I know loss

I know the stabbing, breathtaking, panicking feeling of realizing your baby is gone. I’ve had the racing thoughts. The denial. Hoping to be able to wake yourself up from a terrifying dream. I have held my lifeless child in my hands. I have studied her tiny features. Turning off my phone so no one could reach me, I remember I couldn’t stand one more text message from someone saying they were sorry. I didn’t want to hear anyone’s sympathy.

All I wanted was my baby back

I felt as if something was stolen from me. Ripped out of my arms without my consent and I was left with my empty hands, reaching out needing to grasp something, anything that made sense.

Two pink lines

Lets talk about those two pink lines. Sometimes you pray for them, sometimes they surprise you, and sometimes they are terrifying. I have experienced all three! But nonetheless, when you see them, you become a mom. You see a new life, with a new spirit. Immediately, you imagine every possibility with this new beating heart. It is yours. You created sacred life within you.

Cells are multiplying, blood is flowing, and a tiny heart forms and beats life into an actual human! Your heart beats so fast you can hear it in your ears. Your hand subconciously touches your tummy and a slight smile brushes your mouth because you are going to be a mother. All as you find yourself looking harder to make sure those two pink lines are really there.

Can this be real?

Miracle, seems like an insufficient word for such an astounding series of events. Those two pink lines will change your life forever with just a glance. Is it a boy or a girl? You see yourself holding your newborn, first steps, first day of school, big hugs and tears consoled. It’s all right there, in those pink lines. It is important to understand these emotions as the mother, and as someone supporting a mother, because they are real and they are powerful. And they have got to be remembered if it ends.

When it Ends

Whether its early miscarriage, late term still birth, newborn death, or any kind of infant loss, the pain is just as real. No matter the time of the loss, remember, this mother has already seen the pink lines, experienced everything I have described. Do not discredit the emotions this mother has felt about the life inside her.

Each mother will grieve differently. As there is no right way to grieve. She will take as long as she needs to. And, that is okay. Let her hurt, let her cry, let her talk. But do not push.

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Each mother will grieve differently. As there is no right way to grieve. She will take as long as she needs to. And, that is okay. Let her hurt, let her cry, let her talk. But do not push.
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What to say

It can be difficult to know what to say to a grieving mother. So much so, that lots of people avoid saying anything at all. But it doesnt have to be that way.

Let’s first address what not to say, shall we? Some things are more hurtful than helpful. Please don’t say “Maybe it’s for the best”, “At least you know you can get pregnant”, “At least you have other children.”, “You can try again.”, “At least it happened early.” How about as a general rule, don’t start a sentence with “At least”. Don’t say “Let me know if there’s anything I can do.” Because she won’t.

Instead, let’s say, “What can I do today to help?” “I’m so sorry you are going through this.”, “I am right here whenever you need to talk about it”, “It’s okay to cry.” “I am praying for you.”, “You are important to me.”, “Your baby mattered.”

The Stigma

The world sometimes likes to discredit miscarriage because they think it’s not a real loss, or the mom can get over it easier because it wasn’t “a real baby”. This is simply not true.

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Remember the Two Pink Lines paragraph?

Women don’t need to suffer in silence. They don’t need to feel ashamed or silly about the pain that they feel. They need to feel it and they need to talk about it. There are so many support groups bringing awareness to this. Making sure that the world knows that this is a real loss of a real life, with real pain. You do not need to suffer in silence. To those that still carry the sigma, to them we can say “I hope you never have to go through this.”

The all important healing

After my loss, it took me while to want to talk about it. I felt a lot of anger and confusion. There were so many questions. I needed to feel the hurt and grieve in my own way. 

It was only after many conversations with God, that I was able to feel the heavy burden lifted from me. Suddenly, I no longer felt like I had to carry this hurt by myself. I found myself needing to talk about it. Needing to talk about her. She existed and deserved my praise. I had a great support system who listened and let me cry. Because of this, I felt her presence strongly around me, and that was very peaceful.

I wanted to do something in remberance of her. So we, as a family bought an orange tree and planted it in our back yard for her. It was a reminder that our family is forever. A reminder that we will see her again. It was a few months later that we saw a butterfly hovering endlessly around the tree. I then realised that, that day would have been her due date. And that sweet butterfly was a reminder that she is with us.

Ever since then, when we see butterflies, we say “Baby sister is here!”

I also felt very strongly that I wanted to write a children’s book to help explain to children what happens when mommy’s baby goes to heaven. My children’s book was written and published in the same year as my loss. It changed my life. I was able to start an Instagram account to share the book and also share women’s stories of loss and hope. (@too.perfect.for.this.earth) The women I have met through this have been inspiring and have helped break the silence. It has been an amazing experience.

Book information here

How to support those suffering through child loss

Say the right things. And love that momma unconditionally. If she is open to it, help her think of ways to honor and remember her baby. There are websites that will make jewelry out of your babies ashes or breastmilk. Websites that make amazing plaques or framed art with your childs name. Perhaps plant a tree and bury something of your babies with it.

Having something positive to hold, or see is very validating and healing. Pray. Pray for peace to be brought to her heart and her family. Serve. Take a meal, watch her other children, clean a bathroom, anything to help take the normal life pressures off of her while she heals and grieves. Send a card or a book to let her know she is in your thoughts

In conclusion, infant loss is a real pain that deserves the respect of understanding it. Reach out and tell your story, you never know who’s day you will brighten, or whose heart you will assist in healing. I’ll end with my favorite quote about this subject that inspired the title of my book.

“The Lord takes many away, even in infancy, that they may escape the envy of man, and the sorrows and evils of this present world; they were too pure, too lovely, to live on earth; therefore, if rightly considered, instead of mourning we have reason to rejoice as they are delivered from evil, and we shall soon have them again.”

-Joseph Smith

Be sure to join us in our social media accounts and be up to date with the progress of our project!

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Andrea Tao

My name is Andrea Tao. I live on the surface of the sun in southern Arizona. I have been married for 13 years and have 6 (yes 6) kids. I am a massage therapist by trade and a total hippy. Hobbies include watercolor painting, fitness, gardening and mommin hard. Pregnancy and infant loss awareness advocate. Wrote a children’s book about miscarriage a few years ago after a loss and it changed my life. Love seeing the humorous side of parenting and try to be as sarcastic as I can. Laughing my way through momhood!

The post I Know Loss – Supporting Those Suffering From Child Loss appeared first on Breastfeeding World.

How, in motherhood, do we do it all?

Well, we don’t.

I am “writing” this using Siri while I cut strawberries for my 2-year-old, as I think about all of the things that I need to do today.

