Vulnerable babies born prematurely or with medical conditions, are born with a challenging start to their lives. Some parents have time to prepare for this with a diagnosis in utero. However, for other parents it becomes a total surprise when one’s baby is quickly whipped away at birth for lifesaving care and treatment. No matter how or what the circumstances are, any NICU mother will face difficulties.

Feeding a NICU baby may be one of the biggest challenges.

Breastfeeding, formula feeding and nasogastric feeding. All of these present their own set of challenges that a NICU mum and her baby have to face.

The road to breastfeeding your baby in the NICU can be a slow and gradual progression. It can be weeks or even months until a baby is ready to independently and exclusively breastfeed. When the time arrives, this moment becomes an exciting and memorable milestone. Some of the limitations a mother faces begins with the access to her own baby. This access can be limited since the newborn may be in an incubator, under photo therapy lights or attached to many machines and tubes. Skin to skin bonding  (which stimulates oxytocins, milk production, and a good latch) may be minimal or even non existent.

Often times, a mother is forced to find other means for bonding and breastmilk production. These may come in the form of expressing breastmilk, looking at photos and hand holding their baby.

Formula feeding a baby in the NICU may be out of a mother’s control.

Little Hannah’s first breastfeeding session at 1 month of age

A newborn baby needs calculated nutrition right at birth and in the days or weeks following. A mother may struggle with not producing enough breastmilk to sustain her baby. Formula feeding then becomes the right choice for them at the time. There can be some benefits with formula feeding a baby in the NICU.

The time and stress with breastmilk production, expressing and/or latching dissapear. This time is often replaced with bonding and recovering. If feedings are hourly or second hourly some can be attended by a partner or nursing/midwife staff. However, formula feeding can also come with some challenges, especially to a mother who was desperate to breastfeed.

Another very common means for nutrition in the NICU is nasogastric feeding. For any newborn baby, feeding are energy consuming since they must happen around the clock. Precious little ones in the NICU need all the energy they can get to fight for their health and sometimes their life.

Some babies, especially premature babies, have trouble with sucking and swallowing; this can impact on their nutrition intake and therefor their growth and wellbeing. As mentioned above, nasogastric tube feeding is a common source of feeding in the NICU, the good thing about it is that it can be done during a baby’s sleep without disturbing them to complete the feeding. Nasogastric feeding saves them energy and gets the job done. Another positive is that a mother is able to cuddle and hold her baby and even latch him/her to the breast all whilst having a nasogastric feeding. This experience for both mother and baby holds so much value on their wellbeing and recovery.

For many NICU mums, figuring out how to feed your baby and give them the best start in life, raises many questions and anxiety.

A baby requires nutrition, growth as well as around the clock, timed and measured feedings. The decisions and anxiety regarding how to best feed a baby are some worries that a mum of a full term healthy baby may not experience to the fullest. For mums, feeding is a synonym of bonding and cuddling. It’s a desire and a goal.

All mums experience the same body and breast changes after birth. Facilitating a NICU mum to have the same opportunities as any other mum is important for the baby’s and her wellbeing. Keep in mind that a mother’s mental health can be affected due to her feeling like she has failed her baby in some way.

Remember that no matter what feeding option you choose, you are doing what is best for your baby at the time given the circumstances. Don’t be hard on yourself.

What was your personal experience with feeding your baby while at the NICU?

Amanda Marsden

I am a busy mum to 3 children, I have had 3 very different pregnancies and breastfeeding journeys. I have worked in health since finishing school (20 years ago), it is all that I know and all that I love, I don’t see myself doing anything else. I have been a Registered Nurse/paramedic all this time and since having my family I became a Registered Midwife. My journey as a midwife has allowed me to promote and normalise birth and breastfeeding, my passion is in educating and empowering women through my HypnoBirthing education.

The post Challenges NICU mothers face when feeding their baby appeared first on Breastfeeding World.

The first two weeks of breastfeeding are definitely the hardest. You  are learning how to take care of a new baby, how to take care of  yourself and recover from birth, and learning how this all changes  your family dynamic. While I am not an expert, and I am not a  lactation consultant, I have successfully nursed 3 children within the  past 5 years. I am not claiming to know everything and I do not want  you to take my advice over a pediatrician or lactation consultant.   Continue reading for how to survive the first two weeks of  breastfeeding.

“Just make it past the first 2 weeks of breastfeeding.” I heard that  over and over during my first pregnancy in 2014. I would then ask  myself, what do they mean the first two weeks? Isn’t it suppose to be  natural and easy? I told myself my body would know what to do.  However, it wasn’t quite that simple. Every breastfeeding journey is  different. My second wasn’t the same as my first, and neither were the  same as my friends.

Breastfeeding has a way of making a woman feel empowered and capable.  It is miraculous. But it can also be exhausting and hard. It can lead  to beautiful moments and WTF moments. It is learning journey that you  and your baby are on together.

The 9 obstacles to overcome the first 14 days of breastfeeding.

1. Learn how to breastfeed.

What positions your baby likes, what  positions you like, what are your babies feeding cues, and what are  their feeding rhythms. Getting a deep latch can be difficult but making a “boob sandwich” can help. Do this by taking your hand in a C shape around your nipple. Touch your nipple to your baby’s upper  lip/nose to get the baby to open wide and shove as much of your boob in.  Each baby will be different. Learn to trust your instincts and do what  works for you and your baby.

2. Get your mind right.

For me that meant I had to know that  everything wasn’t going to go the way I planned, and I needed to be  okay with that. Follow your baby’s lead. If baby acts hungry feed  him/her. There is no such thing as overfeeding a baby in the beginning.

3. The after-pains.

During breastfeeding after having a baby, you will experience minor contractions in your uterus (while uncomfortable at times, it is not nearly what your contractions during childbirth felt like. I promise). When you breastfeed, your body releases oxytocin. This is the same hormone that causes your uterus to  contract. This will continue until your uterus is contracted back down to pre-pregnacy size.

4. Day/Night schedule.

Babies usually have their nights and days mixed up in the beginning. In the womb you were up and active all  day, giving baby the perfect rocking motion to sleep away. At night  your baby became more active when you were resting on the couch after a long day. Their brains stay in this pattern after birth. You can  help your baby with this process by being in sunlight during the day and keeping things quiet and dark at night.

Making a “Boob sandwich” to help with getting a deep latch for Breastfeeding. First Baby-April 2015

5. Day 2/3.

Whew, this one is BIG. Your hormones are all out of wack,  you are trying to learn how to take care of a new human, you might be  in pain, and you just want to sleep. This is the stage when you might cry (I did!) and maybe even question if you know how to be a mother.  The thing is–you don’t and you don’t have to. Being a mother,  breastfeeding, parenting; all of it is a learning curve. Its  continuing education. (If you are feeling down, its OKAY. Ask for  help. Postpartum blues can turn into postpartum depression/anxiety. It  is real and it is OKAY and NECESSARY to ask for help).

Determined to breastfeed? Check out 5 Essential Breastfeeding Tips here.

