The first two weeks of breastfeeding are definitely the hardest. You  are learning how to take care of a new baby, how to take care of  yourself and recover from birth, and learning how this all changes  your family dynamic. While I am not an expert, and I am not a  lactation consultant, I have successfully nursed 3 children within the  past 5 years. I am not claiming to know everything and I do not want  you to take my advice over a pediatrician or lactation consultant.   Continue reading for how to survive the first two weeks of  breastfeeding.

“Just make it past the first 2 weeks of breastfeeding.” I heard that  over and over during my first pregnancy in 2014. I would then ask  myself, what do they mean the first two weeks? Isn’t it suppose to be  natural and easy? I told myself my body would know what to do.  However, it wasn’t quite that simple. Every breastfeeding journey is  different. My second wasn’t the same as my first, and neither were the  same as my friends.

Breastfeeding has a way of making a woman feel empowered and capable.  It is miraculous. But it can also be exhausting and hard. It can lead  to beautiful moments and WTF moments. It is learning journey that you  and your baby are on together.

The 9 obstacles to overcome the first 14 days of breastfeeding.

1. Learn how to breastfeed.

What positions your baby likes, what  positions you like, what are your babies feeding cues, and what are  their feeding rhythms. Getting a deep latch can be difficult but making a “boob sandwich” can help. Do this by taking your hand in a C shape around your nipple. Touch your nipple to your baby’s upper  lip/nose to get the baby to open wide and shove as much of your boob in.  Each baby will be different. Learn to trust your instincts and do what  works for you and your baby.

2. Get your mind right.

For me that meant I had to know that  everything wasn’t going to go the way I planned, and I needed to be  okay with that. Follow your baby’s lead. If baby acts hungry feed  him/her. There is no such thing as overfeeding a baby in the beginning.

3. The after-pains.

During breastfeeding after having a baby, you will experience minor contractions in your uterus (while uncomfortable at times, it is not nearly what your contractions during childbirth felt like. I promise). When you breastfeed, your body releases oxytocin. This is the same hormone that causes your uterus to  contract. This will continue until your uterus is contracted back down to pre-pregnacy size.

4. Day/Night schedule.

Babies usually have their nights and days mixed up in the beginning. In the womb you were up and active all  day, giving baby the perfect rocking motion to sleep away. At night  your baby became more active when you were resting on the couch after a long day. Their brains stay in this pattern after birth. You can  help your baby with this process by being in sunlight during the day and keeping things quiet and dark at night.

Making a “Boob sandwich” to help with getting a deep latch for Breastfeeding. First Baby-April 2015

5. Day 2/3.

Whew, this one is BIG. Your hormones are all out of wack,  you are trying to learn how to take care of a new human, you might be  in pain, and you just want to sleep. This is the stage when you might cry (I did!) and maybe even question if you know how to be a mother.  The thing is–you don’t and you don’t have to. Being a mother,  breastfeeding, parenting; all of it is a learning curve. Its  continuing education. (If you are feeling down, its OKAY. Ask for  help. Postpartum blues can turn into postpartum depression/anxiety. It  is real and it is OKAY and NECESSARY to ask for help).

Determined to breastfeed? Check out 5 Essential Breastfeeding Tips here.

6. Milk milk milk.

When your milk comes in (it is different for each  person, but usually between days 2-5) your breast swell and they hurt.  They are full. Your body doesn’t know how much milk your baby will  need so it over produces during this time. It often becomes difficult  for your baby to latch because of the swelling. You can express a little to soften your breast enough for the baby to latch. The most  important thing for you to do during this time is keep the milk moving. You can do that by breastfeeding, hand expressing, or pumping.  If your breast do not feel soft after nursing your baby, hand  express/or pump. It is important to get your breast soft (not  necessary to be empty) to hopefully avoid engorgement and mastitis.

7. Nipple soreness is real.

Nipple soreness is normal, but there is a  difference in nipple soreness pain and nipple pain that continues.  Your nipples are being pulled, sucked and stretched in ways they never  have been. It is normal to feel a slight discomfort at the beginning  of a feed, but it shouldn’t last longer than 30sec and the rest of the  feed should be comfortable. Any pain that makes you want to cry out, pain that lasts an entire feed, broken skin, or pain that  happens in between feeds is not normal, but can be fixed. You do not  have to suffer through it.

8. Stressing over if your baby is getting enough.

This is a HUGE worry of most moms (myself included). It is distressing to not know how much  your baby is taking in. A baby’s belly is the size of a marble when  they are born, so it doesn’t take much to fill them up in the  beginning. In the beginning, before your milk comes in, you will  produce colostrum (or should I say you will produce MAGIC?!) It is  highly concentrated in nutrients for your baby. A few ways to tell if  your baby is getting enough milk are: you can see your baby  swallowing, weight gain (after the first few days–you will see a  loss), and wet diapers (what goes in, must come out :)) Using a log  can help you keep up with how long you are breastfeeding and what your  baby is peeing/pooping out.

9. The first growth spurt.

Around the 10-14 day period you and your  baby may be in a good routine, but wait- your baby is about to go  through their first growth spurt. You will question everything you have learned about breastfeeding. You will question your milk supply.  Your baby will want to be at the breast ALL. THE. TIME. This is  normal. I repeat, this is normal. This is your baby’s way of telling  your body to up the milk production. Keep putting baby to breast as  much as possible. This will pass. 1.

If you have made it past the first two weeks, you have overcome so  many obstacles. You are AMAZING. If you are still struggling, please  reach out to someone. It is never too late, or too early, to ask for  help.

The First 2 Weeks Of Breastfeeding For Me

Vincent- First Child

The first two weeks with my first child were pretty difficult. He  didn’t want to suck, he wouldn’t wake to feed, he fell asleep nursing,  he lost weight…..IT WAS A STRUGGLE.

We went to the lactation consultant 4 times within those first two weeks. I cried. I was mad. I  was tired. BUT I kept pushing through. I woke up every 2 hours around  the clock for the first two weeks. Did you know that the time you  start breastfeeding is when you start your 2-hour timer? I didn’t!  

Example- we started feeding at 9am- he wouldn’t/couldn’t suck and  would fall back asleep so it was 10am before he was done feeding in  the beginning. I had 1 hour to catch up on sleep, or shower, or eat  and then it was back to the same routine again. It was HARD. We went  on to successfully breastfeed for 15 months.

Alexia- Second Child

My second child was ALWAYS waking up hungry but she was a huge spitter and my nipples HURT. The first thing we figured out was that she was  tongue tied. She wasn’t getting a good latch due to the decreased range of motion of her tongue.

Therefore my nipples were destroyed and  she wasn’t transferring well. (For my nipples I used all purpose nipple ointment and soothe pads). After getting her tongue tie fixed,  she was still a HUGE spitter. I am talking at the very least 1-2 oz of  milk came back up.

My pediatrician didn’t believe me when I would tell  her that she would spit it over half of her milk so she sent us to the lactation consultant where we did a weighted feed. Sure enough she spit up and we weighed again. She had lost over half of what she took  in. We tried reflux medication, cutting the top 8 allergens out of my  diet, seeing a GI specialist and even a swallow study (a few months  later).

