“Is cluster feeding normal?” (Yes.)

“Is the ‘ring of fire’ real?” (Yes, though miserable imagery in that phrase.)

“Do I need to ‘pump and dump’?” (No.)

“How long will it take to ‘bounce back’ after birth?” (That concept is an illusion.)

The list goes on. There also some questions that never get asked, for one reason or another. Though I know from personal experience and years doing doula work that parents, specifically the birthing parent, are wondering about. Let’s begin with this one:

Will I ever want to have sex again?

Believe it or not- one day, maybe far from now and maybe right around the corner, you will feel strong, sexy and ready to engage in more physically intimate acts with your partner. Imagine that! It may just happen out of nowhere.

You may wake up one morning or get ready for bed one night and BAM, like a bolt of sexual lightening you will be transformed into a sex goddess and be ready to ‘make up for lost time’, as they say.

Oh how I hope that is you!

For most though, it will be a slow and steady journey of self-care and emotional bonding with your partner that will ready you for deeper physical intimacy.

Ensuring you are nourished, quenched, well slept (its all relative) and feeling supported by your partner, family, friends, whomever, will lend itself to the revival of your libido.

I hadn’t been hit by a bolt of “sexual lightening” yet here…

And also, biology. For many, breastfeeding can keep Estrogen levels low, which can result in vaginal dryness- making intercourse uncomfortable without lubricant- and making you disinterested in sex at all. In that case, staying well hydrated and practicing patience are key.

No one can guarantee that you will return to the feelings you experienced before your pregnancy. Things have changed, shifted, grown.

If you can mentally accept the change and welcome in patience and self care, you can rest assured that your sex drive will be there waiting for you with a smile…and a wink

Alyia Cutler

A birth doula formerly out of Brooklyn, we moved our family to the foot of Mt Beacon in the Hudson Valley, NY. Between raising two kids, a greyhound and a sphynx cat- and supporting birthing people and their families through pregnancy, childbirth and postpartum, I have my hands full- and my heart more so! My life is a constant stream of breastmilk, grocery shopping and gratitude.

www.risingmoondoula.com

The post Will I Ever Have Sex Again? appeared first on Breastfeeding World.

I ate lots of different veggies and fruit and enjoyed home cooked meals almost every day.  However, those meals oftentimes included fried meat, gravy, butter, flour, lots of salt etc. The relationship of food was to fulfill a hunger “need” and comfort.  The relationship to feed your body well so that on a cellular level your body could operate as needed was not included…

Fast forward a few years and I decide to give up pork at the age of 14.  Literally, I told my mother I no longer would no longer eat pork, and asked her not to buy it.  I did “well” for what I thought I should be eating. I may have missed the mark just a tad!

As I grew and learned more about our bodies and healing, I turned to a more natural approach to nutrition and healing.

I was never much of a pill taker. So when I discovered the alternative uses of essential oils and teas, the transition was a no-brainer.  Anyhow, let’s skip to the good part- when I “label” myself as a vegan! Haha!

Summer/Fall of 2015 meat started to make me feel nauseous.  The sight and smell just turned my stomach.  At this point I was only eating fish mostly with the occasional chicken.  I gave those things up, so at that point you could consider me vegetarian.  I hung on to cheese as it had ALWAYS been a favorite thing of mine to eat.  Shredded, cubed, sliced, whipped, creamed, it did not matter the form, I LOVED IT! Sadly, that needed to change…

I do believe in manifesting good thoughts and leaning towards new challenges.

So when February 10, 2016 came (aka Lent), I decided to “go vegan” for 40 days.

What. Was. I. Thinking.

This journey wasn’t just me- I drug along my entire family…all six of us!  At first, I struggled, but the more I ventured out and found new things, the better. Soon I started to feel better, sleep better, and have more energy.  Maybe I was on to something?

So when the 40 days of lent ended, I never looked back.

Choosing a vegan lifestyle became one of the best decisions I could have made for myself and family.  When you are mindful of what you’re putting into your body, and the effects it has on your mind- the result is powerful.  YOU have the control!!  Knowing that I could turn off predisposed markers according to family history due to diet and continuing to use natural remedies was eye opening and continually proving to be beneficial.

It has now been one year and one month since I became a vegan, and I love every minute.