6. Milk milk milk.

When your milk comes in (it is different for each  person, but usually between days 2-5) your breast swell and they hurt.  They are full. Your body doesn’t know how much milk your baby will  need so it over produces during this time. It often becomes difficult  for your baby to latch because of the swelling. You can express a little to soften your breast enough for the baby to latch. The most  important thing for you to do during this time is keep the milk moving. You can do that by breastfeeding, hand expressing, or pumping.  If your breast do not feel soft after nursing your baby, hand  express/or pump. It is important to get your breast soft (not  necessary to be empty) to hopefully avoid engorgement and mastitis.

7. Nipple soreness is real.

Nipple soreness is normal, but there is a  difference in nipple soreness pain and nipple pain that continues.  Your nipples are being pulled, sucked and stretched in ways they never  have been. It is normal to feel a slight discomfort at the beginning  of a feed, but it shouldn’t last longer than 30sec and the rest of the  feed should be comfortable. Any pain that makes you want to cry out, pain that lasts an entire feed, broken skin, or pain that  happens in between feeds is not normal, but can be fixed. You do not  have to suffer through it.

8. Stressing over if your baby is getting enough.

This is a HUGE worry of most moms (myself included). It is distressing to not know how much  your baby is taking in. A baby’s belly is the size of a marble when  they are born, so it doesn’t take much to fill them up in the  beginning. In the beginning, before your milk comes in, you will  produce colostrum (or should I say you will produce MAGIC?!) It is  highly concentrated in nutrients for your baby. A few ways to tell if  your baby is getting enough milk are: you can see your baby  swallowing, weight gain (after the first few days–you will see a  loss), and wet diapers (what goes in, must come out :)) Using a log  can help you keep up with how long you are breastfeeding and what your  baby is peeing/pooping out.

9. The first growth spurt.

Around the 10-14 day period you and your  baby may be in a good routine, but wait- your baby is about to go  through their first growth spurt. You will question everything you have learned about breastfeeding. You will question your milk supply.  Your baby will want to be at the breast ALL. THE. TIME. This is  normal. I repeat, this is normal. This is your baby’s way of telling  your body to up the milk production. Keep putting baby to breast as  much as possible. This will pass. 1.

If you have made it past the first two weeks, you have overcome so  many obstacles. You are AMAZING. If you are still struggling, please  reach out to someone. It is never too late, or too early, to ask for  help.

The First 2 Weeks Of Breastfeeding For Me

Vincent- First Child

The first two weeks with my first child were pretty difficult. He  didn’t want to suck, he wouldn’t wake to feed, he fell asleep nursing,  he lost weight…..IT WAS A STRUGGLE.

We went to the lactation consultant 4 times within those first two weeks. I cried. I was mad. I  was tired. BUT I kept pushing through. I woke up every 2 hours around  the clock for the first two weeks. Did you know that the time you  start breastfeeding is when you start your 2-hour timer? I didn’t!  

Example- we started feeding at 9am- he wouldn’t/couldn’t suck and  would fall back asleep so it was 10am before he was done feeding in  the beginning. I had 1 hour to catch up on sleep, or shower, or eat  and then it was back to the same routine again. It was HARD. We went  on to successfully breastfeed for 15 months.

Alexia- Second Child

My second child was ALWAYS waking up hungry but she was a huge spitter and my nipples HURT. The first thing we figured out was that she was  tongue tied. She wasn’t getting a good latch due to the decreased range of motion of her tongue.

Therefore my nipples were destroyed and  she wasn’t transferring well. (For my nipples I used all purpose nipple ointment and soothe pads). After getting her tongue tie fixed,  she was still a HUGE spitter. I am talking at the very least 1-2 oz of  milk came back up.

My pediatrician didn’t believe me when I would tell  her that she would spit it over half of her milk so she sent us to the lactation consultant where we did a weighted feed. Sure enough she spit up and we weighed again. She had lost over half of what she took  in. We tried reflux medication, cutting the top 8 allergens out of my  diet, seeing a GI specialist and even a swallow study (a few months  later).

I was so incredibly worried the first few weeks of her life. I  had milk, she was getting it, but she couldn’t keep it down. We went  on to successfully breastfeed for 13 months.

Callum-Third Child

My third baby, has been the easiest as far as breastfeeding. Not  because this is my third time around, but because he could suck and he kept the milk down. However, my milk didn’t come in until day 6! He would nurse and nurse and nurse every hour it felt like. He was actually gaining weight, but the doctor kept asking me if my milk had come in.

I hadn’t gotten that engorgement feeling yet, and by day 5 I  had started to worry. Finally it came in and all was well. He  preferred the cradle hold on the left, so getting him to nurse on the  right side we had to work at but we did it. We are still breastfeeding  at 7 months now <3.

I know I am lucky with all three of my breastfeeding journeys compared  to some, but I am so proud of us. I am proud of the mama who tried but it just didn’t work. I am proud of the mama who is taking it day by  day. I am proud of the mama who has been breastfeeding for 19 months.  I am proud of the mama pumping around the clock because latching just isn’t working out. I am proud of YOU.

Were the first two weeks hard for you? What helped you get through them? Let me know in comments!

Brittany Jordan

Hi! I am Brittany, also known as “Mama” to three beautiful children,  and I run Following the Jordans. I am a small town mom who hopes to  develop a “one stop place for women”. Prior to blogging I was a  Registered Nurse at a local hospital. When my middle child was 6  months old, I became a SAHM. (WHEW—talk about a different kind of  JOB. A different kind of HARD). I’ve been pregnant or breasting for 6  years now, and there are still things I am learning each day. My  friends are always asking for motherhood/breastfeeding advice and one of them suggested I start sharing it on a blog. That evening, the idea  for Following the Jordans was born. I started my blog to share all  things I am passionate about: Motherhood, Breastfeeding, Beauty,  Fashion, Self-care, Fitness and Everyday Life with other women. As a  mom I understand that life can be busy and it can be hard. Sometimes  really hard. By reading raw stories I’ve learned that I am not alone  during the hard seasons of life. I hope that by writing raw I can be a  place where other women feel heard, understood and safe. I write with  the hope that you can find inspiration, solitude, laughter, and maybe  a tip or hack to make motherhood, wife-hood, or just life-hood  (totally making up words now) easier and fun. xo-Brittany

The post Breastfeeding: What to expect and how to survive the first two weeks appeared first on Breastfeeding World.

We’ve all seen the movies- a young, gorgeous couple has drunk sex, conceives a baby effortlessly, woman goes into labor and channels all of her discomfort at her husband- yelling and cursing at him, “YOU DID THIS TO ME”. Then baby is born (magically already clean and swaddled) and the parents share a knowing look, sweet kiss and eventually a loving slow dance at 2am in the living room while rocking their quiet, sleeping infant. Hmmm…

That’s a lot to unpack- however there’s one thing in particular that irks me the most.

I don’t remember ever lovingly slow dancing in the living room at 2am. I remember cluster feeding in the dark while my partner slept. I remember pacing the bedroom, rocking the baby while she cried- endlessly, thinking, ‘wow, HE can really sleep through a n y t h i n g’.

So I wonder, am I the only one who hated my partner after I had my baby?

I didn’t hate him all the time; and certainly at varying degrees throughout the day (the highest degrees overnight). I didn’t tell him I hated him- and I didn’t tell anyone who came over to visit. But boy, did I feel it.

