Hopefully you read my blog last week that highlighted many of the questions I got from people when I told them I was having a homebirth. There was a question that I felt deserved it’s own post…and that question is: “Why I chose a homebirth?”
Let me start by admitting to you that I always have to do things differently than other people. It’s not something I necessarily try to do, I just always have. From planning my hot air balloon wedding to giving birth at home, I always find a way to make “traditional” things a little more…”me“. I also always fully educate myself on things that directly affect my life. So of course, once I committed to a pregnancy, I needed to learn all about it! What was going to happen to my body? What was labor going to be like? I definitely knew I wanted an all natural birth, but I also knew that those hospital bed birth videos scared the hell out of me.
I honestly cannot remember where I first read or heard the term waterbirth but I do know that I was immediately intrigued. “The midwives epidural” was suddenly all I could read about. For twenty-four hours my cell phone was glued to my hand. I did not eat, I did not sleep, I read. I read article after article, supporting and skeptical, and watched video after video of water, home and hospital births. I knew I needed more information before I proposed this idea to my fiancé and family but I also knew right away that I was NOT giving birth in a hospital. A part of me wondered what kind of crazy you had to be to chose a hospital bed over the birthing pool. The women in the waterbirth videos were always so relaxed and, dare I say?… comfortable! So once I knew that this was what I wanted, I needed to figure out HOW? How do I tell my fiancé and family that I want to have my baby at home? How do I tell my OB that I want to switch to a midwife? How do I get my family on board? Can we afford this?
My first move was to get my facts straight. I had over 10 links that included stories, statistics and videos to share with my family before they had the chance to shut me down. I also had names and phone numbers of 3 midwives within the appropriate range of my house. So about forty-eight hours after I first saw the term “waterbirth” I was ready to propose the idea to my fiancé. I decided my plan of action would be to show him, rather than tell him. So, as we were laying in bed, I pulled up a hospital bed birth video on YouTube and told him,
“Babe, watch this video of this birth in a hospital! This is what is gonna happen to me!?!?”
Of course he was not too excited to see this video but I needed him to in order to be able to smoothly then go ahead and say,
“Okay..how horrible does that look?! But now watch this video…it’s a home waterbirth… wait ’til you see the difference!”
He knew by my excitement that this is what I had been obsessing with on my phone for the past two days. And lucky for me, he was immediately on board. I sent him all of the links and he also began reading on the topic. It didn’t’ take him more than an hour and a few videos for him to say,
“Whatever you want babe – I trust you. I think you are crazy…but I support you.”
And THAT is just one of the many reasons I am so in love with this man!!
Next would be convincing my family – but in time (some took weeks, some months) they all not only supported me but were bragging to all their friends and coworkers that their daughter/sister/friend was planning a home waterbirth!
My mother (right) and mother-in-law (left) happily waiting to meet their granddaughter
Obviously a few videos of waterbirths were not the only reason I chose a homebirth. I read many birth stories from women that had homebirths that truly inspired me. I read Ina May’s Guide to Childbirth and I swear it changed my life! But I also started learning about hospital statistics and interventions and everyday of my pregnancy I became more confident in my choice. I learned that having a low-risk pregnancy in a hospital did not mean you were safe from unnecessary cesareans, episiotomies, vacuums and forceps, IV liquids, starvation, limited mobility, fetal monitoring and much more. I learned that epidurals can lead to complications during and long after labor. I learned that a homebirth would allow me to eat, drink and move freely at my own pace and on my own terms. I learned that intimacy and relaxation can go a long way during labor – and a bright room with strangers and loud noises did not sound like a place where I would be able to feel those things. I knew at home I would be comfortable which would lead to a better, more relaxed birthing experience for me.
Halfway through my 28 hours of labor! Relaxed and comfortable!
Lastly, I chose a homebirth because of my wonderful midwives. I did not feel like a patient, but a friend. I did not feel like I had a “doctor’s appointment”, but a nice visit. I did not feel scared of labor, but excited and ready. I never left a visit feeling uncertain or worrisome. I never felt like a bother with my midnight, 5:00 AM, or dinnertime calls/texts to them with my questions. I felt encouraged and a part of a community where I knew I belonged. There was never a doubt in my mind that this was the right way for me to give birth.
My midwife supporting me through a pressure wave
Did you feel confident in your birth plan? Is there anything you wish you knew then that you know now? Let me know!
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I am a 27 year old first time mom who lives in New Jersey. I had an all natural planned homebirth with the help of water and the self-hypnosis hypnobabies method. I am currently a stay at home breastfeeding mother to my beautiful baby girl and I’ll be sharing with you all some personal experiences and covering some other interesting topics, stay tuned.
I think this would be a more impactful post if it were told without disparaging those who made a different choice than the author (“A part of me wondered what kind of crazy you had to be to chose a hospital bed over the birthing pool.”). There are numerous reasons why one might choose to give birth in a hospital, and if the author doesn’t understand that, she’s maybe not quite as informed as she thinks.
It’s important to be open-minded and consider others’ perspectives in addition to your own. One of my three children was born with a severe medical issue that, had a neonatal intensive care unit not been IMMEDIATELY available to her at birth, would have killed her. At that moment, I was beyond thrilled to have chosen a hospital for my birthing location.
Congratulations on the healthy birth of your daughter and on making the choice that was right for you! I think most pregnant women and mothers are just trying to do the best they can for themselves and their children. 🙂
The saying you quoted was something I said in my head about how I felt after watching videos. It was not to bash any hospital birth or other women. If you read my first post and understood my tone of reading you could realize I had gone through A LOT of people calling me crazy for the way I gave birth and my point exactly is that I did what was right for me. It is obviously not for everyone and that was never implied. Thank you.