Now I am eating things that I never had before! I’m expanding my palate, and introducing new things to the family all the time!  Being vegan is not just our “diet” it encompasses the products we use at home.  I make our own lotion, hand soap, deodorant, mouth wash and hair oil. All of these things are derived from plants and essentially keep us away from toxins.  You do not have to make your own but it is super easy and something I enjoy.  There are some good brands you can buy on the market that are vegan and cruelty free.

My husband has been a huge supporter and advocate as he has seen the many benefits for himself as well and in our children.  This is a lifestyle that can be easily adopted by anyone.

About the Author, Aimbriel Lasley

Aimbriel is an Indiana native, wife and mother of four. On top of being a wife and mother and all of the responsibilities that come along with those roles she owns and operates Purely Maternal, LLC. Her passion of breastfeeding and maternal care is an essential part of her life. Being able to educate mothers and families on their options, assisting them with birth planning, breastfeeding education and nutrition is a journey she never thought she would take but she is surely glad she did. She enjoys learning and making new recipes, spending time with her family, learning and loving!

I am always willing to share with those who inquire, so follow me on Instagram!

My handle is: black_mamavegan

Peace,

Aimbriel

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A photography project founded in late 2014 by Alexia Garcia, photographer a Alegares Photography. Breastfeeding World aims to promote breastfeeding and encourage new moms to nurse their babies through the art of photography and story telling.

The post This is Why I Chose a Vegan Lifestyle for our Family appeared first on Breastfeeding World.

I had a deep desire to labor and birth our third child in our home before I ever imagined having a fourth. Home Birth was in my heart before I remarried. It wasn’t something that I chose as a RESULT of a terrible experience in the hospital. Women and couples decide to have a home birth in a plethora of ways. Could it be an option for you now or in the future? Let’s explore…

My home birth was all that I hoped it would be.

My midwife Mindy.

Both of my midwives, Brandi and Mindy, scheduled an in-home visit with my “birth party” once I reached 36 weeks; the magic number when baby should safely be born at home. My birth party (people present during labor and birth) was probably larger than most. My husband and children were all present, my mom, sister, In-loves, a dear friend, and doula were all present during the exciting part of my labor and birth.

I say exciting part of my labor, because my water broke and I labored nearly 40 hours before MJ was born. Sounds awful doesn’t it? It wasn’t. The most frustrating part of laboring that long was coming to the realization that yes, my water broke at 7ish in the morning, but I wouldn’t meet my baby that same day.  My contractions continued, so I thought they were making progress. So far, the contractions weren’t unbearable- I could walk, sway, bounce, color, and talk to my mom while she baked cinnamon rolls in our kitchen.

My mom rolling homemade cinnamon rolls. Everyone was grateful for the smells and treat!

I should’ve known, with those signs that my labor would last a while longer.

After about 12 hours of laboring, I called Mindy to come check me out.It turned out that my cervix was only about 2 centimeters dilated. I felt so mad! At this point, I realized that I couldn’t inconvenience anyone who’d arrived as a willing part of this experience. Keep your party smaller, so you won’t have any of those feeling if you happen to have a longer than average labor.

Mindy was so gracious and sweet to me. She wasn’t the least bit annoyed that she’d come all that way only to return home with me still pregnant. She advised me to eat, drink a glass of wine and get some sleep. My mother-in-love was so sweet and volunteered to make the wine run two nights in a row because Saturday and Sunday were much of the same. Our family took shifts in and out to check on us and make sure we ate. I ate better while labored than I did the entire pregnancy!

My dear friend, Simone’ stopped by with my pregnancy craving.

By Sunday, I was going stir-crazy

I felt so annoyed at my still-pregnant state. Brent and I ended up padding the passenger’s seat of the car that night and taking a drive. Everyone left, and I had cabin fever. However, the time allowed us to talk and enjoy the view of the stars.

I woke up Monday morning to a big gush of fluid and substantial contractions. IT WAS ON.

Sweet toddler kisses between contractions.

Finally, we put out the call and woke up the family members that were already at house waiting. I remember using the restroom just after my midwife arrived, and sitting there fussing my husband out. It angered me- I was in labor and having a BM. The need disgusted me. Like, who does that?! I knew that this happened all the time, but it was the strangest feeling to me. I kept telling him it was all his fault. Haha!

