In today’s world, most moms (including me) look more like jugglers than any other thing. Balancing a marriage, a household, and work seems chaotic from a “non-mother” point of view. In fact, if you ask us how we do it, the answer could be: “I don’t know!”. But when it comes to breastfeeding, schedules and some routines are not helpful at all. Then managing all the “modern life situations” (that are actually EXPECTATIONS), breastfeeding seems difficult to “fit in”. Then I ask myself: “Why breastfeeding always has to be the ‘bad guy’ in the movie?” The truth is that either you breastfeed or not, motherhood is a tough journey, but with the most gratifying results.
So, if breastfeeding is not the isssue… then what is?
The way life has changed for women the past hundred years has determined a “socially accepted” pattern of mothering, yet it goes against the thousands of years of evolution that as mammals we have had. Parenting on the earlier days was held by an entire community, tribe, or extended family. The “mothering skills” were passed from mother to daughter. Women used to observe from their own family members how to take care of their children. When the time came for women to become mothers, it was quite easy. The social expectation was that a mother had to be with her child . This expectation was beyond the “social acceptance”: it was how we have survived and evolved. For hundred years, it seems we have forgotten about the vulnerability human babies have, how they grew literally attached to us in our wombs for 9 months, and their dependance to their mother in all aspects of their lives.
Nowadays women have awesome ways to manage everything by themeselves. Breastfeeding is part of the mothering “set of skills” that some of us have to manage, “too”. But if we look at it from the “mother” point of view, it’s a matter of setting priorities. Breastfeeding works when women commit to it.
Sure, women need to work, have a professional career, and look gorgeous (I mean it!), feeling good about themeselves, enyoing their successes, moving foward, but when it comes to being a mother, you can make a check mark on all those expectation, because you’ve become all of the above to that little baby of yours.
To make breastfeeding work these days, women need to feel confident that they CAN do it and enjoy their babies. The illusion of control will go away, once you start cherishing every second of that bonding time with your little one. Thinking that a child will only be a baby for a year its enough excuse to let the laundry unfinished for a day. Making breastfeeding work also depends on your creativity. Ask those working moms that breastfeed how they make it through their day. Their different life situations may help you get through your the day (or night). It’s true that life is not perfect, but you can make your breastfeeding a more enjoyable time when you give yourself the time to understand and get to know your precious angel.
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