I was so incredibly worried the first few weeks of her life. I  had milk, she was getting it, but she couldn’t keep it down. We went  on to successfully breastfeed for 13 months.

Callum-Third Child

My third baby, has been the easiest as far as breastfeeding. Not  because this is my third time around, but because he could suck and he kept the milk down. However, my milk didn’t come in until day 6! He would nurse and nurse and nurse every hour it felt like. He was actually gaining weight, but the doctor kept asking me if my milk had come in.

I hadn’t gotten that engorgement feeling yet, and by day 5 I  had started to worry. Finally it came in and all was well. He  preferred the cradle hold on the left, so getting him to nurse on the  right side we had to work at but we did it. We are still breastfeeding  at 7 months now <3.

I know I am lucky with all three of my breastfeeding journeys compared  to some, but I am so proud of us. I am proud of the mama who tried but it just didn’t work. I am proud of the mama who is taking it day by  day. I am proud of the mama who has been breastfeeding for 19 months.  I am proud of the mama pumping around the clock because latching just isn’t working out. I am proud of YOU.

Were the first two weeks hard for you? What helped you get through them? Let me know in comments!

The post Breastfeeding: What to expect and how to survive the first two weeks appeared first on Breastfeeding World.

We’ve all seen the movies- a young, gorgeous couple has drunk sex, conceives a baby effortlessly, woman goes into labor and channels all of her discomfort at her husband- yelling and cursing at him, “YOU DID THIS TO ME”. Then baby is born (magically already clean and swaddled) and the parents share a knowing look, sweet kiss and eventually a loving slow dance at 2am in the living room while rocking their quiet, sleeping infant. Hmmm…

That’s a lot to unpack- however there’s one thing in particular that irks me the most.

I don’t remember ever lovingly slow dancing in the living room at 2am. I remember cluster feeding in the dark while my partner slept. I remember pacing the bedroom, rocking the baby while she cried- endlessly, thinking, ‘wow, HE can really sleep through a n y t h i n g’.

So I wonder, am I the only one who hated my partner after I had my baby?

I didn’t hate him all the time; and certainly at varying degrees throughout the day (the highest degrees overnight). I didn’t tell him I hated him- and I didn’t tell anyone who came over to visit. But boy, did I feel it.

Max & Alyia Cutler, one day into marriage

A question many people have but don’t ask is, “Will I ever stop hating my partner?”

Yes, the odds are likely you will eventually stop hating your partner. Especially with first babies, there is a long, confusing, often treacherous terrain learning curve. And to add insult to injury, you and your partner are probably on different curves, traveling at different paces. You may be parenting on instinctual cues and gut feelings and your partner is getting advice from friends, books or blogs. Or you are up all night breastfeeding, cluster feeding, pumping, rocking, swaddling, and your partner is sleeping better than the baby…(just the thought gives me mini palpitations)

Either way, this too shall pass. Too cliché? But its true! Eventually your learning curves meet at a rest stop and share a huge reunion hug. For some it takes around 12 weeks, for others around 12 months. Yes, that’s a big difference. But yes, everyone is different!

The key to shifting your curves in similar directions is two fold: Communication and Surrender.

The first is toted as the key to a happy relationship in general. Got a problem? Talk about it. Have a question? Ask it. Need help? Say it. No exceptions!!

The second can be a bit more subtle. Surrendering is a constant practice. Rooted heavily in self-talk. Reminding yourself that it won’t ruin everything to try something your partner suggests. And it won’t be the end of the world to let your partner take the baby for a bit so you can take a nap, eat something, shower, walk outside, do anything, really. Surrendering to the idea that you can let someone else try something their way, or help you in a way you hadn’t considered can be magic. There’s a reason you chose your partner originally- right? Surrender. Be gentle on yourself and your partner and see what happens.

You may find you hate them a little less… or not…

Disclaimer: ‘Hate’ is a strong word. I use it a bit ‘tongue in cheek’ and the reality is, there are a lot of very big feelings swirling around during pregnancy, childbirth and postpartum. Hate is often used to talk about feelings of resentment, confusion, exhaustion- all common after having a baby. However, if you notice you’re feeling that and/or down, sad, miserable, anxious most of your day, please know you can change that. You deserve to feel good- call a therapist, talk to someone you trust, get support. Same goes for your partner

Be sure to join us in our social media accounts and be up to date with the progress of our project!

And… Don’t forget to share your brelfies using our hashtag

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The post New Mom Confessions: Will I Ever Stop Hating My Partner? appeared first on Breastfeeding World.

Modesty was the Key…at first

With my firstborn, my son, I was afraid to nurse anywhere except the privacy of my own home or car…and sometimes, I felt the need to be in my bedroom. Okay, admittedly the bedroom thing was for more selfish reasons. I loved the opportunity to escape for a few moments of quiet and solitude with my baby. We couldn’t use a nursing cover because we had latch issues, so the overwhelming fear of being exposed led me to isolate myself. I would leave the room at family functions, at restaurants, in church, you name it, I went to hide. Though, I never went as far as to nurse in a bathroom. Towards the end of my son’s first year, I began to open up a bit. I was pro-breastfeeding and felt empowered that I was doing something that I felt so passionately about.

Fast forward to 21 months after my son’s birth, to the birth of my daughter

I had a few serious complications that made the first few days of breastfeeding nearly unbearable, but I was determined to succeed a second time. We needed a lot of help in the first few weeks post-partum and I didn’t care who saw what. Simply, I only cared that my daughter was nursing and getting what she needed. After I healed from the complications, I was left to tend to my 21 month old son, our then 10 year old and a newborn, while my husband worked. I found myself more confident in my choice to breastfeed, and would feed my little girl whenever she was hungry regardless of where I was. I nursed her while wearing her during shopping trips (oh the looks!). In the middle of a sermon at church, I nursed her. I nursed her while eating dinner at family gatherings. I carried my head high and was met with little verbal protest. Lots of funny and ugly looks, but I laughed at them. I still laugh!

Latch, Letdown and the Pain

My son had a tongue tie that made the first few weeks painful and challenging. The tongue tie was corrected, but, the pain did not disappear. I remember sitting in tears, thinking that I couldn’t do it any longer. I couldn’t take the pain, I was failing my son. Okay, let me be straight, if you cannot continue your breastfeeding journey for ANY reason,

YOU MOST CERTAINLY ARE NOT A FAILURE!

One of the Breastfeeding World bloggers wrote a beautiful article titled, “Motherhood: When Breastfeeding Doesn’t Work Out“. Go read it, then come back and finish this one.

Now that I’ve said that, it was an emotional battle for me. We used nipple shields and all sorts of things to try to make it better. In time, the pain subsided except the occasional letdown tingle.

When my daughter was born, I felt armed and prepared for the latching, the letdown tingle and the pain. Or so I thought. I did have a pretty good handle on the various positions for achieving a comfortable latch and the let down tingle wasn’t a shock to me, but the pain still came. This time, I knew that if I could power through, it would subside and it did. It took a little longer than with my son because of my daughter’s uncorrected lip tie. Sheesh, I learned to loathe the word “tie”.