On that list:

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• bake 48 cupcakes
• create a newsletter for my job
• do expenses for my job
• clean the bathroom
• make the beds
• edit for Breastfeeding World
• search for donations for our Big Latch On this year
• feed the kids at least 100 times in between each of those things

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• put my daughter down for a nap (hopefully)
• cook dinner
• straighten the toys
• give baths
• wipe the counters
• do the dishes (by hand, mind you, I don’t have a dishwasher)
• wrap a present for Sunday
• ice 48 cupcakes

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At some point, I need to take a shower because this weekend is filled with parties and such, and I wont have time tomorrow morning. All while my husband works 16 hours a day for the next 4 days.

You may see this list and say, well that’s impossible. You’re right, it is impossible.

But isn’t your list just as long?

Aren’t the expectations on you just as high? As we look at our own lists, we say to ourselves, we should be able to do this. These are just general things that need to get done everyday. This is what it takes to simply run a home. Why can’t we do this?? But, when we look at someone else’s list, we realize how impossible it is. We realize the pressure is mounting on us like the way the Earth creates a diamond. But, I don’t want to be a diamond. I don’t want to be hard or shiny or perfect. I don’t want my life to be desirable to others.

I want my life to be desirable to me, my husband and my family.

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I don’t want my only interaction with my children to be yelling at them to stop fighting because I need to concentrate. I’m tired of scheduling play into my day so that they aren’t left to their own devices, or to drown in front of the TV all day, instead of it just coming naturally. I have had enough of the constant pressure to keep up with the mom next to me, to be the best, to have a house, a new car, money in the bank, my kids in best designer clothes, all while I play June Cleaver in my perfectly in order home. Enough.

I will embrace being human. My mistakes, my shortcomings, the absence of perfection.

I will embrace all of it.

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Because that is reality. And I’m tired of living in a fantasy world that doesn’t exist. I’m sure that I will continue to make these lists, these never-ending, countless lists. But, when I only finish half, I will be okay with that. No, I will be happy with that.

When my kids come to me and ask to play, I won’t say, in one minute. When I see them playing together, I will stop what I’m doing and join in. I won’t rush from one thing to the next.

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I’ll stop.

I’ll appreciate the world and all of its beauty, all it has to offer me, if I just slow down. I will smile more because I have so much to smile about.

It’s time to take a deep breath. Bow out of the race and enjoy the simple beauty of my life. I’m so busy striving to be the mom that does it all, that I sometimes forget, I already have it all.

And that is how, in motherhood, you do it all. You simply remember, that you already have it all.

Be sure to join us in our social media accounts and be up to date with the progress of our project!

And… Don’t forget to share your brelfies using our hashtag

#BreastfeedingWorld

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Samantha Sykula

Born and raised in NY, I studied speech and language pathology at NYU. I am a stay at home mom to two beautiful children, Richard and Charlotte and wife to my wonderful husband, Rich. I have always had a deep love for learning, which has grown further since becoming a mother, I am always looking for new ways to enrich our lives. Becoming a mother changed my life, I learned compassion, caring and most importantly, true love. I hope to share the experiences of my breastfeeding, cloth diapering, babywearing, crocheting, full of love, life.

The post Motherhood: How To Do It All appeared first on Breastfeeding World.

Latch On Participant

Are you a Breastfeeding or Pumping Parent with a nursling? Let us know to expect you, get a free raffle ticket and swag bag by Pre-Registering Here! Then all you have to do is join us the day of and check in!

Sponsor

Would you like to support our local Breastfeeding community while marketing your brand to our participants? Email me at ssykula@breastfeedingworld.org for more details, and Register Here

Volunteer

Everyone at Breastfeeding World volunteers our time and love because of our passion for the breastfeeding community. Are you interested in helping to make this event possible? Please email Samantha Sykula at ssykula@breastfeedingworld.org

Samantha Sykula

Born and raised in NY, I studied speech and language pathology at NYU. I am a stay at home mom to two beautiful children, Richard and Charlotte and wife to my wonderful husband, Rich. I have always had a deep love for learning, which has grown further since becoming a mother, I am always looking for new ways to enrich our lives. Becoming a mother changed my life, I learned compassion, caring and most importantly, true love. I hope to share the experiences of my breastfeeding, cloth diapering, babywearing, crocheting, full of love, life.

The post Join The Third Annual Times Square, NYC Big Latch On! appeared first on Breastfeeding World.

A few weeks ago my colleague Lauren wrote a beautifully passionate piece called This is why I am fed up with “Fed is Best.” She reminded us of the nutritional superiority of breastmilk, and of the struggle that breastfeeding mothers face in trying to feel normal as we do the most normal thing – breastfeed our kids.  She also expressed her solidarity, noting that we are all mothers making the best decisions for our families, and that there’s no need to get defensive. But the problem is not that women are overly sensitive. Being sensitive is what makes new motherhood a powerful and transformative time. In short, it’s a good thing. The problem is that there are even two sides at all. We are blinded by competition. We are like teenagers looking for pokemon and missing the Justin Bieber concert.

Both of these campaigns have overlooked the most important piece when it comes to raising the next generation. And women and babies are suffering because of it.

The most important piece is mom.

New baby. New mom. Both are learning. Both are sensitive.

She’s new, too.

New mothers are learning.

They are learning to listen to their instincts. And they matter more than breastmilk or formula. Food doesn’t raise babies. Moms do.

In an airplane the flight attendants tell you that if there is an emergency, put your own oxygen mask on first, then your child’s.

Who are the flight attendants for new moms? Occasionally you meet one or two people who ask how mom is doing before examining the baby, but they are few and far between. Most people go right to the baby.

How can she learn to trust her instincts, if time after time, she is ignored?

Moms need encouragement, not advice. Telling someone how to feed her child sends the message that she does not know. If enough people tell mom that she is not equipped to make her own decisions (even indirectly), guess what happens. She might start to believe it herself. That she needs to rely solely on a book, advice, or WHO guidelines in order to raise her baby.

It’s sad. It’s dangerous. It’s preventable. But not with campaigns like these.

When my baby girl was a year old, several people, including our pediatrician, told me that I should stop breastfeeding. I felt gravely misunderstood and profoundly alone. I immediately realized what it must feel like if the tables were turned. How would I feel if I knew that formula would be the only way that my baby or I could survive, but someone told me, “you know, breast is best?” I would feel the same way I felt then: undermined, belittled, and misunderstood. Telling new mothers what to do, no matter how sweet your voice is and no matter how many scientific studies you cite, if you do not listen to her, you send the message that she is not worth listening to. And then the doubts start to immerge like those creepy black shadows in the movie Ghost.