We decided to check my cervix after I got cleaned up and I had progressed to four. We still knew there was a way to go, but knew we would meet MJ soon.

Once again, I misjudged my daughter.

She was out and on my chest in 41 minutes!!!! That might be the only thing that I would change. With contractions coming so close together, and then suddenly boom baby– it was hard for me to mentally and physical keep up with. I barely made it into the birthing tub. As soon as I sat down, by body began pushing.

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I fell in love once more!

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My husband and I after my cervix check. I barely made it into the birth pool from here.

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My husband and I decided to leave her placenta attached for a few hours after birth. So MJ and I dried off and climbed back into bed to nurse while Mindy looked us over. Meanwhile, someone fed me and gave me water. I remember feeling so incredibly thankful to give birth at home, in my space.

Taken shortly after getting back in bed from the birthing pool.

There was no hurrying around going on just joy and excitement. After a few hours passed Mindy prepared a nice herbal bath for me and MJ to get cleaned up and then helped us get back in bed and comfy again. Seriously the best immediate postpartum period that I could have asked for.

MJ just after our herbal bath.

I know you have some curiosities…

Throughout the pregnancy and labor, my husband and received lots of questions. I also like to open myself up to answer questions from others who are curious about home birth. Here are few that we’ve come across:

• What would you do if the baby stopped breathing?

If baby stops breathing or isn’t breathing at birth, the midwife takes resuscitation measures, just the same as the hospital. My midwives came equipped with rescue bags and it was our responsibility to provide a metal cookie sheet to serve as a hard surface in the event baby needed CPR. Do make sure the midwives you choose are trained in neonatal resuscitation.

•  How often do you check heartbeat?

Baby’s has his heartbeat checked aproximately every twenty minutes during active labor, but less often in early labor and during pushing.

• Do you prepare emergency plans? 

Yes, we prepare emergency back up plans. I registered with my back-up hospital ahead of time, in the event I needed transported.

• Can I eat/drink what I want the entire time?

I ate and drank EVERYTHING I wanted. I was SO hungry!

• Is it true that it’s unsanitary to give birth in the water that you are sitting in?

This is not true unless the water somehow becomes contaminated. If you have a bowel movement while pushing, you should of course get out of the water. This is the same procedure you would follow if you were pushing on the bed, and the soiled linen would be removed before baby is born.

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Coloring was a relaxing way for me to pass the time.

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Supply corner and my wall of affirmation. This was taken a few days before my water broke.

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One of my birth affirmations.

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• What do you do to provide mom comfort immediately after placenta delivers?

It’s a great option to have warm blankets or heating pads arranged. The parents or someone in the birth party can provide them. The entire experience is customized to fit the needs of mom/dad/family. However keep in mind that requests shouldn’t keep the midwives from ensuring the safety of Mom and baby.

• Does mom still go to the hospital afterwards? What preparations need to made beforehand as far as materials, sanitation, space, etc…?

No need for Mom to go to the hospital if delivery was uneventful. Your home should be just as clean as it normally is.  There is a list of supplies that we needed available for the birth. For instance, we had a water birth, so we had to get a water hose, plastic to go under the tub to protect our carpet and a bunch of extra towels on hand.

• Weren’t you concerned about infection with your water being broken so long?

I wasn’t. Being at home with ruptured membranes is much different from being at the hospital with all those germs.  I trusted my midwives and I follow their instructions closely. They told me to practice good hygiene, clean the toilet seat before each use, nothing in my vagina, to stay hydrated, and watch for signs of fever. I wasn’t gushing fluid at all. There was a slow leak until the morning MJ was born.

All my loves!

Hospitals are a great option, but they are not the ONLY option. Explore all of them and be fearless in making the best choice for you and your family. Are you interested in your own home birth? What are some of your question about the process? Let’s keep the conversation going! We would love to hear some of your home birth experiences.

Be sure to join us in our social media accounts to be up to date with the progress of our project!

And… Don’t forget to share your brelfies using our hashtag

#BreastfeedingWorld

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Joi Barnett

Joi is a Believer, wife, mother, entrepreneur, and artisan, who has a passion for educating and empowering women holistically. Using family and women’s health as a focus, Joi has built an all natural soap business and doula practice to serve the needs of her community. She lives and loves in Indiana with her husband and 4 children.