Weaning

I didn’t have a specific amount of time that I wanted to nurse my son, so long as I made it beyond one year. When my son was 14 months old, I found out we were expecting another little bundle of joy. I tried super hard during the first few months of pregnancy to continue nursing my son, but my nipples were so sensitive and it turned into an unpleasant experience for us both. Weaning him was super hard and heartbreaking. But it had to be done.

When he weaned the world didn’t end

There was no meteor strike that destroyed hundreds and hundreds of miles of landscape and caused mass tragedy.

For round 2, I decided I didn’t want to wean until I had to, or she weaned herself. I remember the night she self weaned like it was yesterday. She was 12 months, 1 week old and she refused to nurse for her nighttime feeding. I was devastated and cried and whined. The world didn’t end then either. It was disappointing to be done, but also relieving to know that we had moved on to the next chapter in our story.

Baby Blues…or Post-partum depression

When I found out that I was expecting for the first time, I was taking an anti-depressant. I stopped immediately as I wanted to have as natural and chemical free of a pregnancy as possible. I managed fairly well emotionally through-out the pregnancy, and due to the chaos that was returning to work and pumping, the baby blues were not as strong.

After the birth of my daughter, I began to feel sad, mad and upset, ALL the time. I had horrible thoughts and said horrible things. At the time, I blamed it on situational stress since there was a lot going on in our home at that time. In hindsight and after hearing other testimonies, I believe I suffered from un-diagnosed and un-treated post-partum depression. It was a dark and scary time for me.

Since then, I have decided to verbalize my experience and help other moms that may also be struggling

Breastfeeding World has an amazing team of bloggers that have shared their experiences with post-partum depression. Head on over to the Blog and check out the variety of encouraging and helpful blogs by our diverse team of moms.

Have you found that nursing your second, third, fourth, etc child was different from your first? Comment below with how you experiences have been different! I can’t wait to hear your stories!

Be sure to join us in our social media accounts and be up to date with the progress of our project!

And… Don’t forget to share your brelfies using our hashtag

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The post What Breastfeeding Taught Me appeared first on Breastfeeding World.

Being a mom of two little humans, overcoming the burden of postpartum depression, and sharing my journey with many moms along the way, I’ve discovered a few ways you can surmount that unease and anxiety that naturally follows when you even think of leaving your baby.

Work out a schedule

Much like with all responsibilities in life, we neglect some that are not perceived as priorities. The same goes for those that are not among our parenting duties. Of course, your baby will always be a priority! But, a healthy baby spending time with your partner is no reason to worry, hover or panic. If only someone had told me that when we had our first baby girl, and I felt guilty for leaving her with her dad for a single afternoon!  

Instead, create a mutual schedule that includes so-called “baby-free” activities that will prepare you in advance, so that those negative emotions cannot overwhelm you. A routine will also help you cope with anxiety through exercise, pampering, or other relaxing activities that your body craves after days spent caring for everyone other than yourself.

You can start will a smaller amount of time, then slowly increase it as you ease yourself into the schedule. As you move along, share your feelings with your partner and don’t be afraid to ask for support.

Share the baby duties

Your partner may feel left out or pushed aside when it comes to your baby time. You might not even realize this, if you’re too anxious and thus focused on your little one. How about starting slow and inviting your partner to take part in those daily chores, such as bathing, changing or feeding?

Nowadays, some dads are able to take paternity leave to spend more time at home and be with you and the baby. This makes for a perfect opportunity to bond and strengthen the emotional connection among you as a family. One of my most precious memories is that of our son’s first giggle during a bubble bath!

Make lists

As silly as it may sound, lists are excellent, yet marvelously simple ways you can better manage your time. Use them to chart out your expectations, your needs both as a woman and a mom. This goes for your partner’s needs as a parent as well. Of course, don’t forget to note down everything you feel your baby needs.

As you go over those lists together, you can be confident that your partner’s time with the baby isn’t a reason for anxiety. That’s why I always feel at ease knowing that our little bundles of joy will have a bottle, a couple of warm pram blankets and diapers for every walk or alone time with dad. Preparing ahead and sharing these concerns will gradually help you let go of that unpleasant feeling. And, you’ll enjoy motherhood even more.

Adjust your expectations

Parenting roles have numerous differences. But, perhaps you and your partner’s parenting styles have different variations, which might contribute to your anxiety. First, it’s essential that you accept healthy differences and not try to impose your parenting style. Then, you can move on to talking it out with your partner, because learning about one another can improve your attitude and help you feel better.

Allow for a learning curve and imperfections. Because, no matter how hard your partner tries, they will likely fail to live up to all of your expectations. There is no room for perfection in a learning process. You can both share your opinions and wishes in order to give each other what you need, while also gaining a deeper understanding of your behaviors.

Design your me-time

In addition to that much-needed schedule, that will help you adapt to sharing baby time and devoting time to your own needs and other duties, you should always make room for stress-relieving techniques and methods that will help you cope.

My personal favorite was to do yoga twice a week. It restored my self-confidence and gave me peace of mind. Many moms enjoy a brisk walk in the park, reading a good book, or a girls’ afternoon out for shopping or chatting. The purpose of this non-parenting time is to relieve you of your pent up negativity, fears and worries.

Give yourself time to adjust to your role as a mom. Don’t be scared to explore all the stress-relieving activities you can introduce in your life. Asking for professional advice and guidance is also a valid option! Every mom should have the opportunity to live anxiety-free and joyfully share the earliest, most precious days of her infant’s life with her partner.

Be sure to join us in our social media accounts and be up to date with the progress of our project!

And… Don’t forget to share your brelfies using our hashtag

#BreastfeedingWorld

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The post How to Overcome Anxiety over Delegating Parenting Duties appeared first on Breastfeeding World.

Although our little bundles of joy do make us happy, many new moms find themselves dealing with postpartum depression in addition to many demanding responsibilities motherhood entails. I was no exception.

While there is no single strategy that solves this problem overnight, a few healthy habits can make a huge difference in helping you cope with postnatal depression. 

Babywearing is in fact one of them!. 

Such a simple behavior has an endless list of benefits that can help you overcome this severe issue by nurturing your mind back to health and promoting your baby’s and your own well-being.

1. It builds an emotional connection

During the first several weeks as a mom dealing with postpartum depression, you might experience difficulties connecting with your newborn.

In cases of traumatic conceptions, difficult pregnancies or complicated births, a mom can be even more affected by the lack of emotional closeness with her baby. This is where babywearing is surprisingly helpful. It allows you to feel your baby’s heartbeat, sense their every wiggle and the physical closeness that it provides will slowly create a natural emotional bond, which you will be able to nurture and cherish even further.

2. It gives you time to rest and recuperate

As your baby gets used to the new environment, you will most likely not be able to get a full hour of uninterrupted sleep for weeks. Preparing a meal without jumping to every sound your baby makes can leave you completely drained.

Dealing with postpartum depression only adds to this feeling of overwhelming exhaustion.

It makes it almost impossible to enjoy your role as a mom. Babies that are worn in slings and carriers actually become less fussy and they have a lower tendency to cry when they wake up.