Every woman has her own story, and we can’t pretend to know someone else’s story unless we ask.

If another mom makes a decision that is vastly different than your ideal, remember that the human species is crazy smart when it comes to survival. She is surviving the way she knows best. Following your ideal will likely end in failure if she’s not totally on board.

If you are a new mom, I encourage you to listen to your instincts.

If someone in your life is a new mom, I encourage you to listen to her, to her story, to her ideas about what’s best for her and her baby. By encouraging her to explore her new role without judgement, you empower her to make the best decisions for her baby’s healths, her health, and her entire family’s wellbeing.

The most important piece is mom. Moms are raising the next generation, not breastmilk or formula.

The breast is best and fed is best campaigns draw followers, and unfortunately they are directing our focus to the second priority and bypassing the first.

Moms need their oxygen, they need a cup of tea, a leaned ear, clean clothes. Then maybe, just maybe, there will be enough quiet in the room for their inner voices to immerge.

Love this post? Don’t forget to pin it!

Be sure to join us in our social media accounts and be up to date with the progress of our project!

And… Don’t forget to share your brelfies using our hashtag

#BreastfeedingWorld

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Anne Kathryn Rice

Anne Kathryn Rice is an American mother of two strong willed children living on the Italian Riviera. She writes about motherhood and listening to your inner voice, even when cultural expectations, baby books, and impromptu advice seem to challenge your instincts. You can read more about her personal experiences on her blog.

www.lovegrowdiscover.com

The post Breast Is Best And Fed Is Best – The Danger In Choosing Sides appeared first on Breastfeeding World.

If you’ve ever ran an actual marathon or even just a short race, you know that physical strength and endurance is only half the battle. It takes a great amount of mental muscle, determination, perseverance, and willpower to finish a race. Being a mom not only requires all of the above, but also a total shift and transformation of her entire identity, and she will need all of the mental strength she can gather in order to wherewithal the changes and blossom through the motherhood journey.

Living in the Western World, our culture, talks a lot about mothers and their postpartum bodies.

You read about “How to Get Your Body Back” and “How to Love Those Tiger Stripes.” You see Celebrities flaunting their bikinis just weeks after birth, and you keep reminding yourself about the airbrushing. You hear about your mommy friend’s new meal plan and workout program. The messages are everywhere we turn. Now, there is certainly nothing wrong with promoting physical health and strength to mothers, but I think we can agree that there is certainly a lack of balance when it comes to promoting wholeness.

There’s no shortage of information and resources available to mothers who want to improve their physical health and physique, but what about maternal mental health? I’m not just talking about awareness related to perinatal mood disorders, like postpartum depression and anxiety, etc. I’m also talking about the mental fortitude and strength that it takes to have a healthy, happy, and sound mind while mothering. Even mothers who do not struggle with any form of mental illness lack necessary skills for being mindful.

The reality is that we need more resources- and more talk- about mental wellness.

So, in an effort to build up the mothering mind, I’m going to share 3 helpful tips that all mothers can apply to their daily lives that will improve their mental health. (Keep in mind that there are many more than just these 3, but 3 are a good starting place.)

1. Check Your Thoughts.

There’s nothing more frustrating for a mother than when she is playing with her children, enjoying her time with them, and suddenly be interrupted by a negative thought that affects her mood and state of mind. You don’t want to waste energy on thoughts that are counterproductive to what you are doing or wanting to accomplish. Most people believe every thought that they ever have is true, but this is simply not the case. If you can pause and quickly evaluate your thoughts more often, especially the ones that bring up strong emotions, you can begin to weed out the ones that are simply not true and move on.

Here’s the deal, we are our own worst critics, and we can easily ruminate or mull over negative thoughts concerning ourselves, which can then lead us to think critically of others including our spouses, our children, and our friends, which will only drain mental strength and tear down our closest relationships. For those thoughts, the ones tied to strong emotions and that do ring true, give yourself permission to stop thinking about it in the present. Decide on a more appropriate time when you can spend more mental energy figuring it out. Thinking about your thoughts,may sound odd. But building an awareness of how you think will help you change your unproductive or unhelpful thought patterns, which will lead to changes in how you feel and behave.

2. Practice Gratitude.

At times, we as mothers can get caught up in comparing ourselves to other mothers. Have you ever heard of ‘mommy wars’? Well, the real battle is within ourselves. We might look around and feel like we don’t measure up to certain standards. Thoughts and feelings such as jealousy, or frustration, or inferiority can surface and drain our mental energies. Such toxic emotions can also ruin relationships and isolate us. So, in order to help keep your thoughts in check, replace negative and untrue thoughts with grateful ones. In this way, you will help build up resiliency.

An attitude and mindset fixed on gratitude is a great way to keep your life in perspective.

Many people feel surprised by how much better they feel when they spend more time thinking about the things they are thankful for, instead of focusing on what they do not have. In fact, there are many benefits outside of psychological ones that are worth practicing gratitude for. It doesn’t take too much effort to come up with at least one thankful thought, once you get the ball rolling. Before long, you will discover that you have filled your heart with appreciation and your mind filled with happier thoughts. The tune you carry within will be felt by your children. Naturally, they are acutely attuned to your attitude. Just remember, happy song, happy mom.

3. Be Compassionate Toward Yourself.

Do you ever feel like you just keep missing the mark? Maybe your expectations of what motherhood should be are constantly being shot down? As mentioned earlier, we can be our own worst enemy. And if we are hard on ourselves,then we are likely to treat our family and friends in a similar way.

A mother’s standard is usually set pretty high. And though there is nothing wrong with this, an expectation that is unrealistic can cause frustration and some mental fog. Mom might feel like she has to do everything herself and she may have a difficult time asking for help. The secret? Self-Compassion! Set realistic goals, and love who you are by being gracious and kind to yourself. Accept the fact that motherhood is messy and beautiful. Forgive yourself for your mistakes. Remind yourself that you are doing your very best, and that is all you need. Loving yourself will help keep you mentally strong for whatever trials come your way.

So, as you can see, the work that we do with our minds is similar to how we train our physical bodies. It takes time, consistency, and work to build those mental muscles. We must be intentional about rewiring our thought processes; they don’t just happen on their own. Though it may not be easy, the evidence give us hope and encouragement to change our old way of thinking for something new and refreshing. Being a mentally strong mom simply allows us to enjoy our motherhood journeys more. You are worth it.

Be sure to join us in our social media accounts to be up to date with the progress of our project!