The post How to Have an Amazing Home Birth in a World of Hospitals Pt.2 appeared first on Breastfeeding World.

This one is definitely the most bittersweet breastfeeding experience, because she will be our last baby.

She is now 9 months, and I feel like we are counting down the weeks until our incredible journey is over. Not only just this journey, but my entire breastfeeding journey. I will miss so many countless things about nursing, but it has been a phenomenal experience and I wouldn’t change it for the world. Of course, I will not the bites, the twiddles, the nursing pads and bras, the leaking, the pain and soreness. But each time she looks up at me with those big brown eyes and gently places her soft hands on my cheek and gives me that sweet little smile in the middle of nursing it melts my heart. And that beautiful bond makes you forget about all of those other things. There are so many bittersweet breastfeeding feelings when I look at these pictures of my last nursing baby. Gah, I’m going to miss this!

About the Breastfeeding World Photographer:

Jennifer Effinger is the proud mother of Kellan (2 years old). She Currently lives in Greenfield, Indiana. Her Photography Company, Quite Dandy, focuses on Lifestyle, Natural Light photography. She loves capturing genuine interactions, and specializes in children, families, breastfeeding, and births. She is excited to Join the Breastfeeding World Team as a Photographer because she loves capturing the interactions of childhood, and  what is more precious than the bond between mother and child?

Be sure to join us in our social media accounts to be up to date with the progress of our project!

And… Don’t forget to share your brelfies using our HT #BreastfeedingWorld 

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A photography project founded in late 2014 by Alexia Garcia, photographer a Alegares Photography. Breastfeeding World aims to promote breastfeeding and encourage new moms to nurse their babies through the art of photography and story telling.

The post Bittersweet Breastfeeding: Behind the Scenes of a 5 time Mom appeared first on Breastfeeding World.

My midwife, Mindy, and my dear friend Ebony chatting as they fill my birthing pool.

When you tell people that you are having your baby at home, they tend to look at you like you have three heads

Even though home birth was the only way babies were born for centuries, it has become taboo. However in recent years, home birth has seen a resurgence in current culture, as women opt to have their babies on their terms. There are SO many women who are not happy with previous in-hospital birthing experiences. Unfortunately, some of us still refuse to accept that we have options beyond giving birth to our babies in sterile, cold hospitals- and not in the comfort of our own home. We’ve allowed the procedural to take precedence over the personal.

My Home-Birth Story Will Make You See Birthing in an Amazing New Way

It Could All Be So Simple…

There is no way for me to explain to you why I am so passionate about women being aware of all their birthing options without sharing a bit of my own experience. I am a Mom of four beautiful children. Both of my eldest babies were born “naturally” without incident. I also didn’t leave the hospital moved by my birthing experience. It just was what it was. Nothing special. I was just another woman who came to the hospital, had a baby, and was sent home with a few diapers and the back up formula bag.

Six years after having my eldest daughter, I became pregnant with my third child.

I was wiser and had more education regarding my options. I was DEAD SET ON having a midwife and a home birth. My bubble bursted quickly when I found out it was not legal for a midwife to attend a home birth in Kentucky. Off to the OB I went. Initially I felt excited to find a young, Black, Female OB. I felt like she would understand what my wishes were, respect them, and help me stick to my guns. I was wrong. When I saw her picture on my computer screen, I saw my sister in a cape.

I thought she would serve as an advocate for me, but it turned out that she was just another doctor. I, of course, ended up on bed rest. After spending months on the couch and only going out to attend the millions of doctors appointments, I was spent. I felt OVER pregnancy and I missed my own Mom. By the time U had my next appointment, I went in to the office in a mood.

Upon being asked by my OB how I felt, I confessed: I was tired of being pregnant. I wanted my body back. Soon after, I was scheduled for an induction the following Monday. The decision to allow an induction came when I was in a highly emotional state. She never stopped to talk me down or reassure me that it wouldn’t be long before I’d be holding my baby. None of that. So, without any good medical reason to do so, my former White Coat Crusader was going to induce my labor.

This wasn’t MY plan.