Your constant touch and warmth will soothe the baby giving you plenty of time to rest in a comfortable armchair or even make a tasty meal to replenish your strength and energy.

3. It allows comfortable breastfeeding

Sometimes even the most experienced moms have trouble getting their newborns to latch on. Depression can only amplify the feelings of anxiousness and frustration.

For instance, I had trouble finding the right position to breastfeed my restless baby girl and my lack of energy only made it worse. When I started wearing my baby in a comfortable safe pouch, every breastfeeding session turned into an intimate bonding experience.

If you are new to babywearing like I was, make sure to check out other moms’ experiences. Reading their reviews on forums and social media will help you make a decision. Also, making sure to research everything about baby carriers online can be extremely helpful. 

Relevant factors such as material, durability, adaptability and size, will help you find the most suitable carrier for you and your baby.

4. It allows you more “Me-Time”

Depression in any form numbs your motivation to care for yourself. Postnatal depression is no exception. 

Spending all of that time caring for your baby is a perfectly natural desire but if you completely disregard your needs, that will easily affect your mental well-being in the long-run.

Moms that opt for wearing their babies on a regular basis, on the other hand, have much more time and freedom to tend to their own needs.

With my hands free and my baby sound asleep cooing on my chest, I quickly become more confident and relaxed. This has given me more time to practice self-care. Whether it is putting on some makeup, doing my hair, having a long-awaited phone call with my best friend or just reading my favorite book, devoting time to myself has done wonders for my emotional health.

It has encouraged a positive state of mind.

5. It nurtures your baby

Babywearing has been like a partner in my role as a mom.

It supports your baby’s physical development. All the way from hip and back strengthening  to healthy sleeping patterns. It helps you get more attuned to your baby’s body language and cues so you can react more quickly and efficiently when your child is hungry or needs changing. Since it also soothes the baby and ensures a secure, healthy attachment, wearing your baby will provide you with a peace of mind that would otherwise seem impossible. 

Motherhood is challenging enough as it is. Having a mom overburdened with symptoms of postnatal depression can be very risky for both her and her baby.

In addition to seeking help from a medical professional, every mom can try to do her best by implementing simple, healthy habits that will help her cope with depression. I can safely say from a personal experience that babywearing is one of the best choices you can make to ease yourself into your new role and enjoy motherhood from day one.

Love this post? Make sure to pin it!

We would love to hear from you. How has babywearing helped your motherhood journey?

Be sure to join us in our social media accounts and be up to date with the progress of our project!

And… Don’t forget to share your brelfies using our hashtag

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The post 5 Essential Ways Babywearing Helps you Deal with Postpartum Depression appeared first on Breastfeeding World.

If you’ve ever ran an actual marathon or even just a short race, you know that physical strength and endurance is only half the battle. It takes a great amount of mental muscle, determination, perseverance, and willpower to finish a race. Being a mom not only requires all of the above, but also a total shift and transformation of her entire identity, and she will need all of the mental strength she can gather in order to wherewithal the changes and blossom through the motherhood journey.

Living in the Western World, our culture, talks a lot about mothers and their postpartum bodies.

You read about “How to Get Your Body Back” and “How to Love Those Tiger Stripes.” You see Celebrities flaunting their bikinis just weeks after birth, and you keep reminding yourself about the airbrushing. You hear about your mommy friend’s new meal plan and workout program. The messages are everywhere we turn. Now, there is certainly nothing wrong with promoting physical health and strength to mothers, but I think we can agree that there is certainly a lack of balance when it comes to promoting wholeness.

There’s no shortage of information and resources available to mothers who want to improve their physical health and physique, but what about maternal mental health? I’m not just talking about awareness related to perinatal mood disorders, like postpartum depression and anxiety, etc. I’m also talking about the mental fortitude and strength that it takes to have a healthy, happy, and sound mind while mothering. Even mothers who do not struggle with any form of mental illness lack necessary skills for being mindful.

The reality is that we need more resources- and more talk- about mental wellness.

So, in an effort to build up the mothering mind, I’m going to share 3 helpful tips that all mothers can apply to their daily lives that will improve their mental health. (Keep in mind that there are many more than just these 3, but 3 are a good starting place.)

1. Check Your Thoughts.

There’s nothing more frustrating for a mother than when she is playing with her children, enjoying her time with them, and suddenly be interrupted by a negative thought that affects her mood and state of mind. You don’t want to waste energy on thoughts that are counterproductive to what you are doing or wanting to accomplish. Most people believe every thought that they ever have is true, but this is simply not the case. If you can pause and quickly evaluate your thoughts more often, especially the ones that bring up strong emotions, you can begin to weed out the ones that are simply not true and move on.

Here’s the deal, we are our own worst critics, and we can easily ruminate or mull over negative thoughts concerning ourselves, which can then lead us to think critically of others including our spouses, our children, and our friends, which will only drain mental strength and tear down our closest relationships. For those thoughts, the ones tied to strong emotions and that do ring true, give yourself permission to stop thinking about it in the present. Decide on a more appropriate time when you can spend more mental energy figuring it out. Thinking about your thoughts,may sound odd. But building an awareness of how you think will help you change your unproductive or unhelpful thought patterns, which will lead to changes in how you feel and behave.

2. Practice Gratitude.

At times, we as mothers can get caught up in comparing ourselves to other mothers. Have you ever heard of ‘mommy wars’? Well, the real battle is within ourselves. We might look around and feel like we don’t measure up to certain standards. Thoughts and feelings such as jealousy, or frustration, or inferiority can surface and drain our mental energies. Such toxic emotions can also ruin relationships and isolate us. So, in order to help keep your thoughts in check, replace negative and untrue thoughts with grateful ones. In this way, you will help build up resiliency.

An attitude and mindset fixed on gratitude is a great way to keep your life in perspective.

Many people feel surprised by how much better they feel when they spend more time thinking about the things they are thankful for, instead of focusing on what they do not have. In fact, there are many benefits outside of psychological ones that are worth practicing gratitude for. It doesn’t take too much effort to come up with at least one thankful thought, once you get the ball rolling. Before long, you will discover that you have filled your heart with appreciation and your mind filled with happier thoughts. The tune you carry within will be felt by your children. Naturally, they are acutely attuned to your attitude. Just remember, happy song, happy mom.

3. Be Compassionate Toward Yourself.

Do you ever feel like you just keep missing the mark? Maybe your expectations of what motherhood should be are constantly being shot down? As mentioned earlier, we can be our own worst enemy. And if we are hard on ourselves,then we are likely to treat our family and friends in a similar way.

A mother’s standard is usually set pretty high. And though there is nothing wrong with this, an expectation that is unrealistic can cause frustration and some mental fog. Mom might feel like she has to do everything herself and she may have a difficult time asking for help. The secret? Self-Compassion! Set realistic goals, and love who you are by being gracious and kind to yourself. Accept the fact that motherhood is messy and beautiful. Forgive yourself for your mistakes. Remind yourself that you are doing your very best, and that is all you need. Loving yourself will help keep you mentally strong for whatever trials come your way.