Max & Alyia Cutler, one day into marriage

A question many people have but don’t ask is, “Will I ever stop hating my partner?”

Yes, the odds are likely you will eventually stop hating your partner. Especially with first babies, there is a long, confusing, often treacherous terrain learning curve. And to add insult to injury, you and your partner are probably on different curves, traveling at different paces. You may be parenting on instinctual cues and gut feelings and your partner is getting advice from friends, books or blogs. Or you are up all night breastfeeding, cluster feeding, pumping, rocking, swaddling, and your partner is sleeping better than the baby…(just the thought gives me mini palpitations)

Either way, this too shall pass. Too cliché? But its true! Eventually your learning curves meet at a rest stop and share a huge reunion hug. For some it takes around 12 weeks, for others around 12 months. Yes, that’s a big difference. But yes, everyone is different!

The key to shifting your curves in similar directions is two fold: Communication and Surrender.

The first is toted as the key to a happy relationship in general. Got a problem? Talk about it. Have a question? Ask it. Need help? Say it. No exceptions!!

The second can be a bit more subtle. Surrendering is a constant practice. Rooted heavily in self-talk. Reminding yourself that it won’t ruin everything to try something your partner suggests. And it won’t be the end of the world to let your partner take the baby for a bit so you can take a nap, eat something, shower, walk outside, do anything, really. Surrendering to the idea that you can let someone else try something their way, or help you in a way you hadn’t considered can be magic. There’s a reason you chose your partner originally- right? Surrender. Be gentle on yourself and your partner and see what happens.

You may find you hate them a little less… or not…

Disclaimer: ‘Hate’ is a strong word. I use it a bit ‘tongue in cheek’ and the reality is, there are a lot of very big feelings swirling around during pregnancy, childbirth and postpartum. Hate is often used to talk about feelings of resentment, confusion, exhaustion- all common after having a baby. However, if you notice you’re feeling that and/or down, sad, miserable, anxious most of your day, please know you can change that. You deserve to feel good- call a therapist, talk to someone you trust, get support. Same goes for your partner

Be sure to join us in our social media accounts and be up to date with the progress of our project!

And… Don’t forget to share your brelfies using our hashtag

#BreastfeedingWorld

Alyia Cutler

A birth doula formerly out of Brooklyn, we moved our family to the foot of Mt Beacon in the Hudson Valley, NY. Between raising two kids, a greyhound and a sphynx cat- and supporting birthing people and their families through pregnancy, childbirth and postpartum, I have my hands full- and my heart more so! My life is a constant stream of breastmilk, grocery shopping and gratitude.

www.risingmoondoula.com

The post New Mom Confessions: Will I Ever Stop Hating My Partner? appeared first on Breastfeeding World.

Being a mom of two little humans, overcoming the burden of postpartum depression, and sharing my journey with many moms along the way, I’ve discovered a few ways you can surmount that unease and anxiety that naturally follows when you even think of leaving your baby.

Work out a schedule

Much like with all responsibilities in life, we neglect some that are not perceived as priorities. The same goes for those that are not among our parenting duties. Of course, your baby will always be a priority! But, a healthy baby spending time with your partner is no reason to worry, hover or panic. If only someone had told me that when we had our first baby girl, and I felt guilty for leaving her with her dad for a single afternoon!  

Instead, create a mutual schedule that includes so-called “baby-free” activities that will prepare you in advance, so that those negative emotions cannot overwhelm you. A routine will also help you cope with anxiety through exercise, pampering, or other relaxing activities that your body craves after days spent caring for everyone other than yourself.

You can start will a smaller amount of time, then slowly increase it as you ease yourself into the schedule. As you move along, share your feelings with your partner and don’t be afraid to ask for support.

Share the baby duties

Your partner may feel left out or pushed aside when it comes to your baby time. You might not even realize this, if you’re too anxious and thus focused on your little one. How about starting slow and inviting your partner to take part in those daily chores, such as bathing, changing or feeding?

Nowadays, some dads are able to take paternity leave to spend more time at home and be with you and the baby. This makes for a perfect opportunity to bond and strengthen the emotional connection among you as a family. One of my most precious memories is that of our son’s first giggle during a bubble bath!

Make lists

As silly as it may sound, lists are excellent, yet marvelously simple ways you can better manage your time. Use them to chart out your expectations, your needs both as a woman and a mom. This goes for your partner’s needs as a parent as well. Of course, don’t forget to note down everything you feel your baby needs.

As you go over those lists together, you can be confident that your partner’s time with the baby isn’t a reason for anxiety. That’s why I always feel at ease knowing that our little bundles of joy will have a bottle, a couple of warm pram blankets and diapers for every walk or alone time with dad. Preparing ahead and sharing these concerns will gradually help you let go of that unpleasant feeling. And, you’ll enjoy motherhood even more.

Adjust your expectations

Parenting roles have numerous differences. But, perhaps you and your partner’s parenting styles have different variations, which might contribute to your anxiety. First, it’s essential that you accept healthy differences and not try to impose your parenting style. Then, you can move on to talking it out with your partner, because learning about one another can improve your attitude and help you feel better.

Allow for a learning curve and imperfections. Because, no matter how hard your partner tries, they will likely fail to live up to all of your expectations. There is no room for perfection in a learning process. You can both share your opinions and wishes in order to give each other what you need, while also gaining a deeper understanding of your behaviors.

Design your me-time

In addition to that much-needed schedule, that will help you adapt to sharing baby time and devoting time to your own needs and other duties, you should always make room for stress-relieving techniques and methods that will help you cope.

My personal favorite was to do yoga twice a week. It restored my self-confidence and gave me peace of mind. Many moms enjoy a brisk walk in the park, reading a good book, or a girls’ afternoon out for shopping or chatting. The purpose of this non-parenting time is to relieve you of your pent up negativity, fears and worries.

Give yourself time to adjust to your role as a mom. Don’t be scared to explore all the stress-relieving activities you can introduce in your life. Asking for professional advice and guidance is also a valid option! Every mom should have the opportunity to live anxiety-free and joyfully share the earliest, most precious days of her infant’s life with her partner.

Be sure to join us in our social media accounts and be up to date with the progress of our project!

And… Don’t forget to share your brelfies using our hashtag

#BreastfeedingWorld

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Zara Lewis

The post How to Overcome Anxiety over Delegating Parenting Duties appeared first on Breastfeeding World.

Although our little bundles of joy do make us happy, many new moms find themselves dealing with postpartum depression in addition to many demanding responsibilities motherhood entails. I was no exception.

While there is no single strategy that solves this problem overnight, a few healthy habits can make a huge difference in helping you cope with postnatal depression. 

Babywearing is in fact one of them!. 

Such a simple behavior has an endless list of benefits that can help you overcome this severe issue by nurturing your mind back to health and promoting your baby’s and your own well-being.

1. It builds an emotional connection

During the first several weeks as a mom dealing with postpartum depression, you might experience difficulties connecting with your newborn.

In cases of traumatic conceptions, difficult pregnancies or complicated births, a mom can be even more affected by the lack of emotional closeness with her baby. This is where babywearing is surprisingly helpful. It allows you to feel your baby’s heartbeat, sense their every wiggle and the physical closeness that it provides will slowly create a natural emotional bond, which you will be able to nurture and cherish even further.