On the morning of induction, I felt ambushed with misguided “care”. It was akin to reaching out to a friend for emotional support, only to have them comfort me with cocaine. Her “help” was hurting me. Even before I got to the hospital I felt confusion, regret and betrayal. I remember telling my husband that I hoped I was dilated to 5 centimeters and that my contractions would pick up. I wish that I had the courage then to just not show up. But it was too late to turn back.

My Hubby snapped this before my OB came up. The thumbs up was my way of saying: here we are so lets go with it.

After being checked in, my doctor came up to check my cervix. My cervix had dilated to 5 centimeters and I was 50% effaced (cervix shortens, softens, and thins). I had a fleeting moment of excitement. Then I heard her say, “I’m going to break your water now.” Immediately following the breaking of my water, warm amniotic fluid soiled the sheets. I was devastated. I asked her why she broke my water if I was already dilated to 5. Her exact words were “I don’t play. I get it rolling.” What, Sway?? I was livid. When her desire to get rolling came in, the rest of my options went out.

An hour later nurses started me on Pitiocin.

Pitocin is an artificial version of Oxytocin, the hormone that causes a woman’s uterus to contract during labor. Not asked; just started. When I questioned it, the nurses dismissed my concerns saying that Doc thought it was best because my contractions weren’t “strong enough”.

The medication continued getting increased. I requested that it not be turned up any more because of how strong and close my contractions were coming. My nurse kept saying that my doctor thought it was best. She blatantly disregarded what I, the patient, was asking her to do. My uterus became so irritable that I couldn’t move without having another contraction. On my last trip to the bathroom, it took about 10 minutes to get to the toilet because they just wouldn’t stop coming.

Hubs and my Mother-in-love did provide a few chuckles throughout.

Sit up. Contraction. Swing legs over the bed. Contraction. Stood up. Contraction. Take two steps. Contraction.

This is not a dramatization of my experiences. I wish that I didn’t remember so vividly.

Moments after she’d been placed on my chest.

Finally, it was time to push. Exhausted, I remember my OB yelling for me to push with each contraction. But I couldn’t keep up. They were coming like a flood. I stopped to breathe and her head popped up to look at me. She yelled, “PUSH!” I yelled back, “I NEED TO BREATHE!!’ When my daughter was finally born, we shared a blissful hour of skin to skin contact and breastfeeding.

And then more madness.

Have you ever wondered what postpartum hemorrhage looks like?

I handed my daughter over for my Mother-in-Love and other family to see while I got up to go to the restroom.

Love at first sight..

When I sat on the toilet, I felt a huge clot slip out. I mentioned it to my nurse and before I could turn to look, she flushed the toilet. She may not have been trying to hide anything, but that didn’t sit right with me. I got cleaned up and noticed that I seemed to still be having contractions. I was still in so much pain.

On my transport to the postpartum floor, I began to shiver. And the pain became worse. Because I could feel the blood and the clots between my legs, I requested that the nurses check while they were transferring my care one to another. They did and changed my pad. 15 or so minutes passed and my pad needed to be changed again. Again, I called the nurses in, and again the same routine. Still I shivered and I remained in a lot of pain. I don’t remember asking for pain meds.

The amount of blood concerned me

At some point, my daughter’s Godparents came into the room. I expressed my concern about the blood to my husband and how many times my pad needed to be changed. There was a comment made, “You just had a baby. You’re supposed to bleed a lot.” I dismissed this comment while my mother-in-love was telling me to calm down and try to sleep. I appeared anxious to her. Afraid, I knew I needed a moment to think. So I called my husband closer and asked him to ask everyone to leave. Once they were gone I tried to feel for the top of my uterus and realized it was displaced. It dawned on me that a few hours had now passed and I hadn’t emptied my bladder.

By this time, my peri pad had been changed four times. Once again, we summoned the nurses for restroom help, and to request meds to stop the contractions and slow the bleeding. I was in so much pain by this point that I lost my stomach into an emesis basin. My nurse didn’t hesitate to get an order for the meds that I requested and she administered the suppository as soon as I was back in bed. After a uterine massage, a pad change, and some time for the medication to work, I was feeling better and my bleeding was normal.

This experience was such an ordeal. My daughter was perfectly healthy and I am eternally grateful for that.

Artwork of our daughter by Ashley Cathey.

