story/

Learn more about this series, a letter from the Breastfeeding World Team

Join us in Breaking The Silence

[col1]Robyn’s Story[/col1]

[col2]Becca’s Story[/col2]

[col3]Megan’s Story[/col3]

[col1]Anika’s Story[/col1]

[col2]Janice’s Story[/col2]

[col3]Randi’s Story[/col3]

[col1]Olivia’s Story[/col1]

[col2]Tasha’s Story[/col2]

[col3]Maegan’s Story[/col3]

[col1]Liz’s Story[/col1]

[col2]Mandi’s Story[/col2]

[col3]Jacinta’s Story[/col3]

Be sure to join us in our social media accounts to be up to date with the progress of our project!

And… Don’t forget to share your brelfies using our HT #BreastfeedingWorld 

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admin

A photography project founded in late 2014 by Alexia Garcia, photographer a Alegares Photography. Breastfeeding World aims to promote breastfeeding and encourage new moms to nurse their babies through the art of photography and story telling.

The post My Journey Through Loss- Little LionHeart appeared first on Breastfeeding World.

I was heartbroken, ashamed and completely and totally alone.

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[right]I was terrified that I would never complete my family with a child. When I did get pregnant with my rainbow baby, I spent the entire pregnancy scared and trying to not get too attached. Lo and behold, Isabella was born perfect. A pain in the ass but a lovable one.

Recently, my husband and I decided to try for a second one. I got pregnant and although miscarriage whispered across my thoughts, I felt safe. After all, I had already been the statistic. My previous miscarriage felt like a shield of armor.[/right]

 It surely wouldn’t happen again.

Believing that, we excitedly told my family as well as my husband’s. A few short days later, we found out that we are experiencing another miscarriage. I am going through it as I write this.

Miscarriage can make a woman feel powerless, betrayed by her own body and empty.

I also feel like a disappointment to everyone we told. My in-laws will not get that 8th grandchild, my sister will not get that second niece or nephew. This time around I have an amazing support group. However, what it comes down to, I need to reconcile this within myself. I’m writing this at the request of a close friend who wanted to give me that chance to vent, while allowing other women to possibly find something to identify with. Honestly, this isn’t pretty and it’s pretty raw, but I want everyone to know miscarriage just happens. It’s random and indiscriminate and as long as you aren’t doing harmful things,

It’s not your fault

I’m still coming to terms with that and I’m hoping my words can help even one person. Miscarriage needs a voice and for its stigma to be removed. I can only hope this is a step in the right direction.

Robyn Bonavita

Update: A day before going in for my recommended D&C, I went into the doctor for one last sonogram. At this sonogram, a heartbeat was detected. It was slow, but it was there. My world was, once again, thrown upside down. It sounded like good news, but was it? Was my baby healthy? The doctor was unsure if there would still be a heartbeat three days later. We went back today. We found a stronger heartbeat! Now, we are at the point where things are progressing well, but the baby is measuring small. We don’t know which way this pregnancy will go, but we do know, that dealing with a possible miscarriage is so difficult. My emotions have been everywhere, the main feeling is fear. I fear everything at this point. Deep down, I know, I will get through this. I might become broken in the process, but it will eventually get better. 

Learn more about this series, a letter from the Breastfeeding World Team

[col1]Becca’s Story[/col1]

[col2]Anika’s Story[/col2]

[col3]Megan’s Story[/col3]

[col1]Anika’s Story[/col1]

[col2]Janice’s Story[/col2]

[col3]Randi’s Story[/col3]

[col1]Olivia’s Story[/col1]

[col2]Tasha’s Story[/col2]

[col3]Maegan’s Story[/col3]

Be sure to join us in our social media accounts to be up to date with the progress of our project!

And… Don’t forget to share your brelfies using our HT #BreastfeedingWorld 

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Samantha Sykula

Born and raised in NY, I studied speech and language pathology at NYU. I am a stay at home mom to two beautiful children, Richard and Charlotte and wife to my wonderful husband, Rich. I have always had a deep love for learning, which has grown further since becoming a mother, I am always looking for new ways to enrich our lives. Becoming a mother changed my life, I learned compassion, caring and most importantly, true love. I hope to share the experiences of my breastfeeding, cloth diapering, babywearing, crocheting, full of love, life.

The post A Voice For Miscarriage – Robyn’s Story appeared first on Breastfeeding World.

Wendy & Killian

One of life’s most painful losses it that of a child.

Miscarriage, still birth and infant loss cause a pain that is devastating. We feel a strong and natural love for our child. To lose your little one to death before they have had a chance at life is unfair, cruel even. We are left to wonder what might have been. A pair of empty arms can seem emptier than ever before. Faced with such a painful experience, we urge you to remember that it is normal, necessary and healthy to grieve.

Becca remembers her son on his due date.

You should not have to do it alone.

No more should you hear that “it is natural” or “for the best”, for it is neither when you feel such emptiness. Your loss is real, realer than most can ever understand. It is time that we remove this taboo. We know that you will never move on, and as you step forward through this journey, your baby travels with you. It is time that we all remember your baby as you do because THAT is what is truly natural.

For the remainder of the month, we will be sharing the raw stories of miscarriage, still birth and infant loss. We are honored to give voice to our children, gone far too soon. We stand with you and we would like to let other families know that they are not alone. For you, all of our mothers who had to say goodbye before they said hello,

we break the silence.

Be sure to join us in our social media accounts to be up to date with the progress of our project!

And… Don’t forget to share your brelfies using our HT #BreastfeedingWorld 

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Samantha Sykula

Born and raised in NY, I studied speech and language pathology at NYU. I am a stay at home mom to two beautiful children, Richard and Charlotte and wife to my wonderful husband, Rich. I have always had a deep love for learning, which has grown further since becoming a mother, I am always looking for new ways to enrich our lives. Becoming a mother changed my life, I learned compassion, caring and most importantly, true love. I hope to share the experiences of my breastfeeding, cloth diapering, babywearing, crocheting, full of love, life.

The post Breaking The Silence Series: Miscarriage, Still Birth & Infant Loss appeared first on Breastfeeding World.