2. It gives you time to rest and recuperate

As your baby gets used to the new environment, you will most likely not be able to get a full hour of uninterrupted sleep for weeks. Preparing a meal without jumping to every sound your baby makes can leave you completely drained.

Dealing with postpartum depression only adds to this feeling of overwhelming exhaustion.

It makes it almost impossible to enjoy your role as a mom. Babies that are worn in slings and carriers actually become less fussy and they have a lower tendency to cry when they wake up.

Your constant touch and warmth will soothe the baby giving you plenty of time to rest in a comfortable armchair or even make a tasty meal to replenish your strength and energy.

3. It allows comfortable breastfeeding

Sometimes even the most experienced moms have trouble getting their newborns to latch on. Depression can only amplify the feelings of anxiousness and frustration.

For instance, I had trouble finding the right position to breastfeed my restless baby girl and my lack of energy only made it worse. When I started wearing my baby in a comfortable safe pouch, every breastfeeding session turned into an intimate bonding experience.

If you are new to babywearing like I was, make sure to check out other moms’ experiences. Reading their reviews on forums and social media will help you make a decision. Also, making sure to research everything about baby carriers online can be extremely helpful. 

Relevant factors such as material, durability, adaptability and size, will help you find the most suitable carrier for you and your baby.

4. It allows you more “Me-Time”

Depression in any form numbs your motivation to care for yourself. Postnatal depression is no exception. 

Spending all of that time caring for your baby is a perfectly natural desire but if you completely disregard your needs, that will easily affect your mental well-being in the long-run.

Moms that opt for wearing their babies on a regular basis, on the other hand, have much more time and freedom to tend to their own needs.

With my hands free and my baby sound asleep cooing on my chest, I quickly become more confident and relaxed. This has given me more time to practice self-care. Whether it is putting on some makeup, doing my hair, having a long-awaited phone call with my best friend or just reading my favorite book, devoting time to myself has done wonders for my emotional health.

It has encouraged a positive state of mind.

5. It nurtures your baby

Babywearing has been like a partner in my role as a mom.

It supports your baby’s physical development. All the way from hip and back strengthening  to healthy sleeping patterns. It helps you get more attuned to your baby’s body language and cues so you can react more quickly and efficiently when your child is hungry or needs changing. Since it also soothes the baby and ensures a secure, healthy attachment, wearing your baby will provide you with a peace of mind that would otherwise seem impossible. 

Motherhood is challenging enough as it is. Having a mom overburdened with symptoms of postnatal depression can be very risky for both her and her baby.

In addition to seeking help from a medical professional, every mom can try to do her best by implementing simple, healthy habits that will help her cope with depression. I can safely say from a personal experience that babywearing is one of the best choices you can make to ease yourself into your new role and enjoy motherhood from day one.

Love this post? Make sure to pin it!

We would love to hear from you. How has babywearing helped your motherhood journey?

Be sure to join us in our social media accounts and be up to date with the progress of our project!

And… Don’t forget to share your brelfies using our hashtag

#BreastfeedingWorld

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Zara Lewis

The post 5 Essential Ways Babywearing Helps you Deal with Postpartum Depression appeared first on Breastfeeding World.

If you’ve ever ran an actual marathon or even just a short race, you know that physical strength and endurance is only half the battle. It takes a great amount of mental muscle, determination, perseverance, and willpower to finish a race. Being a mom not only requires all of the above, but also a total shift and transformation of her entire identity, and she will need all of the mental strength she can gather in order to wherewithal the changes and blossom through the motherhood journey.

Living in the Western World, our culture, talks a lot about mothers and their postpartum bodies.

You read about “How to Get Your Body Back” and “How to Love Those Tiger Stripes.” You see Celebrities flaunting their bikinis just weeks after birth, and you keep reminding yourself about the airbrushing. You hear about your mommy friend’s new meal plan and workout program. The messages are everywhere we turn. Now, there is certainly nothing wrong with promoting physical health and strength to mothers, but I think we can agree that there is certainly a lack of balance when it comes to promoting wholeness.

There’s no shortage of information and resources available to mothers who want to improve their physical health and physique, but what about maternal mental health? I’m not just talking about awareness related to perinatal mood disorders, like postpartum depression and anxiety, etc. I’m also talking about the mental fortitude and strength that it takes to have a healthy, happy, and sound mind while mothering. Even mothers who do not struggle with any form of mental illness lack necessary skills for being mindful.

The reality is that we need more resources- and more talk- about mental wellness.

So, in an effort to build up the mothering mind, I’m going to share 3 helpful tips that all mothers can apply to their daily lives that will improve their mental health. (Keep in mind that there are many more than just these 3, but 3 are a good starting place.)

1. Check Your Thoughts.

There’s nothing more frustrating for a mother than when she is playing with her children, enjoying her time with them, and suddenly be interrupted by a negative thought that affects her mood and state of mind. You don’t want to waste energy on thoughts that are counterproductive to what you are doing or wanting to accomplish. Most people believe every thought that they ever have is true, but this is simply not the case. If you can pause and quickly evaluate your thoughts more often, especially the ones that bring up strong emotions, you can begin to weed out the ones that are simply not true and move on.

Here’s the deal, we are our own worst critics, and we can easily ruminate or mull over negative thoughts concerning ourselves, which can then lead us to think critically of others including our spouses, our children, and our friends, which will only drain mental strength and tear down our closest relationships. For those thoughts, the ones tied to strong emotions and that do ring true, give yourself permission to stop thinking about it in the present. Decide on a more appropriate time when you can spend more mental energy figuring it out. Thinking about your thoughts,may sound odd. But building an awareness of how you think will help you change your unproductive or unhelpful thought patterns, which will lead to changes in how you feel and behave.

2. Practice Gratitude.

At times, we as mothers can get caught up in comparing ourselves to other mothers. Have you ever heard of ‘mommy wars’? Well, the real battle is within ourselves. We might look around and feel like we don’t measure up to certain standards. Thoughts and feelings such as jealousy, or frustration, or inferiority can surface and drain our mental energies. Such toxic emotions can also ruin relationships and isolate us. So, in order to help keep your thoughts in check, replace negative and untrue thoughts with grateful ones. In this way, you will help build up resiliency.

An attitude and mindset fixed on gratitude is a great way to keep your life in perspective.

Many people feel surprised by how much better they feel when they spend more time thinking about the things they are thankful for, instead of focusing on what they do not have. In fact, there are many benefits outside of psychological ones that are worth practicing gratitude for. It doesn’t take too much effort to come up with at least one thankful thought, once you get the ball rolling. Before long, you will discover that you have filled your heart with appreciation and your mind filled with happier thoughts. The tune you carry within will be felt by your children. Naturally, they are acutely attuned to your attitude. Just remember, happy song, happy mom.

3. Be Compassionate Toward Yourself.

Do you ever feel like you just keep missing the mark? Maybe your expectations of what motherhood should be are constantly being shot down? As mentioned earlier, we can be our own worst enemy. And if we are hard on ourselves,then we are likely to treat our family and friends in a similar way.