 The horror of what actually happened didn’t dawn on me until weeks later. I took inventory and I realized that if not for my medical training and knowing what signs to look for, I probably would have taken the advice of those around me. I would have changed my pad, requested meds for pain, and settled into sleep. Had I done that, I would have bled out in my sleep. I was so furious and traumatized that I didn’t even go back to my six week check up. I have only shared all the details of my experience a few times. It still chokes me up. I had to walk away from sharing this  today as not to break down in tears. My daughter is three years old now.

I don’t believe any woman should walk away from a birthing experience feeling this way.

Sadly, what happened to me happens to women all over this country and around the world; every single day. My goal is to help women be confident and knowledgeable about the options available to them.

In the second part of this post, I will share my experience with home birth and answer some of the questions I have received about what to consider when thinking about home birth as a birthing option.

Have you had a birth experience that you were unhappy with or do you know someone that has? I’ve found that exploring my feelings about my experience and sharing with others to be empowering. It is high time that we as women say what is best for us! We do not have to await the medical community or government to make sweeping changes for us. The unity amongst women is not to be underestimated.

Joi Barnett

Joi is a Believer, wife, mother, entrepreneur, and artisan, who has a passion for educating and empowering women holistically. Using family and women’s health as a focus, Joi has built an all natural soap business and doula practice to serve the needs of her community. She lives and loves in Indiana with her husband and 4 children.

The post How to have an amazing home birth in a world of hospitals, Pt 1 appeared first on Breastfeeding World.

In 2015, our project began with a few passionate moms in NYC. United together, they were excited to support other women and normalize breastfeeding. Since then, our small breastfeeding community has blossomed around the world. While our photo shoots and Big Latch On events remain in localized areas across the globe, our online community now reaches thousands of moms every week.

Together, we continue to grow, support, and “Spread the breastfeeding love.” However, Breastfeeding World needs you to join our team of volunteer blog contributors. Here, we continue to grow and support our amazing mommy readers!

Want to know more? Let me explain…

Photo taken from: http://www.77yregiment.com

• First, are you passionate about writing?
• Are you a lactation professional, SAHM, Working Mom, or blogger looking for a creative outlet?
• Do you enjoy telling stories?
• Can you share valuable tips about breastfeeding, birthing, child development, or parenting with other moms around the world?

We are looking for intelligent parents, who are willing to commit to submitting monthly blog posts with these guidelines:

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A photography project founded in late 2014 by Alexia Garcia, photographer a Alegares Photography. Breastfeeding World aims to promote breastfeeding and encourage new moms to nurse their babies through the art of photography and story telling.

The post Looking for Volunteer Blog Contributors appeared first on Breastfeeding World.

All Doulas work differently in their styles but a Doula’s main focus is the mother. There are many techniques a Doula may use during labor such as essential oils or a rebozo wrap to help with labor pains. They can also be there to provide information in regards to things such as breastfeeding, babywearing, and she may also provide more parenting tips for parent/s.

A Doula is not a medical professional and can not perform any medical tasks that include delivering a baby or giving medical advice. But a Doula can provide you with all the information needed to come up with a birth plan that fits you and she will be there to show you how to be an advocate for yourself

There are many woman like myself that have had a doula and will tell you that they don’t regret the experience, some would not go through labor without one. If you are interested in learning more about a Doula you are able to by searching on the web, asking family/friends or even searching through facebook groups. The cost of Doula services can go anywhere up to $2,000 but you may find Doula professionals that charge based on income. I highly recommend anyone to look into finding a Doula for your pregnancy/birth/post partum period. I can gaurantee that you will not be disappointed by the experience at all.

Be sure to join us in our social media accounts to be up to date with the progress of our project!

And… Don’t forget to share your brelfies using our HT #NYCBreastfeedingWorld 

 

Lisa Maloney

Born and raised in Brooklyn, New York. I am a 31 year old mother of 3: Crystalltynn-14, Carla -13 and Anthony who is 19 months old. I breastfed all my children for various durations but did not have the proper support or knowledge with my older daughters, so I was very determined to achieve my breastfeeding goals with my son. I learned that advocating for breastfeeding rights was not benefitting for me and my peers, but for my daughters and their generation, I hope that one day breastfeeding is more normalized and no woman will second guess the power of their bodies or be ashamed.

The post Why should I have a Doula? appeared first on Breastfeeding World.