So, as you can see, the work that we do with our minds is similar to how we train our physical bodies. It takes time, consistency, and work to build those mental muscles. We must be intentional about rewiring our thought processes; they don’t just happen on their own. Though it may not be easy, the evidence give us hope and encouragement to change our old way of thinking for something new and refreshing. Being a mentally strong mom simply allows us to enjoy our motherhood journeys more. You are worth it.

Be sure to join us in our social media accounts to be up to date with the progress of our project!

And… Don’t forget to share your brelfies using our hashtag

#BreastfeedingWorld

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The post 3 Ways to Become a Mentally Strong Mom appeared first on Breastfeeding World.

Right?

First night together, falling in love.

Yes. Yes to the unconditional love and feelings of motherhood…but sometimes these feelings can be overrun, enveloped by darkness.

Most people have heard of Post Partum Depression, maybe even seen it first hand. Mothers may become depressed due to chemical imbalances in the body. Your hormones have been through it all over a short nine months and the changes in lifestyle, body, sleepless nights (I could go on) can wreak havoc on these imbalances. While so many have at least heard of Post Partum Depression, Post Partum Anxiety is a condition that often goes unnoticed.

Anxiety is not a nice thing, but anxiety with a newborn is pure evil.

Fears that you never knew existed can bubble up to the surface of your mind. Once you begin to fear deeply at such a vulnerable time, it can quickly roller coaster out of control. For the first 6 months of my daughter’s life, I had severe fears and anxiety. The foremost fears I felt; a fear of dying and a fear of her being kidnapped.

My fear of dying seized my mind.

It was all I thought about during those long hours of the night while I nursed her, rocked her and laid beside her. I had heard of women fearing the death of their newborn or their partner, which of course, I did feel as well. But, I did not obsess over it. I obsessed over my own death. Sometimes I would picture dying from a disease, but mostly I was fanatical over outrageous circumstances. I would fear that I would fall down the steps and she would be alone, crying, until my fiancé got home hours later to find me. I visualized myself slipping in the shower with a similar demise. There was a car accident on my only 2 hours away from her that week, being murdered by a delivery man.

These horrible thoughts plagued me all day long. I would cry, thinking about all the things I would never teach her; the fact that she wouldn’t even ever remember who I was. It tore me apart.

As she got older and I discussed with my midwife and fiancé what I was feeling.

I thought I was recovering.

My dreads began to reach beyond the immediate future. What if I died when she was 7, or 10, or 15. What would that do to her? I tried to talk about it. I reached for ways to push these menacing thoughts away.

When my daughter was four months, I began to venture out with her alone. I heard a story of a mom who was followed into a bathroom at a Kohl’s in New York. A mother, just like me, was changing her baby in the restroom. A woman came in, checked the stalls to be sure that they were alone and complimented the mother and her child. Suddenly, the woman demanded the baby. Luckily, this mother’s intuition, her gut, told her that something was wrong. The mother escaped with her child and found help. Thankfully, the woman was caught, along with a man who planned the attack with her.

Well that was it for me.

Trigger.

I could not go to Target, WalMart or the grocery store without thinking I was being shadowed. It became so merciless that I called my fiancé on a few occasions, telling him that I was being followed. Around the store, to the car, anxiety was all around. I felt everyone was watching me. I felt danger everywhere we went. My gut, my intuition was misleading me. It was always telling me that something was wrong, but there wasn’t.

Unfortunately, the fears did not end when we got home. I could not shower during the day while we were home alone. I tried. But, I could not even take a shower without the crippling terror that she would be gone from her swing when I got out. And yes, I have a monitor. These fears were irrational, they were unforgiving.

Why did these feelings leave me?

I wish I knew, I wish I understood so that I may help someone else. There is one thing that I do know, I know that I did everything wrong; I waited way too long to bring it up to my midwife and I did not talk about it with family and friends. The fear of sounding insane ruled me. And because of that, I did not seek medication, I did not seek help when I needed it most.

I need you to know that you are not alone.

Please know that whatever you are going through, there is someone out there who is with you, feeling the same. The smallest news story of a parent dying or a kid being taken would ruin me. So, I can tell you that you are NOT insane to feel ANY fear, as wild as the scenario may seem. SEEK HELP. You need to be healthy to enjoy your little one; you deserve happiness instead of dread.

I am currently 6 months pregnant with my second child. About 2 months ago my fear of dying came back. The tear filled, sleepless nights returned. As my toddler and fiancé slept soundly, I looked at them with so much love and so much fear to leave them too early.

After three long nights of this, I decided that I would be proactive. That I would do it right this time. Talking about it right away to my fiancé and my midwife has made all the difference.

I pray that I have the tools and support to conquer any reoccurring or new fears that may come after the baby is here. But, I know I will not feel frightened to ask for help. I will be proactive; I will look for the signs. Through my research in finding natural ways to combat anxiety, so I may continue to breastfeed; I have found many women who say that their encapsulated placenta has made a world of difference for them. After the birth of our second child, I plan on encapsulating my placenta because I got nothing but fear and anxiety to lose!

Educate Yourself

I encourage all pregnant and new moms to educate themselves on both PPD and PPA. Know the signs. Tell your support team what to look for. And talk about every fear, depressing or harmful thought you come across. I hope that anyone reading this will know in the future to seek help, or someone currently, will know, they are not alone.

Be sure to join us in our social media accounts to be up to date with the progress of our project!

And… Don’t forget to share your brelfies using our hashtag

#BreastfeedingWorld

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The post Postpartum Anxiety: My Invasive Fears and Thoughts appeared first on Breastfeeding World.

When I found out I was pregnant, I was not ready for becoming a mother again .

I had and have some very tumultuous feelings about being a Mom of four. DO NOT GET ME WRONG, I adore my baby girl. She really is a doll. I just never thought that I would be a mother of an infant again. This- combined with a few other factors- attributed to my battle against postpartum depression (PPD).  Primarily, mine manifested itself in the form of anxiety, but it may also look like depression, post-traumatic stress disorder, or obsessive compulsive disorder to others.

According to Postpartum Support International  15 to 20% of women will suffer from postpartum depression.

That’s a significant number and I don’t believe PPD is given enough attention, nor are there enough resources provided. I had an absolutely terrible experience throughout this journey trying to find a therapist to treat or talk through these feelings with. In searching, I didn’t find one who actually dealt specifically with postpartum depression. Also adding the hurdle of insurance- and who accepted what was another frustration. Eventually, after three months of frustration, I gave up my search. I recommend that any woman who believes they are struggling with PPD seek professional help.

Nursing MJ behind the scenes of the Indiana Black Breastfeeding Coalition’s IBE booth

Breastfeeding has helped and hurt my journey through postpartum depression.

During my anxious and keyed up moments, sitting down to nurse my MJ became my refuge. Getting still, the release of oxytocin, and her satisfied smile do wonders to calm me and give me a mood boost. Nourishing her at my breast has been vital to keeping me connected to her, life, and motherhood.

On the flip side; when MJ has me on boobie island, it puts me out of my mind with frustration. All those thoughts about how I didn’t want another baby come flooding back. I get upset thinking of all of the things I planned at this time in my life. Plans which now need to wait, or take an insane amount of time to complete. I tell myself that with each passing day she grows older. She will not always need me so much. This too shall pass. This is sometimes the only thing that gets me through the day.