And… Don’t forget to share your brelfies using our hashtag

#BreastfeedingWorld

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Paige Christian

I’m a proud midwesterner who loves the simple and beautiful things in life. I’m currently a SAHM and loving this season in life where I am privileged to be with my two precious toddlers all day and night. My career focus is in social work. I received my MSW from Asbury University in 2012 and am a licensed social worker. My passions are counseling, writing, researching, teaching, inspiring, and encouraging others, especially mothers. My mama style consists of breastfeeding, cloth diapering, baby led weaning, baby wearing, and some positive parenting approaches. I’m also a mama blogger at My Joyful Nest where I like to encourage mothers on their own journeys.

www.myjoyfulnest.com

The post 3 Ways to Become a Mentally Strong Mom appeared first on Breastfeeding World.

Understanding the layers of loss and challenges of mourning can help you embrace the depth of your grief.

When a baby dies, parents can experience a grief so profound, they wonder how they can survive it. If you’ve experienced the death of a baby, it’s normal to worry about your sanity. It can help you to acknowledge the many layers of loss and special challenges that can affect the course of your mourning. Layers which can make a baby’s death so very difficult to endure. Understanding why this is so hard can affirm your baby’s importance and validate the depth of your grief.

You may experience some or all of the following losses and challenges.

Death is taboo in our society

Rather than being seen as an inevitable and natural part of the cycle of life, death has become something we consider scary and distasteful—even disgusting—and best avoided. As a result, most people feel uncomfortable with death and dying. They don’t want to think about it, much less talk about it. When a baby dies, it is especially unthinkable and unspeakable. Unfortunately, this leaves bereaved parents alone and adrift, which only adds to their suffering.

A baby’s death violates expectations

Modern medicine and standards of living have greatly improved the prospects of having a healthy pregnancy and giving birth to healthy baby. As such, expectant parents are not likely to seriously consider the possibility that their baby may die, particularly after the first trimester of pregnancy. This assumption accompanies the belief that by “doing all the right things,” guarantees a healthy baby.So when a baby dies, the parents’ expectations are cruelly violated.

A baby’s death is a traumatic bereavement

Trauma happens when you experience an emotionally painful event over which you have no control, and it leaves a lasting imprint on your brain—and your life. A large part of what makes a traumatic experience is that everything is okay. But then suddenly, and unexpectedly, it’s not. So when your baby dies, the road of recovery is long, winding, and hard.

The weight of responsibility

Particularly as the mother, you may wonder about what you did or did not do that might have contributed to your baby’s plight. As the father or the mother’s partner, you may wonder what you could’ve done better to protect your baby or ward off this tragedy. All of these normal feelings originate from the natural and biological urge to protect your children. Particularly if you hold tight to the common belief that you have control over what happens to you, these feelings of responsibility can contribute to painful feelings of guilt.

Feelings of helplessness

It is normal for the mother to feel betrayed by her body’s inability to create or sustain a healthy baby or an uncomplicated birth. Your baby’s death can also undermine a sense of being masterful and able to fix anything or solve any problem. Many fathers, in particular, feel this keenly. Feelings of helplessness also go against the grain of an accomplishment-based life, and may contribute to a sense of failure or loss of control.

A loss of innocence and faith

When your baby dies, it makes you realize that bad things can happen to good people. You don’t have total control over your destiny, and you cannot shield your children from death. For many parents, a baby’s death triggers a crisis of religious faith or they may struggle with the senselessness of it all. You may also feel anxious or angry as you face your new knowledge that you are vulnerable to tragedy.

A loss of identity as a parent

When you found out you were pregnant, your identity as a parent to this baby began to form. When this baby dies, you have to figure out what it means to be a parent to a child who is no longer with you. Particularly if you don’t have any other surviving children, you may question whether you’re still a mother, or still a father.

Feeling uncertain and unsure of yourself

Before your baby died, you may have seen yourself as emotionally sound, responsible, in charge, and invincible. Now you must develop a new identity. Allow yourself to feel distressed, confused, unmotivated, and vulnerable. You may also have to redefine what it means to be a woman or a man—or an adult. Your role as a friend and family member may change too, as you may find it impossible to deal with the seemingly endless stream of new babies in your social circles. And if you quit your job, because you anticipated staying home with your baby, you may feel uncertain of your financial role, your career, or what to do about it. Finally, you may wonder about “trying again”. You may feel uncertain about whether or when to have another baby.

Feelings of isolation

You may feel abandoned by friends and family members who don’t understand your grief or your need for support. People may avoid the topic as they don’t want to upset you by asking about your baby or how you’re really doing. Some may feel so uncomfortable or unsure about how to behave that they simply avoid you. Even your midwife, doctor, or nurses may feel awkward and uncertain about how to broach the topic of your baby’s death or how to support you in your grief. As a result, you may feel like you’re the only one who remembers or cares about your little baby.

Not enough time spent with your baby

When the length of time spent with the infant is brief, coping with a baby’s death becomes particularly difficult. When you never or barely get to know your baby after birth, you may feel cheated. Cheated of the chance to learn about this child’s special qualities, or fully express your love and devotion. If you were blocked from spending sufficient time with your baby before death or before relinquishing the body, these are other losses to bear.

A lack of memories and mementos

Your baby’s brief life also means you had few opportunities to gather memories and mementos, which are important to the bereaved. When you have few memories or mementos, you may find it challenging to validate your baby’s existence, acknowledge your baby’s importance, honor your bond, and experience a more gradual goodbye. And when the “hello-goodbye” is so abrupt, this can add to your trauma and complicate your grief.

A lack of mourning rituals

Many parents are not sufficiently encouraged to engage in rituals of mourning. Spending time with the body, arranging a funeral, attending the burial, making formal public announcements of the death, and recognizing a mourning period—all of these rituals are designed to support the bereaved. Traditional rituals- taking the body home for many days, having a home funeral, and green burial are becoming more prevalent, but these rituals take time and run deep. This is at odds with fast-paced, skate-on-the-surface, modern societies. As such, these rituals are often denied, overlooked, or minimized- especially when a baby dies.

A loss of a part of your future

Not only do you grieve for your baby, you also grieve for your lost visions of parenthood. The moments you had looked forward to—parental leave, family gatherings, and holidays—can seem worthless or trivial without your baby. If you preferred to have all your children by, say, age thirty-five, or spaced a certain number of years apart, the death of your baby might mean that your family isn’t what you imagined. If you anticipated the birth of twins, triplets, or more, you will grieve for the lost chance to raise multiple babies together. And your baby’s death represents a missing branch of the family tree as you consider the prospective generations that might have been. All of these deficits in your future make it particularly painful to get on with your life. In fact, your baby’s death puts you on a different path.