A mother’s standard is usually set pretty high. And though there is nothing wrong with this, an expectation that is unrealistic can cause frustration and some mental fog. Mom might feel like she has to do everything herself and she may have a difficult time asking for help. The secret? Self-Compassion! Set realistic goals, and love who you are by being gracious and kind to yourself. Accept the fact that motherhood is messy and beautiful. Forgive yourself for your mistakes. Remind yourself that you are doing your very best, and that is all you need. Loving yourself will help keep you mentally strong for whatever trials come your way.

So, as you can see, the work that we do with our minds is similar to how we train our physical bodies. It takes time, consistency, and work to build those mental muscles. We must be intentional about rewiring our thought processes; they don’t just happen on their own. Though it may not be easy, the evidence give us hope and encouragement to change our old way of thinking for something new and refreshing. Being a mentally strong mom simply allows us to enjoy our motherhood journeys more. You are worth it.

Be sure to join us in our social media accounts to be up to date with the progress of our project!

And… Don’t forget to share your brelfies using our hashtag

#BreastfeedingWorld

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Paige Christian

I’m a proud midwesterner who loves the simple and beautiful things in life. I’m currently a SAHM and loving this season in life where I am privileged to be with my two precious toddlers all day and night. My career focus is in social work. I received my MSW from Asbury University in 2012 and am a licensed social worker. My passions are counseling, writing, researching, teaching, inspiring, and encouraging others, especially mothers. My mama style consists of breastfeeding, cloth diapering, baby led weaning, baby wearing, and some positive parenting approaches. I’m also a mama blogger at My Joyful Nest where I like to encourage mothers on their own journeys.

www.myjoyfulnest.com

The post 3 Ways to Become a Mentally Strong Mom appeared first on Breastfeeding World.

Outside of pregnancy, breastfeeding is a journey that will require more of her than she ever thought possible. Any nursing mother knows the hard work and dedication, the pain and the tears, the closeness and the joy, the consistent surrendering and offering of her own body to meet the needs of her baby. It’s a powerful and beautiful bond that is unique and personal between each mother and baby.

Now you would think that something so natural as breastfeeding would come easy, and at times it does, but just as mother nature has these things called natural disasters, breastfeeding mothers have trials of their own that they have to overcome. Thankfully there are many resources and a plethora of information available for breastfeeding mothers.

However, in comparison to the amount of information concerning the beginning and middle phases of breastfeeding, there’s not as much openness or talk about the ending phases of breastfeeding in relation to a mother’s emotions.

Have you ever heard of post-weaning depression?

In my experience, I felt unprepared for how sad and even disappointed I would feel when both of my children self-weaned. I remember in the very early days, dreaming about the end of breastfeeding.  I couldn’t imagine that breastfeeding would get any easier, let alone become enjoyable- but it did. Toward the middle of our journey, I found myself wanting to nurse until my youngest turned two. Then, just a few months after her first birthday, she self weaned. When the end came, the last drop of milk gone, I was left with salty tears. In some ways it felt like a rejection by my own children. I always thought that I would initiate the end of our breastfeeding relationship. I found myself experiencing loss, and didn’t feel ready to give up the one thing that only I could provide for my babies.

After researching, reading, and confiding in other mothers, I found that my feelings towards weaning were very common.

In fact, many mothers experience feelings of sadness and even depression during and after the weaning process. Weaning marks a significant change in the mother-child relationship. There’s also research which shows that hormonal changes play a part in these feelings of sadness. Hormone levels of oxytocin and prolactin, which create feelings of happiness, drop during the weaning process. I discovered that it was also normal for mothers to feel relieved and happy during and after the weaning process. Some mothers feel completely “touched out” and are ready for the transition. Sometimes the child has a harder time letting go of the breastfeeding relationship. Other mothers may experience anxiety, irritability, or mood swings.

The point is that there are various reasons for weaning, and there are variations of normal when it comes to how a mother and child may feel during and after that process. The important part is for mom to be aware and able to recognize and accept those emotions, whatever they are, and then find a new normal for herself, the child, and their relationship.

Finally, If you are having a difficult time coping with some of these feelings and need help finding a new normal, look here for some excellent tips. And if difficult feelings don’t subside after a few weeks of weaning, don’t be afraid or hesitant to seek professional help.

Read Now, or Pin for later. Whatever you choose, we thank you for helping our mission to normalize breastfeeding by “sharing the breastfeeding love.”

Taking care of yourself is the best decision you could make for you and your family, and rest assured that other moms have been there. The ending of breastfeeding can be just as difficult as it was starting out, but try to treasure the time that you had, and remember there is hope for feeling better, and new adventures to be had with your child. We get it, and we are cheering you on!

Be sure to join us in our social media accounts to be up to date with the progress of our project!

And… Don’t forget to share your brelfies using our hashtag

#BreastfeedingWorld

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Paige Christian

I’m a proud midwesterner who loves the simple and beautiful things in life. I’m currently a SAHM and loving this season in life where I am privileged to be with my two precious toddlers all day and night. My career focus is in social work. I received my MSW from Asbury University in 2012 and am a licensed social worker. My passions are counseling, writing, researching, teaching, inspiring, and encouraging others, especially mothers. My mama style consists of breastfeeding, cloth diapering, baby led weaning, baby wearing, and some positive parenting approaches. I’m also a mama blogger at My Joyful Nest where I like to encourage mothers on their own journeys.

www.myjoyfulnest.com

The post What happens to me when my baby is weaning? appeared first on Breastfeeding World.

When I found out I was pregnant, I was not ready for becoming a mother again .

I had and have some very tumultuous feelings about being a Mom of four. DO NOT GET ME WRONG, I adore my baby girl. She really is a doll. I just never thought that I would be a mother of an infant again. This- combined with a few other factors- attributed to my battle against postpartum depression (PPD).  Primarily, mine manifested itself in the form of anxiety, but it may also look like depression, post-traumatic stress disorder, or obsessive compulsive disorder to others.

According to Postpartum Support International  15 to 20% of women will suffer from postpartum depression.

That’s a significant number and I don’t believe PPD is given enough attention, nor are there enough resources provided. I had an absolutely terrible experience throughout this journey trying to find a therapist to treat or talk through these feelings with. In searching, I didn’t find one who actually dealt specifically with postpartum depression. Also adding the hurdle of insurance- and who accepted what was another frustration. Eventually, after three months of frustration, I gave up my search. I recommend that any woman who believes they are struggling with PPD seek professional help.

Nursing MJ behind the scenes of the Indiana Black Breastfeeding Coalition’s IBE booth

Breastfeeding has helped and hurt my journey through postpartum depression.

During my anxious and keyed up moments, sitting down to nurse my MJ became my refuge. Getting still, the release of oxytocin, and her satisfied smile do wonders to calm me and give me a mood boost. Nourishing her at my breast has been vital to keeping me connected to her, life, and motherhood.

On the flip side; when MJ has me on boobie island, it puts me out of my mind with frustration. All those thoughts about how I didn’t want another baby come flooding back. I get upset thinking of all of the things I planned at this time in my life. Plans which now need to wait, or take an insane amount of time to complete. I tell myself that with each passing day she grows older. She will not always need me so much. This too shall pass. This is sometimes the only thing that gets me through the day.

Journaling has been the other outlet to get me through this time.