Journaling has been the other outlet to get me through this time.

I spend time exploring what I’m feeling and asking a lot of questions. Writing in my journal helped me to figure out some of my triggers and why they bother me. I have been a mother since I was seventeen years old.

The one that made me a mother.

I have literally given my entire adult life to my children.

I figured out that I was ready to spread my wings a bit more. Be selfish. I’ve burned myself out by over giving of myself. I haven’t taken a vacation. Ever. I now know that I should have worked harder earlier on to find a healthy balance. But being a young mother I felt like I had to prove that I was an excellent mother. I know for a fact the illusion of “good mothering” is what gets some of us so caught up in the whirlwind and before we know it we are all anxious, sad, and empty.

Our children need us.

However, we also need us. I am learning how to become my own superhero first. The better I get at focusing on myself, the less anxious and sad I feel. I am a work in progress. If you take nothing else from this post; know that you are to alone. Get some help, grab a journal, and keep nursing that baby!

Some great info about full term breastfeeding or “extended breastfeeding” http://www.llli.org/ba/feb01.html

Be sure to join us in our social media accounts to be up to date with the progress of our project!

And… Don’t forget to share your brelfies using our HT #BreastfeedingWorld 

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The post My Truth and Journey Through Postpartum Depression appeared first on Breastfeeding World.

At 9:45 am moms from all around New York City, New Jersey and Philadelphia started to congregate in front of the TKTS steps in the heart of Manhattan, Times Square to partake in the most historic and iconic breastfeeding celebration in the Big Apple, Breastfeeding World’s Big Latch On.

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“I had such a great time at the event surrounded by a group of awesome women! I have to say my favorite moment was when we were all told to latch on, the wave of emotion that came with that was amazing.” – Marisa Cabrera Borda

This year, as previously announced, Breastfeeding World united forces once again with the Global Big Latch On. At 10:30 am our 105 nursing mothers latched on joining thousands of women all around the world in a synchronized breastfeeding session that lasted one entire minute. Pumping and hand expressing moms where also welcomed.

Breaking last year’s record…

Photo by: Alegares Photography

Back on August 1^st, 2015 Breastfeeding World held it’s very first Big Latch On in Times Square. With only three weeks of planning Alexia Garcia, Breastfeeding World’s creator and founder, together with her dear friend Lisa Maloney, Breastfeeding World volunteer, and a group of volunteers gathered 69 moms who breastfed their little ones and over a 100 breastfeeding supporters.

This year we broke our local record! This year we gathered a total of 303 breastfeeding supporters including: 105 breastfeeding moms & 101 children latched. 

“This was my first time attending a latch on and I can’t believe the feelings of togetherness, strength, and love that I felt. I met so many wonderful people. The highlight for me was the actual latch, I was holding back tears because it was such an empowering moment to just feed my baby and not worry about what anyone would say or if anyone was looking and being judgmental. To be surrounded by mamas doing the same thing plus the encouragement by the advocates and friends was just awesome! We had a blast! Thank you for normalizing breastfeeding and community love!” – Sonia Figueroa

“This was my second time attending the big latch on in Times Square and I can’t say how happy and empowered I was to be amongst all these amazing breastfeeding women and advocates. When women gather and support each other, care for their children and all children, we are creating history and a more peaceful world.” – Sandra Laura Shanbhag

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Sharing the Breastfeeding Love…

For this 2016, Alexia Garcia decided that it was necessary to take Breastfeeding World’s iconic events to those smaller communities where breastfeeding is loved but not highly celebrated.

On August 5^th, 2016 Alexia and her Breastfeeding World volunteer team hosted their very first Martha’s Vineyard Big Latch On & on August 6^th, 2016 together with our own Lauren Smith, Breastfeeding World’s volunteer Editor & writer, we hosted our very first Hamilton County’s Big Latch On in Indiana. Together in all three events we contributed with over 600 breastfeeding supporters who were counted towards the Global Big Latch On totals.

Make sure you stop by our article highlighting Hamilton County’s event Here

2016’s Advocacy Outreach Program

Our goal as an online community of support is to be able to provide the resources our parents need this is why this year, Alexia Garcia developed the Advocay Outreach Program which was put into effect in all three locations.

Local prominent birth professionals were hand picked by the Breastfeeding World organizing team and invited to join our Tri-State Family Picnics.

A few of our Advocates during our Family Picnic in Bryant Park – Photo by Alegares Photography

In NYC our families had our team of Advocates discussing topics such as: postpartum depression & baby blues, breastfeeding counseling and education, proper methods for babywearing, evidence based birth education, (name topics)

• Corazon Gambino – Certified Birth & Postpartum Doula
• Leigh Anne O’Connor – IBCLC & LLL Leader
• Alicia Wilson – Sleep Training Specialist
• Renee Pizzuto – Certified Holistic Doula, Evidence Based Birth Educator
• Simone Toomer – Certified Birth & Postpartum Doula, CLC & Doula Educator
• France Webb – Hand Expression Specialist
• Krista Rizzo – Proactive Parent Coaching
• Marta Ginter – Certified Babywearing Consultant, CLC & Birth Doula
• Te-Anna Souffrant – Certified Doula
• Liz Chang – Certified Lactation Counselor

Breastfeeding World Advocates right before the Big Latch On started

Breastfeeding World would like to thank the NYC birth professionals for their support to our cause and for making Alexia’s idea come to life.

A day to remember…

After our historic Big Latch in Times Square our group of 300 breastfeeding supporters head over to Bryant Park for yet another couple more hours of fun. We had our Family Picnic – A real Breastfeeding Celebration.

Dan Cantonese – The Music Man

Nursing mamas and their families came together to enjoy a beautiful sunny day in NYC, with the participation of “Dan the music man,” Daniel Palase, one of the most amazing musicians we’ve gotten to know, he had both kids and parents dancing, everyone was up and following his lead.

Bubbles were also a great addition to our family gathering, thanks to “The Bubble Dad,” the one and only Chris Catanese who made all the kiddos jump in excitement all day long.

“I had tons of fun!!! This was our first latch on and it was completely amazing!!! There where so many wonderful mommy’s out there today. One of my favorite parts was the way you all set up at up at the park with all the info handed out while the music for the kiddies played.” – Tanya Rodriguez

Breastfeeding World’s Family Picnic wouldn’t have been the same without these amazing guys so Thank You. 

“Bryant park was fun, It was so much fun socializing with other like-minded families, and to see so much breastfeeding & babywearing in one location. It’s an amazing feeling to mingle, support, and feel supported by so many women at different points in their breastfeeding journey. This was a very memorable day.” – Anat Keinan

Followed by a super fun raffle, moms, dads, children and volunteers kept on enjoying their amazing day together with us. Another great hit of the day was the unique Breastfeeding World tattoo by Lissette Paz – Glitter Madness

Special thanks to Alexia Garcia’s team over at Alegares Photography: Christian & Marlon Garcia (Yes, her  -amazing & super supportive- brothers) for capturing the day through your artistic eyes. 

Last but not least, thank you to our Contributors & All Star Donators who made this year’s event unforgettable for everyone!