 You can grieve and survive the death of your baby

As you identify and affirm your layers of loss, challenges, and trauma, please know- your baby’s death is a huge deal. You may feel deeply affected. Also, while your layers are unique to you, you share much common ground with other bereaved parents. You are not alone. And in spite of all these barriers and difficulties, you can grieve and survive the death of your baby. Just as other parents grieved before you. Indeed, you may find it immensely comforting to read about the experiences of other bereaved parents—or seek out their company, which can serve as a lifeline to you.

Read more about grieving, coping, and surviving the death of your baby:

https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/laugh-cry-live/201610/9-compassionate-tips-surviving-the-death-your-baby

Sources of bereaved parent support:

http://nationalshare.org/

https://pailnetwork.ca/

http://sands.org.nz/

http://www.sands.org.au/

https://www.uk-sands.org/

Experience the healing that comes from telling your story—or reading the stories of others:

http://carlymarieprojectheal.com/capture-your-grief-2016

https://grievingdads.com/tell-your-story/

Deborah L. Davis, PhD is a developmental psychologist and writer who has authored several books that support parents who’ve experienced the death of a baby. She is most well known for Empty Cradle, Broken Heart: Surviving the Death of Your Baby (the much-awaited Third Edition comes out November 1) and A Gift of Time (with Amy Kuebelbeck), which supports parents who seek perinatal hospice after receiving a life-limiting prenatal diagnosis for their baby. Since 2011, she’s been blogging for Psychology Today, where she writes about resilience, including coping with perinatal bereavement. http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/laugh-cry-live

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A photography project founded in late 2014 by Alexia Garcia, photographer a Alegares Photography. Breastfeeding World aims to promote breastfeeding and encourage new moms to nurse their babies through the art of photography and story telling.

The post When a Baby Dies: Why is this so hard? by Deborah Davis, PHD appeared first on Breastfeeding World.

But, let’s be real…many breastfeeding journeys do not start out even close to any of those things.

The first three months of my troubled breastfeeding journey were extremely hard. From a bad latch and jaundice to a full body allergic reaction, to thrush and mastitis, to sore, cracked nipples and posterior tongue tie! We saw it all.

And we made it.

Is your wife, friend, daughter/daughter-in-law, sister, etc., struggling with breastfeeding? She will definitely need your support – but here are 10 things NOT to say to her.

1. “Breastfeeding shouldn’t hurt.”

Dealing with the pain of breastfeeding is both emotionally and physically difficult. We know that it should not hurt. We sometimes feel like our bodies are letting us down or that we are letting our babies down. We understand when it hurts, something is not right. We do not need to be reminded constantly that our bodies are wrong, because they are not. Breastfeeding CAN hurt. It hurts many women for many different reasons. So, what you can say instead of “breastfeeding shouldn’t hurt” is, “I am sorry you are having such pain breastfeeding – there has got to be a reason, let’s contact a lactation consultant and get to the bottom of this so you can start feeling better!”

2. “I think maybe your nipples are too big.”

Or too small. Just stay away from commenting on mom’s nipple size, please. We are already emotionally a wreck as we are trying to perfect this special bond and we do not need to feel as if our bodies are physically wrong. No nipple of any size will stop a baby from breastfeeding! If the mother thinks her nipples are the wrong size, she can check with her pediatrician or OB about this being the problem. We are not as comfortable as we look with being constantly topless around our daily visitors in the beginning, so don’t make this any worse than it is for us! If you see a troubled mom and think the nipple is the problem what you can say instead of commenting on the size or shape of mom’s nipple is, “I believe they sell something called a nipple shield that helps the baby latch well – would you like me to run out and get you one?”

3. “What have you eaten lately? Maybe the baby doesn’t like the taste?”

Most of us breastfeeding moms are educated and informed on what to eat and not to eat while breastfeeding. Telling us our babies may not like the taste of the milk we have produced is asinine! If you are worried we are eating improperly, buy us a book on healthy eating while nursing, but please do not shame the taste of our milk. That is most likely NOT the problem baby is having and our bodies have worked very hard to produce this milk! So instead, as said, buy us a nice healthy eating or recipe book for nursing moms, or better yet – cook us a healthy meal, quietly!

4. “I think your babies mouth is too small.”

Ugh, again with the size and shapes but this time of our babies! No, just do not! Do not tell us that our perfect little angel may have the wrong size mouth to breastfeed. If you are not educated on this matter – refrain from commenting on this altogether, but what you could say instead is, “Some babies have tongue tie or posterior tongue tie, which doesn’t allow their tongue to move as freely as it should while feeding. Have you asked your pediatrician to check for this or contacted a lactation consultant?”

5. “If you think it hurts now, wait ’til they get some teeth!”

NEVER! We as troubled nursers are already terrified that it will never get better, like they all say it does. Most of us may even be crying everyday and constantly on the verge of giving up. So please, do not discourage us further. If you have breastfed before and you know it gets better (because it really does!) you can tell us that for encouragement.

6. “Maybe you are not producing enough milk..”

Again, most of us are educated and informed on milk production. Our pediatricians, OB’s and lactation consultants can discuss this with us. This was one problem that I, fortunately, never had, but I did meet many moms while attending support groups who dealt with this. It is another issue that makes us feel our bodies are failing our babies, that we do not need you commenting on. If you are educated enough on the topic, what you can say is, “There are many recipes that are supposed to boost milk supply, let me bake you some lactation cookies and we will see if this helps! In the meantime, let’s call a lactation consultant and get some more ideas!”

7. “Your nipples just need to toughen up.”

This is just wrong. This suggests the mom should just wait it out and also sounds like we are going to have super hard and rough nipples which is not enthusing to us! There is most likely a problem that needs solving if there is nipple pain, and needing to “toughen up” is not it.

8. “Let me cover you up.”

Everything about nursing is uncomfortable right now. We need to watch our baby eat to try to find and fix the issue. We need to be comfortable especially in our own home and bond with our babies as much as we can while biting our tongue through the discomfort. If we are in our home, and you are a visitor, instead of saying this, you could say, “I will let you two be while you nurse…I will be in the other room, doing the dishes or folding your laundry, just holler if you want a blanket or a glass of water!”

9. “Why don’t you just pump instead?”