I spend time exploring what I’m feeling and asking a lot of questions. Writing in my journal helped me to figure out some of my triggers and why they bother me. I have been a mother since I was seventeen years old.

The one that made me a mother.

I have literally given my entire adult life to my children.

I figured out that I was ready to spread my wings a bit more. Be selfish. I’ve burned myself out by over giving of myself. I haven’t taken a vacation. Ever. I now know that I should have worked harder earlier on to find a healthy balance. But being a young mother I felt like I had to prove that I was an excellent mother. I know for a fact the illusion of “good mothering” is what gets some of us so caught up in the whirlwind and before we know it we are all anxious, sad, and empty.

Our children need us.

However, we also need us. I am learning how to become my own superhero first. The better I get at focusing on myself, the less anxious and sad I feel. I am a work in progress. If you take nothing else from this post; know that you are to alone. Get some help, grab a journal, and keep nursing that baby!

Some great info about full term breastfeeding or “extended breastfeeding” http://www.llli.org/ba/feb01.html

Be sure to join us in our social media accounts to be up to date with the progress of our project!

And… Don’t forget to share your brelfies using our HT #BreastfeedingWorld 

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Joi Barnett

Joi is a Believer, wife, mother, entrepreneur, and artisan, who has a passion for educating and empowering women holistically. Using family and women’s health as a focus, Joi has built an all natural soap business and doula practice to serve the needs of her community. She lives and loves in Indiana with her husband and 4 children.

The post My Truth and Journey Through Postpartum Depression appeared first on Breastfeeding World.

Understanding the layers of loss and challenges of mourning can help you embrace the depth of your grief.

When a baby dies, parents can experience a grief so profound, they wonder how they can survive it. If you’ve experienced the death of a baby, it’s normal to worry about your sanity. It can help you to acknowledge the many layers of loss and special challenges that can affect the course of your mourning. Layers which can make a baby’s death so very difficult to endure. Understanding why this is so hard can affirm your baby’s importance and validate the depth of your grief.

You may experience some or all of the following losses and challenges.

Death is taboo in our society

Rather than being seen as an inevitable and natural part of the cycle of life, death has become something we consider scary and distasteful—even disgusting—and best avoided. As a result, most people feel uncomfortable with death and dying. They don’t want to think about it, much less talk about it. When a baby dies, it is especially unthinkable and unspeakable. Unfortunately, this leaves bereaved parents alone and adrift, which only adds to their suffering.

A baby’s death violates expectations

Modern medicine and standards of living have greatly improved the prospects of having a healthy pregnancy and giving birth to healthy baby. As such, expectant parents are not likely to seriously consider the possibility that their baby may die, particularly after the first trimester of pregnancy. This assumption accompanies the belief that by “doing all the right things,” guarantees a healthy baby.So when a baby dies, the parents’ expectations are cruelly violated.

A baby’s death is a traumatic bereavement

Trauma happens when you experience an emotionally painful event over which you have no control, and it leaves a lasting imprint on your brain—and your life. A large part of what makes a traumatic experience is that everything is okay. But then suddenly, and unexpectedly, it’s not. So when your baby dies, the road of recovery is long, winding, and hard.

The weight of responsibility

Particularly as the mother, you may wonder about what you did or did not do that might have contributed to your baby’s plight. As the father or the mother’s partner, you may wonder what you could’ve done better to protect your baby or ward off this tragedy. All of these normal feelings originate from the natural and biological urge to protect your children. Particularly if you hold tight to the common belief that you have control over what happens to you, these feelings of responsibility can contribute to painful feelings of guilt.

Feelings of helplessness

It is normal for the mother to feel betrayed by her body’s inability to create or sustain a healthy baby or an uncomplicated birth. Your baby’s death can also undermine a sense of being masterful and able to fix anything or solve any problem. Many fathers, in particular, feel this keenly. Feelings of helplessness also go against the grain of an accomplishment-based life, and may contribute to a sense of failure or loss of control.

A loss of innocence and faith

When your baby dies, it makes you realize that bad things can happen to good people. You don’t have total control over your destiny, and you cannot shield your children from death. For many parents, a baby’s death triggers a crisis of religious faith or they may struggle with the senselessness of it all. You may also feel anxious or angry as you face your new knowledge that you are vulnerable to tragedy.

A loss of identity as a parent

When you found out you were pregnant, your identity as a parent to this baby began to form. When this baby dies, you have to figure out what it means to be a parent to a child who is no longer with you. Particularly if you don’t have any other surviving children, you may question whether you’re still a mother, or still a father.

Feeling uncertain and unsure of yourself

Before your baby died, you may have seen yourself as emotionally sound, responsible, in charge, and invincible. Now you must develop a new identity. Allow yourself to feel distressed, confused, unmotivated, and vulnerable. You may also have to redefine what it means to be a woman or a man—or an adult. Your role as a friend and family member may change too, as you may find it impossible to deal with the seemingly endless stream of new babies in your social circles. And if you quit your job, because you anticipated staying home with your baby, you may feel uncertain of your financial role, your career, or what to do about it. Finally, you may wonder about “trying again”. You may feel uncertain about whether or when to have another baby.

Feelings of isolation

You may feel abandoned by friends and family members who don’t understand your grief or your need for support. People may avoid the topic as they don’t want to upset you by asking about your baby or how you’re really doing. Some may feel so uncomfortable or unsure about how to behave that they simply avoid you. Even your midwife, doctor, or nurses may feel awkward and uncertain about how to broach the topic of your baby’s death or how to support you in your grief. As a result, you may feel like you’re the only one who remembers or cares about your little baby.

Not enough time spent with your baby

When the length of time spent with the infant is brief, coping with a baby’s death becomes particularly difficult. When you never or barely get to know your baby after birth, you may feel cheated. Cheated of the chance to learn about this child’s special qualities, or fully express your love and devotion. If you were blocked from spending sufficient time with your baby before death or before relinquishing the body, these are other losses to bear.

A lack of memories and mementos

Your baby’s brief life also means you had few opportunities to gather memories and mementos, which are important to the bereaved. When you have few memories or mementos, you may find it challenging to validate your baby’s existence, acknowledge your baby’s importance, honor your bond, and experience a more gradual goodbye. And when the “hello-goodbye” is so abrupt, this can add to your trauma and complicate your grief.

A lack of mourning rituals

Many parents are not sufficiently encouraged to engage in rituals of mourning. Spending time with the body, arranging a funeral, attending the burial, making formal public announcements of the death, and recognizing a mourning period—all of these rituals are designed to support the bereaved. Traditional rituals- taking the body home for many days, having a home funeral, and green burial are becoming more prevalent, but these rituals take time and run deep. This is at odds with fast-paced, skate-on-the-surface, modern societies. As such, these rituals are often denied, overlooked, or minimized- especially when a baby dies.

A loss of a part of your future

Not only do you grieve for your baby, you also grieve for your lost visions of parenthood. The moments you had looked forward to—parental leave, family gatherings, and holidays—can seem worthless or trivial without your baby. If you preferred to have all your children by, say, age thirty-five, or spaced a certain number of years apart, the death of your baby might mean that your family isn’t what you imagined. If you anticipated the birth of twins, triplets, or more, you will grieve for the lost chance to raise multiple babies together. And your baby’s death represents a missing branch of the family tree as you consider the prospective generations that might have been. All of these deficits in your future make it particularly painful to get on with your life. In fact, your baby’s death puts you on a different path.