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NYC Gold Contributors

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NYC Silver Contributor

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Bronze Contributors

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All Star Donators (Companies that donated to all three events!) 

[left]Bessies Best: Lactation Cookies

Earth Mama & Baby

Fine & Dandy Pins

The places you’ll feed – Lauren Belden

Sally Weans from night nursing – Leslie Mitchell

Maven Clinic

Tiny Beans

Silverette USA

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Frida Baby

Blend & Bend Organics

Bamboobies

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Join us in remembering this amazing day, enjoy a few pictures below taken by Alexia Garcia and her team at Alegares Photography.

Be sure to join us in our social media accounts to be up to date with the progress of our project!

And… Don’t forget to share your brelfies using our HT #BreastfeedingWorld 

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The post 300 breastfeeding supporters took over Times Square appeared first on Breastfeeding World.

A common theme in all of my posts is Love, Gratitude and Respect for your body.  When it comes to working out after baby is born, focus on gaining strength and reawakening energy, instead of losing inches.  I’d like for you to let go of the idea of “bouncing back” to your pre-baby shape.  I don’t know of any woman who’s body is the same as it was before baby. *guess what* It’s not supposed to be!  You’ve transformed in the most beautiful way.  The idea that our bodies are supposed to be the same after we’ve been through the most life changing experience is not realistic.  So, beautiful momma, be kind to yourself and lets find more love, acceptance and gratitude for our bodies and what they’ve created!

Let go of the idea of “bouncing back” to your pre-baby shape!

As you get back to boosting your energy and mood, consider incorporating cardio and strength training.  Cardiovascular exercise is not just great for your heart, it increases your metabolism, and provides that boost of exercise induced endorphins.  These “feel good” hormones can help combat symptoms of depression which are very common after birth.  Strength training helps support your body as baby grows and becomes heavy to carry around all… day… long… It can also improve your balance and coordination.  You’ll be grateful for this as you discover the juggling act that is motherhood.

The intention and goal behind our workouts in this new season of our lives is Love.  So, first and foremost, explore what fitness programs or types of exercise you actually enjoy! <– Hello!  You should look forward to working out, not dread it. You CAN love your workout, I promise.

Here are a few of my Post-Baby Fitness tips to discover this love of fitness and overall wellness…

• Grab a buddy. This is a key ingredient in staying committed to any sort of regularity with your fitness and wellness goals.  Coordinating your workout with your fitness buddy holds you both accountable.  Plus, catching up with your bud always makes life better.  Maybe you and your friend schedule a day every week or every other week to cook together or share a new healthy recipe.  Having this person to check in with on a regular basis will dramatically increase your chances for success.  We’re in this together!
• Love your body, love your workout.  Here’s a thought, may I suggest you don’t run if you absolutely dread it.  Don’t force yourself to take that spin class if the thought of climbing on that bike stresses you out.  If you feel you need a little more happiness in your fitness routine, do not return to that instructor’s class who screams “encouragement” while putting your body down in a backhanded way.  You deserve way better than that, gorgeous.  Test out different classes, gyms, indoor/outdoor programs, mom’s fitness clubs, online programs.  There are plenty of options, find what works for you and you’ll look forward to working out!

• Walk it out. Simple.  It’s lovely to get outdoors and take baby for a walk in the stroller.  If you live up north, like me, it’s chilly or downright freezing right now.  You may still be able to do this if the temps haven’t dropped too much.  Bundle baby up in that cute knit hat you got as a shower gift and cozy up with a snuggly blanket, maybe throw on your YakTrax. (Northerners, these treads that attach to your shoes or boots are a must for outdoor workouts in the winter, or just safely walking on snow and ice.)  One of my favorite ways to walk with baby when it gets cooler outside is to wear them.  Whether you use a wrap like the Moby or a carrier like the Ergo (with newborn insert,)  Call your girlfriend, get outdoors and walk.  Breathing in fresh air does WONDERS for a new mom.

• Schedule it in.  We book everything else in our lives, do you incorporate fitness into your weekly planner?  If you make that date with your fitness buddy (or yourself,) you’re more likely to stay on track.  Make this a priority as much as those doctor appointments, business meetings, play dates, and pedicures.  You can do it!
• Register for a race.  There are races of all levels of difficulty.  From a 5K run/walk, 10 or 30 mile bike race or a swim event in your area, you can certainly find a fun and healthy challenge.  When you register for a race, you’ve committed in a different way towards your post baby fitness goal.  That race date on the calendar, plus the added registration fee both hold you accountable, along with your fitness buddy.  So, sign up!  I can guarantee you will not regret crossing that finish line!
• Power to the sticky note.  Instead of hanging a picture of a celebrity in a bikini (photoshopped) or a picture of yourself from college or your wedding day, how about writing something inspirational on a sticky note that you’ll see each day.  A little note that says, “I am strong.”  “I am beautiful.” or the date of the race you’ve registered for.  Keep your head in a positive, healthy, inspiring place, versus the critical and hurtful commentary that too often plays.  We each do it, but we can change these patterns within ourselves.  Remember, begin with love.  And write it on a sticky note. *wink*

Still nursing?  Check out my tips for Postpartum Exercise and Breastfeeding here.

I hope you soon find a balance that works for you.  Remember to begin slowly and cut yourself some slack when you need extra rest, a day (or week) off.  With regular commitment, you’ll begin feeling your energy returning and mood boosting.  Starting is the hardest part, so keep moving, mommas.  You’re on the right track!

We would love to hear about your fitness goals for this year! Please comment below to stay accountable!

Be sure to join us in our social media accounts to be up to date with the progress of our project!

And… Don’t forget to share your brelfies using our HT #BreastfeedingWorld 

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The post Post Baby Fitness: Begin with Love appeared first on Breastfeeding World.

One Mother’s Story: How to Cope With Motherhood when Breastfeeding Doesn’t Work Out

The Haviland Family- Kati, Vivian and Jared

My first five months postpartum were some of the darkest days I’ve ever experienced. As a person who had long wanted a child, I had a completely different vision in my head of how motherhood would be but reality kicked me in the ass quickly:

My husband and Mom were there to coach and help me through the pain of delivery. I had asked for an epidural halfway through labor but I kept being held off because the on-call midwife “didn’t want me to set myself up for a C-section.” I was angry because I felt as though she wasn’t taking my pain seriously. When I finally got an epidural, of course I was fully dilated, so I pushed for nearly 4 hours only to end up needing an emergency C-section anyway. I was beyond exhausted and I just wanted my baby to be safe and healthy.

The first two days in the hospital I was in a lot of pain but I was managing. Vivian and I were working on breastfeeding with the help of a lactation consultant, and my husband, Jared, would help when she wasn’t there. It wasn’t easy and hurt like hell but I had hope that it would improve as time went on. By the third day Vivian had jaundice so instead of going home she was sent to the NICU for light therapy. I was devastated.

There is no worse feeling than seeing your baby hooked up to a million wires and not being able to hold her. I cried and cried and cried, not just from the stress of seeing her in that state, but from the physical pain my body was in after such a grueling labor and delivery. Breastfeeding started to become very difficult at this point for us. I knew I had plenty of milk supply but Vivian was crying and struggling to latch and I was crying out of pain and frustration. A nurse offered a small bottle of formula and I gladly accepted.