Genius! Because we NEVER would have thought of that! Of course we pump and for many reasons… build supply, more comfortable on nipples, baby needs milk NOW and isn’t latching… and many more. For me, it was a LIFESAVER. However, we still need to breastfeed in order for our babies (and ourselves) to properly learn. Also, our babies are way more effective in retrieving milk from our nipples then our pumps are. Oh and not to mention, if baby feeds every two hours, as most babies do in the beginning, you will have zero time to relax. I had to exclusively pump for days, sometimes a week in order to heal my nipples. My timeline went like this: Pump milk for a half hour (at least), transfer to bottle & feed baby (another half hour), burp baby and get baby to lay down, wash all pump parts and setup for next time to pump – Oh wait, it is time to pump again, already! Pumping, feeding, washing…it becomes a vicious cycle! So, instead of telling us to “just pump” you can kindly say, “I will wash and sanitize your breast pump parts in case you want a break later, they will be ready for you to use!” (Many new moms don’t know this, but, there are ways to rinse your pump parts and refrigerate them after use to save time)

10. Lastly, never, ever ask us, “Why don’t you just give your baby formula?”

Trust me, as someone who was on the verge of giving up on breastfeeding everyday for two and a half months, this is something we do not want to hear. We know that formula is out there and that it exists. We know many babies are formula fed and are just fine. We know many mothers who formula feed and we do not judge. But we want to breastfeed. We are determined and we are trying to stay encouraged. Personally, I had a free sample box of formula just 10 feet away in my cupboards the whole time, but never got to the point of using it. If and when we decide that we cannot handle the pain or troubles of breastfeeding any longer, we know where to find formula. Most of us who are in a constant battle of wondering how much longer we can go are already weighing the options of trying it. We know it is an option, we just are not ready to give up on our bodies. So, please do not even entertain the thought of formula to us, as we will make that choice on our own terms.

Did you have a rough start to breastfeeding? What were some of the things people said to you that got under your skin? Let us know!

If you are a beginner breastfeeding momma and battling with infections, bad latches, sore and cracked nipples, PPD, or anything bothering you, please reach out. Lactation consultants are amazing people, and a local breastfeeding support group will really open your eyes to how many women are dealing with the exact same issues as you.

And I promise, although I know it is very hard for you to believe at this time, it DOES get better.

Be sure to join us in our social media accounts to be up to date with the progress of our project!

And… Don’t forget to share your brelfies using our HT #BreastfeedingWorld

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Teresa Finocchio

I am a 27 year old first time mom who lives in New Jersey. I had an all natural planned homebirth with the help of water and the self-hypnosis hypnobabies method. I am currently a stay at home breastfeeding mother to my beautiful baby girl and I’ll be sharing with you all some personal experiences and covering some other interesting topics, stay tuned.

The post 10 things to NEVER say to a troubled breastfeeding momma! appeared first on Breastfeeding World.

When I was pregnant, I knew I would breastfeed. I just knew it. Before I switched to a midwife, my OB would always try to send me home with formula samples, and it really bothered me. I think that sends a message to expecting mothers that their milk will not be enough and they will need to supplement. Why even plant that seed in their mind? This happens at baby stores as well.

For instance, when I registered for my baby shower at two very popular baby stores, I was bombarded by aisles full of bottles and formula, all sending a subtle message that I will fail. After registering, I was given a gift by both stores that included bottles and formula samples. If I wasn’t so set on breastfeeding, it might have really caused me to doubt myself. However, I refused to succumb to big business marketing endeavors and believed instead in my body’s ability to lactate. I simply could not conceive that every mother has supply issues or trouble with their breastfeeding journey, because historically that hasn’t always been the case. If that were so, humanity would not have thrived before formula.

My breastfeeding journey, a real journey of love!

After laboring for twenty-four hours, my precious baby was finally in my arms. What a sweet relief after the bitter pain to have her with me! There were a few complications during childbirth and the nurses decided to take Violet to the nursery to sit under warm lights for an hour or so. I took the time to let the shock wear off and rehydrated my body, while I processed the fact that I was a new mother. When my fiance finally brought our daughter back into the room, I decided it was time to initiate breastfeeding. I remember having no idea what I was doing; my inner-goddess was replaced with insecurity as I fumbled to hold her correctly and to try getting her to latch onto my nipple. A nurse came in and I admitted that I needed help, so she suggested calling the Lactation Consultant. I hesitated because it was 1 am, but I knew my baby needed to eat and I didn’t want to wait any longer.

Success!

The L.C. came in and instructed me to pancake my breast while rubbing my nipple quickly on my daughter’s nose for the scent, and then rubbing it on her upper lip while pointing it upward to encourage her to open her mouth. Imagine the relief I felt when it worked! My tiny newborn was taking big gulps and filling her little belly with the underrated, ever precious liquid gold that is colostrum.  It didn’t take much to fill her belly and she continued to pacify on me, which breathed new life into me. I had to take an ibuprofen for the pain in my uterus because the hormones that are released while breastfeeding cause your uterus to shrink back to its original size. It feels a lot like menstrual cramps, but nothing compared to labor. What an incredible give-and-take breastfeeding is; perfectly orchestrated for both mother and child.

I am forever thankful for the LC who helped initiate this beautiful relationship.

The hospital sent us home with a chart to document the amount of dirty diapers she was producing, and to ensure I was feeding her enough. It instructed to nurse for 15 minutes on each side every 2-3 hours, but I found that she would eat much more than that. I later discovered that what she was doing is called cluster-feeding and it is completely normal and healthy for newborns. Not a lot of new mothers know this, and many doubt their milk supply because of it. Let me reassure you, Momma. Your baby is not starving. Allowing your baby to pacify on you and cluster-feed will ensure a healthy milk supply and a happier baby. If you find that your baby is still fussy, try adjusting your diet to be allergen free (dairy, eggs, broccoli, etc), but do remember that it can take a few weeks to clear out of your system so you may not notice a difference right away.

For the first few months of being a mother, I struggled to do anything other than breastfeed or take care of my daughter. I faced socially awkward situations when certain relatives made comments about me flashing my boobs at family functions (which I didn’t do), or when they avoided me altogether as if I had the plague. Other family members were more supportive, but I still usually ended up in the back room alone with my baby. It was always a relief when I didn’t have any social obligations for the day.

Milk comas are the best. (A water bottle is never far from a nursing Mom.)

Over the months, my daughter would change her eating habits often, but she has always been a slow eater and refused to nap anywhere except on me (and with a nipple in her mouth). I savored the snuggles, which were good for my postpartum depression and anxiety, and I would cozy up on the couch with my water, snacks, and endless Netflix marathons. It was honestly kind of awesome! I started to pump around that time in order to make a freezer stash, and unknowingly created a massive oversupply because my daughter was nursing full-time and I was pumping 4-6 times a day! I no longer pump, and my supply has now regulated perfectly to fit my daughter’s needs. Breastfeeding is completely supply and demand. How cool is that? She had severe reflux until she was about four months-old, but other than that we have never had any major hiccups, thankfully.