 You can grieve and survive the death of your baby

As you identify and affirm your layers of loss, challenges, and trauma, please know- your baby’s death is a huge deal. You may feel deeply affected. Also, while your layers are unique to you, you share much common ground with other bereaved parents. You are not alone. And in spite of all these barriers and difficulties, you can grieve and survive the death of your baby. Just as other parents grieved before you. Indeed, you may find it immensely comforting to read about the experiences of other bereaved parents—or seek out their company, which can serve as a lifeline to you.

Read more about grieving, coping, and surviving the death of your baby:

https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/laugh-cry-live/201610/9-compassionate-tips-surviving-the-death-your-baby

Sources of bereaved parent support:

http://nationalshare.org/

https://pailnetwork.ca/

http://sands.org.nz/

http://www.sands.org.au/

https://www.uk-sands.org/

Experience the healing that comes from telling your story—or reading the stories of others:

http://carlymarieprojectheal.com/capture-your-grief-2016

https://grievingdads.com/tell-your-story/

Deborah L. Davis, PhD is a developmental psychologist and writer who has authored several books that support parents who’ve experienced the death of a baby. She is most well known for Empty Cradle, Broken Heart: Surviving the Death of Your Baby (the much-awaited Third Edition comes out November 1) and A Gift of Time (with Amy Kuebelbeck), which supports parents who seek perinatal hospice after receiving a life-limiting prenatal diagnosis for their baby. Since 2011, she’s been blogging for Psychology Today, where she writes about resilience, including coping with perinatal bereavement. http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/laugh-cry-live

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A photography project founded in late 2014 by Alexia Garcia, photographer a Alegares Photography. Breastfeeding World aims to promote breastfeeding and encourage new moms to nurse their babies through the art of photography and story telling.

The post When a Baby Dies: Why is this so hard? by Deborah Davis, PHD appeared first on Breastfeeding World.

The world around you moves on, as if your life was never shattered, and all you want the world to say is that your baby mattered.” – AJ Clark-Coates

 Pregnancy Happiness

Generally, birthdays for me are a time of sadness. I usually feel very lonely, because I live so far away from family. However, I felt so happy for my birthday this time. My birthday felt joyful because I was carrying our second child. I was 11 weeks pregnant. When I found out I was pregnant with our first planned pregnancy, (our 3 year old daughter being a happy surprise) my partner and I were delighted.

The day after my birthday, I started bleeding heavily. The hospital did not want me to come in on a Sunday. They said if it was a miscarriage, then there was nothing they could do.

I went in to hospital the next day. They did an internal scan to confirm our loss. The loss devastated me. Oddly enough, they couldn’t find anything in my womb at all. It took a week of numerous scans for medical staff to eventually discover my baby had taken up root in my left fallopian tube. I was carrying an ectopic pregnancy. The staff was shocked when I told them I didn’t experience a single ounce of pain. They scheduled me for surgery the following day. However, my tube ruptured and I was bleeding internally so they rushed me into emergency surgery.

The Following Couple of Weeks Blurred By

My friends disappeared (I assume as they didn’t know what to say). My partner was dealing with his own pain, and could not recognize our loss as the loss of a child. His family remained equally distant.

Seeking Comfort

 Two months later we found out we were pregnant again. Unfortunately I struggled to feel excited for this new life while still mourning my loss. That year, doctors diagnosed my daughter with type 1 diabetes only days after my son was born. It led me to suffer from post natal depression, something I still cope with now.

I wish people were not so afraid to talk to me. It’s what I needed. I hate to think of all the other women going through losses who feel deserted and alone after.

Learn more about this series, a letter from the Breastfeeding World Team

Join us in Breaking The Silence

[col1]Robyn’s Story[/col1]

[col2]Becca’s Story[/col2]

[col3]Megan’s Story[/col3]

[col1]Anika’s Story[/col1]

[col2]Janice’s Story[/col2]

[col3]Randi’s Story[/col3]

[col1]Olivia’s Story[/col1]

[col2]Tasha’s Story[/col2]

[col3]Maegan’s Story[/col3]

[col1]Liz’s Story[/col1]

[col2]Mandi’s Story[/col2]

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Be sure to join us in our social media accounts to be up to date with the progress of our project!

And… Don’t forget to share your brelfies using our HT #BreastfeedingWorld 

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Lauren Lewis

Lauren Lewis is no stranger to childcare development, having spent over 10 years as a nanny or family childcare provider. She’s the wife of a travel geek, mother of two vivacious children, and has an amazing talent for trailing lost things behind her a la Hansel and Gretel. Her passion for lifting up women and advocating for children pours out in her work as a Central Indiana Event Coordinator, Writer, and Social Media Relations Director for Breastfeeding World. Her life is full of busy, crazy and LOUD. It is full of love and hope, ups and downs. And coffee, always lots of coffee- but she wouldn’t have it any other way.

www.raisinglaurenslittle.wordpress.com

The post “I wish people were not so afraid to talk to me”- Tasha Peters’ Pregnancy Loss appeared first on Breastfeeding World.

My community has been recently rocked with the news of the death of a two month old. Her father has been accused of shaking his two month old daughter. He is officially being charged with her death. The mothers work place is holding a fundraiser to pay for the funeral. The community is devastated. In all the news articles and Facebook comments I have read, not one has approached how preventable Shaken Baby Syndrome is. Amid all of the pitch fork toting- cries, not a note of help. Not a single article gave a resource for parents who are at their wits end and dealing with the very typical period of purple crying.

What is Shaken Baby Syndrome?

The mayo clinic describes shaken baby syndrome:

Shaken baby syndrome … is a serious brain injury resulting from forcefully shaking an infant or toddler.

Shaken baby syndrome destroys a child’s brain cells and prevents his or her brain from getting enough oxygen. Shaken baby syndrome is a form of child abuse that can result in permanent brain damage or death

The fact of the matter is, babies have large heads and weak necks. So infants necks cannot properly support their heads. To explain, the head size of an infant is approximately 1/4 of their body mass- compared to the 1/7th of their mass in adults. If a baby is shaken, their fragile brain moves back and forth in their skulls, causing bleeding, swelling, and bruising. frequently, this can result in death.

Symptoms of Shaken Baby Include:

• Cool, pale, or blue skin
• Poor feeding or vomiting
• Weakness, sleepiness, or difficulty waking your baby
• Blood or blood spots in the eyes
• Bulging soft spot on your baby’s head
• Seizures or coma
• Trouble breathing or slow breathing

So frequently, we live in a “it can’t happen to me” world. Certainly we don’t want to believe our child will every be hurt. Abused. Damaged. Killed. However the truth of the matter is, it happens. And it happens much more frequently than we ever expect. Abusive Head Trauma (AHT), or another term for Shaken baby syndrome, isn’t just a crime. It’s a public health issue.

Nearly all victims of AHT suffer serious, long-term health consequences such as vision problems, developmental delays, physical disabilities, and hearing loss. At least one of every four babies who experience AHT dies from this form of child abuse. (Taken from the CDC Website)

Preventing Shaken Baby Syndrome

So what can be done? First, the biggest steps we can take, as family members, neighbors, friends, and caregivers, is to watch out for each other. We are our village. By All means, lets educate ourselves. Let us BE the nosy neighbor. Be the loving friend. There is not a parent alive who hasn’t reached that point where you just feel lost. Every nursing new mother knows what it feels like to feel touched out, exhausted, and like you just aren’t enough. Certainly, you ARE enough for your child. Your baby will be ok. First, keep your baby safe. Ultimately, keep yourselves sane. Walk away and catch your breath. Then find your village and reach out. Chances are, we have been there too.

Child abuse happens in every walk of life, every educational and socioeconomic background.  Ultimately, do not assume that because someone comes from an educated background, or seems like “good people” that they aren’t falling apart behind closed doors.

If you see something, say something

Know the signs. The mother in the local news story came home from a surgery, saw her baby napping, and went to lay down. However, not knowing the signs, she did not know to  speak up or take her baby in for care right away. Provided that she knew the symptoms of Shaken Baby, the information and quick action could of saved her baby.

Know your caregiver

Inform. Be certain that the person caring for your child knows it is safe to lay the child down in a crib and walk away if the screaming gets too much. Make it clear that they have a resource- you- and not to be afraid to reach out.

Be supportive. Let your friend, neighbor, sister, brother, know that the period of purple crying is normal. That they are not doing anything wrong and it will get better soon. Don’t just offer help. Be there. So many new parents are afraid of coming across like they don’t know how to take care of their child so they don’t reach out. Be the safe place for them.

Speak up. If you feel a child you know isn’t getting the care they need. If you know the signs of AHT, don’t hesitate.  Listen to your gut. If you see a parent friend who seems over tasked, worn thin, step in, say something. Better an unnecessary investigation or a damaged friendship than a permanently injured child.

Purple Crying in the fourth trimester is NORMAL.

Shaken baby syndrome is PREVENTABLE.

Take a Break, Don’t Shake

Perhaps now is the time we put down the pitch forks. Moreover, now is the time we stop judging each other. Here, now- this is the time to start reaching out, offering support, being a friend. It’s easy to judge. It’s easy to spout out on social media. To click a share button, or add a horrified emoticon on a post is easy. However there is a much more difficult task- to climb out from behind our smart phone, to take an exhausted parents hand, to look them in the eye, and say- “How can I help?”

Finally, let us embrace our online village. Tell us about a time you felt lost on your parenting journey. What helped? How did you cope? Has someone you know been touched by Shaken Baby Syndrome? Was it preventable?

Don’t forget to like, share, and comment! Let us know what you think by following our social media outlets on Instagram, Twitter, and Facebook!

Lauren Lewis

Lauren Lewis is no stranger to childcare development, having spent over 10 years as a nanny or family childcare provider. She’s the wife of a travel geek, mother of two vivacious children, and has an amazing talent for trailing lost things behind her a la Hansel and Gretel. Her passion for lifting up women and advocating for children pours out in her work as a Central Indiana Event Coordinator, Writer, and Social Media Relations Director for Breastfeeding World. Her life is full of busy, crazy and LOUD. It is full of love and hope, ups and downs. And coffee, always lots of coffee- but she wouldn’t have it any other way.

www.raisinglaurenslittle.wordpress.com

The post Purple Crying & Shaken Baby Syndrome; Pt 1 appeared first on Breastfeeding World.

Sharing this article is super exciting for us but first let us tell you more about our guest author. We reached out to Andrea after seeing her lovely pro-breastfeeding pictures on her Instagram account: @andreachecketts

Tips and tricks to deal with Post-Partum Hair Loss

That luscious hair you gained while being pregnant was due to the increase in estrogen levels, after the baby is born, your hair begins to shed from the drop in estrogen levels. I’ve seen this time and time again over the past 6 years of doing hair; most girls are shocked by it, as their Doctor’s/nurses didn’t prepare them for this part in their post-partum journey. So, they come to me begging for a quick fix or something to help the post-partum hair loss.

I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but honesty wins all and post-partum hair loss is a real thing, that doesn’t just go away with a quick fix. Most often it shows up between 6 weeks and 3 months and ends around 8 months post-partum (although I have seen it happen sooner and longer). Once again: it’s caused by the drop in estrogen levels after you’ve had your baby, it is a natural process.

Here are the best ways to hide/help it, but not necessarily any quick fixes:

• Vitamins: Ask your Doctor about your latest blood work to find out what you may be deficient in, and supplement this with a daily dose of whatever was missing. Your Doctor also may prescribe a strong dose depending on how low you might be. Check with your Doctor every time you start taking anything new, of course.
• Do not stop your prenatals: This can lead to deficiencies if you stopped taking it, and it’s recommended to continue prenatals while breastfeeding so keep at it.
• Eat the foods you are deficient in: don’t just rely on your daily dose of pills. An example, if you are low in iron, you would need to eat extra leafy greens, meat, beans, and lentils. Having a balanced diet is super beneficial during your post-partum period.
• Treat your hair right: Do weekly deep conditions (my favorite deep conditioner is by Brazilian Blowout, called the “Acai deep conditioning masque” -find it on Amazon for about $20). Just put it on in the shower, shave and do whatever else while letting it soak and then rinse with cool water. This closes your hair’s cuticle, keeping the conditioner in your hair longer.
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• Along with treating your hair right, avoid heat and coloring your hair if at all possible. I know this one is SO hard but is crucial to letting those baby hairs grow out without disturbing them. It is summer, so braids and grown out roots are in. If you do decide to use heat, always use a heat protectant prior to.
• Stimulate your scalp: Get a hard bristle brush (great ones at Sally’s) and rub it back and forth on your scalp in one-inch sections! This helps to stimulate more hair growth and even though you might only have baby hairs growing back, that is still progress. You can also buy one of those head massagers that will do the trick too (or have a friend/husband rub your head). The hard bristle brush also helps to flake off any dead skin, and therefore also allows new hair growth.
• Think about taking Biotin: I swear by this for hair growth. It is a derivative of a B vitamin and is great for growing out your hair and nails. Take the maximum dose daily (10,000mcg) if possible. Make sure you check with your Doctor first before taking it.
• Take a breather: Time for yourself is SO important during post-partum. By reducing stress, you can help to eliminate excessive post-partum hair loss. So take that bubble bath, get that pedicure, and let family watch over the baby for a couple hours.
• Change the look: If you can’t stand the little baby hairs right around your face, consider bangs! Either side swept or straight across can be a great alternative to hair spraying them every day we all do it!
• Avoid hair spray: This is very drying to your hair and most times doesn’t even help the baby hairs lay down. If they are driving you absolutely nuts, try using clear mascara. Still not the best for your hair, but better than hair spray.

You can reach out to Andrea directly by visiting her blog or dropping her a comment on Instagram @andreachecketts

Disclaimer: We strongly advice you to check in with your doctor before trying out any medication or homemade remedies. It’s always best to be safe than sorry.

We would love to hear from you: How did you cope with Post-Partum Hair Loss?

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A photography project founded in late 2014 by Alexia Garcia, photographer a Alegares Photography. Breastfeeding World aims to promote breastfeeding and encourage new moms to nurse their babies through the art of photography and story telling.

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