My daughter is now 14 months-old and is still breastfed exclusively. It took a while for me to gain courage when it comes to breastfeeding in public, but now I do it without shame. We go with the flow during the day, and cosleeping has helped to ease my anxiety at nighttime, as well as make feedings easier. She still naps on me for the most part, but her never-ending nursing sessions are a distant memory. She has maybe one purée a day, but doesn’t show much interest in food yet. Her iron levels are perfect, and she is skinny, but very healthy. Alas, my breast milk is enough. We are still going strong and I see no reason to stop anytime soon. 

For whatever challenges I have faced over these past fourteen months of my breastfeeding journey, the rewards have been tenfold. Never quit on your darkest day, because if you do, you may never see your brightest one. Stick with it, I believe in you!

Be sure to join us in our social media accounts to be up to date with the progress of our project!

And… Don’t forget to share your brelfies using our HT #BreastfeedingWorld 

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Lissa James

Hi! I’m Lissa James, currently living and loving in Seattle, Wa. I blog mainly about my experience breastfeeding, as well as attachment parenting, and postpartum anxiety and depression. I hope to encourage and empower other women through my writing. I am a Potterhead/The X-Files junkie, and I love to read and paint. I am currently writing and illustrating a children’s book about breastfeeding! Find me on instagram @bumblebeelullabies and find my mama mermaid art @mermamame!

bumblebeelullabies.wordpress.com/

The post My Story: A Most Wonderful Breastfeeding Journey appeared first on Breastfeeding World.

“Tend and befriend” is the saying and more mothers need to keep it in mind.  Research has examined stress responses in women, specifically mothers, and noticed a marked pattern that follows this model more consistently than the typical “fight or flight”. Basically, stressed out moms are more likely to engage in caring  for their children and seeking out social groups to cope and ward off furthur distress.  

If you are a mom to a new baby or are a soon to be mom, it is a great idea to connect with like-minded mothers who can provide the necessary education and community support involved in raising babies. Consider your parenting goals and use that to find a suitable group of mothers to join. While you may already have an established community of friends and family, there is no guarantee they will be able to support your specific needs as a mother and baby unit.

Riddle Memorial Hospital’s Big Latch On event brought local families together to support breastfeeding

“My mom tells me I spoil the baby and he should start getting in good habits now.”  While mom may be doing her best, she may not realize that her advice to not care for your baby is counter productive for the well-being of both of you.  Keep mom around as she means well, yet find a tribe of moms who are supportive of your ideas as well. Spread your newfound knowledge to help reinforce your supporters. Remember, her generation was given a lot of poor advice from the trusted medical community that worked against a mother’s natural instincts. No wonder crying it out just feels wrong!

“Exactly why I need to get back to work.  I miss being around other adults and having conversations and independence.” While this may be a viable befriending strategy for some new mothers, other mothers take a different route due to even more distress about not being able to tend to the baby all day. This is ok and normal. If it is a financial possibility I would highly recommend remaining as the primary caregiver and finding a community that meshes well with your new family life. 

“I have no choice.  I need to work to support my family.” Be vigilant as returning to work in the first six months after delivery puts women at increased risk for PPD. Remain close with your baby when home to benefit from mothering hormones and do not feel ashamed to reach out for support. 

“My situation is a lot worse than I expected. My depression and anxiety are getting the best of me and my baby would be better off without me.” Reach out today. Motherhood does not have to feel like this and you deserve to be happier. Your baby loves you unconditionally and there are resources to get you through this tough time. 

Let’s stop the mommy wars and show community support.  We as women all need to feel a sense of belonging and validation.  We deserve unity, dignity, and good quality education in our journey through motherhood.  We are our best resource in growing a healthy, successful network to raise the next generation. Below are ideas and resources listed for mothers to find that community support.

Free resources:

• La Leche League holds free local, regularly scheduled meetings for breastfeeding mothers. Children play while women conversate. 
• Babywearing International also holds free, regularly scheduled meetings for families to mingle and learn. 
• Check your local library for storytimes.  This is a great, free way to branch out and feel a sense of community that caters to family life.
• Your place of birth most likely has a mother’s support group for families with close delivery dates. 
• Facebook and social media.  Get onto facebook and enter your favorite key words in.  I belong to multiple different and specific online communities such as my local town’s parent group, a lactivist group, vegan moms groups, breastfeeding, attachment parenting, babywearing, and the list goes on.  Drop a comment below if you are looking for a specific group and I can help you find it! 
• Start your own in-person or online tribe through www.meetup.com or Facebook. Be the matriarch and bring the mamas together!

Remember, if your support system is making you feel disconnected, unsupported, or negatively about anything it is in your best interest to find a new one! Just because a mother’s group exists does not automatically mean it will be the right one for you. 

Be sure to join us in our social media accounts to be up to date with the progress of our project!

And… Don’t forget to share your brelfies using our HT #BreastfeedingWorld 

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Laura Pollera

I am excited to share my experience and knowledge with you! I’m a certified elementary school teacher turned stay at home mom. My former specialty was in direct support to children with intellectual and developmental disorders as well as being a lead teacher in preschool. I have a passion for lactivism and am in the process of becoming a La Leche League Leader. My son and I follow natural term breastfeeding/baby-led weaning, plant-based living, bedsharing, and babywearing while my fiancè and I consider ourselves to be attachment and peaceful parents. Find her on Instagram: @peace_love_fam

peacelovefam.wordpress.com

The post Tend and Befriend appeared first on Breastfeeding World.

Picture from Babycenter.com

A few weeks ago I introduced myself to ya’ll and shared my struggles with new parenthood and postpartum depression. I’m happy to say that since then, I’ve been doing a lot of healing, but I still have a long road ahead of me. I haven’t “beat” it yet. I still have bad days. But I keep the Beast locked in the closet, and it only comes out when it’s broken the locks, and busted through the doors and walls. But getting the Beast chained up and shoved in that closet has been no easy feat.. there is lots of self discovery involved.

I’ve come to discover that my biggest challenge and obstacle is myself. I’m standing in my own way of healing. Well, no more! I’m learning that every day I need to set a goal, make a plan and be productive. Some days this may simply mean taking a shower. Other days it means socialization. All I know is that taking it one day at a time, and pushing myself outside of my comfort zones is really having a positive impact.

One of my ventures that has given me purpose is my new Etsy shop. I’ve started to make custom ring slings, and I will soon be adding products to include nursing covers, bibs, and blankets. This business venture has taught me something very valuable though. Every mother just wants to be happy and comfortable, and we need to support each other through that. This is why I’m starting a business. I’m starting small, but hope to touch mothers’ lives by supporting their individual needs.

While my Etsy shop, and blogging for Breastfeeding World has been very therapeutic it lacks personal interaction. I’m still holed up in a dark house all day. So today, thanks to a neighbor who I hope grows into a good friend, I joined MOPS which is a local Mommy group. I can bring Critter, there is a daycare option if you wish (I don’t), and best of all there is in person, adult to adult, woman to woman interaction for about 2 hours every other week.

I was petrified of attending tho meeting

What if I’m awkward? I don’t know anyone! What if no one likes me? Do I really want to do this? Are these women just going to judge me for something? Are they going to tell me how to raise my kid? I don’t wanna go. I don’t wanna wake up. This requires a shower! I should probably stay home.

Well guess what? I was awkward. But I wasn’t the only one. I didn’t know many people.. but I wasn’t the only one. And isn’t that the whole point anyway? Go make friends? Yes. It is! No. No one made me feel judged, and no one offered unsolicited child rearing advice. It didn’t matter if I wanted to go. I had to go. I couldn’t stay home. Guess what else? I actually enjoyed myself. Getting out energized me. I had something to talk to my husband about when he asked how my day went. I didn’t just say, “What do you think?”.

from she knows.com

Mamas, when you’re suffering from Postpartum Depression, and you feel caged up like you can’t go out, or you don’t want to go out… it’s hard, but make like Nike and just do it! I’m so glad I went, and I will continue to go! In fact I’m going to sign up for the other group that meets alternate weeks as well. I was given an opportunity to reflect upon myself, and surround myself with other beautiful mothers who are going through, or have been where I’m at. I have great hopes for this adventure. I hope that I find a new part of myself. I hope to make friends. I hope to learn from others… Did you hear (read) that? I hope. I hope. Hope. I have found hope again. Just when I thought all hope was lost, and just when I thought my life royally sucked… I didn’t fix it all, but I at least found hope.

Now, I challenge you – yes, I’m talking to you, mama. The one wearing the same milk stained shirt for the 3rd day in a row, who may be turning into a vampire from lack of outdoor exposure, wallowing in your dark pit of confusion and despair, YOU – to set a goal, no matter how little, and achieve it. Set a bigger one for tomorrow. Get out of your comfort zone. Be awkward. It’s okay. Just be you. Don’t know who you are anymore? Then go find you.

Leave a comment below to share with us some of your personal challenges and how you’ve overcome them to fight back against the shadows of PPD!

Be sure to join us in our social media accounts to be up to date with the progress of our project!

And… Don’t forget to share your brelfies using our HT #BreastfeedingWorld 

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Jaimie Zaki

Jaimie is a mom, an Air Force wife, and nurse who grew up in rural Maryland. She has faced many challenges with the transition to motherhood. These challenges however, helped her find her passion for educating and supporting other women throughout their journeys and challenges in breastfeeding, relationships and motherhood. She is really excited to find her voice again by writing for Breastfeeding World and helping spread the good word!

The post Locking the Postpartum Depression Beast in the Closet appeared first on Breastfeeding World.

She might be your coworker, relative, neighbor, or cashier. While neither spoken of nor receiving as much attention as other birth practices, ingesting the placenta is on the rise. Everyday women who are enmeshed in everyday societal functions are subscribing to this form of self-care.  

Whether raw in a smoothie to mask the taste, dehydrated and encapsulated into pills, or frozen and saved for later in menopause, women who eat their placentas choose from a variety of methods to reap benefits that are wildly unresearched by scientists. The age old tradition of personal reccommendation and anecdotal evidence is how the practice is promoted. On closed facebook groups, in small prenatal classes at birth centers, and simple word of mouth is how women are finding out about the notion of natural healing through the placenta. 

While the scientific literature backing up the benefits of consuming placenta are scarce, women who have done this can firmy attest to it. Ensuring milk supply, hormonal balance to overcome PPD, endurance after birth, and speedy recovery are just a few benefits women experience. 

Nowadays encapsulated placenta is commonly consumed by mothers

Nurse Manager Megan King of Lifecycle Woman Care tipped me off to this strange yet appealing practice. She calmly told her own personal story during a break in the birthing class she was teaching. Her story was heartwrenching as she described how it felt during her first newborn experience with PPD versus that of her second child in which she ate her placenta out of desperation to avoid that feeling again. 

“Night and day” was the exact way she put it. My fiancè leaned over and whispered “you should totally do that” as he recalled the midwives identified me as being at risk for depression and anxiety post partum.  Later that day I got on the internet to begin my quest for more information. I stumbled upon a local mother who runs a small service out of her home. Heather admitted the process was simple and I could do it for free, but it is not something most women want to busy themselves with on their first day home with baby. 

Three days after birth, my placenta pills arrived and I followed the approach recommended by my encapsulating service.  My story adds to the library of unresearched testaments of profound benefits. My milk spewed from my breasts, I found myself scrubbing the bathroom floor while my newborn napped, and while I experienced a degree of maternal anxiety I can confidently say PPD did not take over my new mom experience!

I was not prepared for my endless supply of milk postpartum!

 If you are worried about developing post partum depression or anxiety, milk supply, or simply want power over your own birth experience through ingesting your placenta, here are a few pointers: 

• Find a local service online through a google search during pregnancy. 
• Write it in your birth plan, inform your birth partner, and verbally inform your birthing staff before delivery. 
• Understand that lack of research is why many of these claims are unsupported and women continue to rely on other experienced women to pass down this information.
• Nothing is guaranteed and not all women will have the same outcome. 
• Bring a cooler and ice to your birth to preserve the placenta until you are ready to prepare or transport it.
• Consider the health of the placenta and your personal health during pregnancy. 

Only you can decide if ingesting the nutrient dense placenta is right for you. Drop a comment below if you have or are considering using your placenta instead of  labeling it medical waste! 

Don’t leave without checking out my previous post: “Nursing Blind”

Don’t forget to join us in our social media accounts to be up to date with the progress of our project!

And… Don’t forget to share your brelfies using our HT #BreastfeedingWorld 

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Laura Pollera

I am excited to share my experience and knowledge with you! I’m a certified elementary school teacher turned stay at home mom. My former specialty was in direct support to children with intellectual and developmental disorders as well as being a lead teacher in preschool. I have a passion for lactivism and am in the process of becoming a La Leche League Leader. My son and I follow natural term breastfeeding/baby-led weaning, plant-based living, bedsharing, and babywearing while my fiancè and I consider ourselves to be attachment and peaceful parents. Find her on Instagram: @peace_love_fam

peacelovefam.wordpress.com

The post Do Women Really Eat Their Own Placenta? appeared first on Breastfeeding World.