After nearly 6 days in the hospital, we were finally able to go home. I hadn’t seen the outside world for nearly a week. My body was horribly swollen from all the drugs that had been pumped into my system. I remember the relief I felt as soon as I stepped inside my house. I had thought everything would get better once I was home but again, the universe had different plans.

Breastfeeding continued to be a struggle. My nipples were cracked and bleeding. Even water hitting them while taking a shower was horribly painful. Vivian would cry every time (as would I) and when I did get her to latch, she would fall asleep fairly quickly. She still suckled while her eyes were closed so I assumed she was getting enough to eat. When I took her to her first doctor appointment, she had only gained an ounce over a week. Mentally everything was taking a big toll, so the doctor sent me home with several types of formula to supplement with.  I felt like a huge failure.

I didn’t want Vivian associating eating with stress so I decided to try pumping to make things easier, but it was harder. I would sleep through alarms I had set at night to get up to pump, and when Jared was back at work, I had no clue how to pump and hold the baby. I would only pump 3 to 4 times in the evening while he was home and started doing half formula and half breastmilk. I did this for five weeks and then made the choice to do straight formula. Her next several doctor appointments were amazing –  she was gaining weight, growing steadily, and advancing mentally just as she should be. Her doctor reassured me that I was doing great with her. Because I had always planned on breastfeeding, I felt like a huge failure again even though she was doing so well. I had a huge fear of being judged by others because I was formula feeding my baby.

Jared was only able to have a week off of work so once he went back, I was absolutely terrified. My dad was able to come over in the mornings to help me but I cried constantly during the day being alone with Vivian and every evening when Jared got home, I’d cry again. I loved my baby but didn’t feel connected to her. I found myself waking up everyday feeling like I wanted to die. I would sob to my mom that maybe I had made the wrong choice in having a child. Maybe I wasn’t cut out to be a mother. My mental state was getting darker and darker and I didn’t know what to do. Poor Jared, who had been through all of this right alongside me, kept urging me to get help. He knew this was not who I was and I knew it was taking a huge toll on him.

At four months postpartum, I began seeing my counselor. I had seen her in the past when my grandma passed away so she knew me and my history well. After a few sessions, I was diagnosed with not only postpartum depression but also anxiety and PTSD from my traumatic labor and delivery. I tried anti-depressants for a short period but stopped them due to side effects. I started exercise again recently and plan to use that as my outlet to help me heal. I continue to get better everyday and know that I can get past everything.

Bottle feeding is beautiful, too.

I’m just now accepting the fact that it’s ok that I couldn’t breastfeed. I have a beautiful, healthy, HAPPY baby girl who is growing perfectly.

So what have I learned?
1. ASK FOR HELP. I was too stubborn and ashamed to admit to anyone but Jared that I was badly struggling with EVERYTHING. It’s possible that had I asked for more help, I may have had a better chance in being successful in breastfeeding.
2. It’s ok that I couldn’t breastfeed. Feeding my baby formula does not make me a bad mother. She’s fed, end of story.
3. I should have educated myself more on postpartum depression.
4. Motherhood is not all beautiful and fun and games as society likes to think. It’s really hard.
5. I should have been nicer to myself and learned to relax. It would have saved Jared and I both a lot of grief.
6. Jared and I have a much stronger relationship than I ever truly realized.
7. Crazy as it sounds, I’d go through it all again for my baby because I love her that much.
8. I am a great mother.

Be sure to join us in our social media accounts to be up to date with the progress of our project!

And… Don’t forget to share your brelfies using our HT #BreastfeedingWorld 

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The post Motherhood: When Breastfeeding Doesn’t Work Out appeared first on Breastfeeding World.

Image courtesy of Babycenter.com

I did not know until starting therapy a few months ago, that I also have P.T.S.D. and Bipolar Disorder, which acted as a stimulant of sorts for my Postpartum Depression and Anxiety. I have had to find alternative ways to rewire my brain because I know I need to get better, but I don’t want my daughter getting medication through my breastmilk. There are antidepressants and anti-anxiety medications that are deemed safe while breastfeeding*, but it is a personal choice for me. Ultimately what I have found to work is doing yoga, going to therapy, writing, and painting. I think it is a great mixture because it covers all of the bases mentally, spiritually, and physically. Writing and painting happen to be something that fulfill me and make me happy; If you are seeking similar treatment but don’t enjoy either of these things, that is ok! Making time for anything that brings you joy will suffice. The point is to quiet your mind and feel like yourself again.

I started painting in high school, but stopped when I got pregnant because of the chemicals involved. Finally when I reached 12 months postpartum, I felt seriously inspired to start painting again and I decided to try watercolor instead of my usual acrylic oils, because it is less dangerous to use around my baby. I have been painting again for a few months and it has amazingly turned into a way for me to work from home, while also fulfilling my need to create.

One of my Mermaids in progress. You can find more on instagram @mermamame

Around the time I started painting again, I began going to therapy as well. It took 3 months to finally go to an appointment without my daughter, but I am slowly gaining more courage and realizing that the sessions are more productive when I’m not distracted by my active toddler. Finally being able to leave home for an hour without her is proof of the progress I have made and it has been a good reminder for me that she will be ok even if I am not around. She has a great time with her dad and usually doesn’t even notice that I am gone! Talk about a reality-check.

Yoga is my latest endeavour and I can say that it is the perfect treatment for anxiety and depression! The practice, with ancient roots in India, aims to quiet the mind, and build strength both mentally, physically, and spiritually. Finding balance and peace from within, breathing out toxins and stress, it relaxes and restores the mind, making healing possible. I have gone four times so far and already I feel stronger. Whenever I start feeling sad or angry, I know it’s time to grab my mat and hit the studio. The practice of yoga itself helps to calm my fears and feel strength from within, easing the anxiety of being away from my daughter.

Image courtesy of Spiritvoyage.com

When we exercise it releases feel good endorphins that help to correct the chemical imbalance that causes depression. Yoga is especially helpful for depression and anxiety because of the focus on deep breathing, clearing the mind, reaching within, and strengthening the body and mind. Yoga also builds important core strength and restores balance, which is especially important after having a baby because of the changes our bodies have gone through.

I am very fortunate that I have been able to see improvements with natural treatment, although I know it will be a long road. I still have setbacks and bad days, but knowing that what I am dealing with is a true mental illness makes it easier to understand and cope with. I am smiling more, loving harder, and feeling more hope than I have in a long time.

My family on a recent outing to the Pumpkin Patch!

Whatever course of alternative treatment you choose, try to be aware of whether or not you see improvements after a couple of months. Remember that there is no one-size-fits-all for motherhood, and the same certainly applies to Postpartum Depression and Anxiety. For some people, alternative treatment will not be enough, but can aid greatly in healing when paired with medication.  Know your limits, and know that you are not alone. 

Image courtesy of BotanicalBuddha.com

There is hope for us all and we will see the light again. Know your limits, reach within and begin to heal. You are not alone; we are in this together.

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*To inquire on whether a medication is safe while breastfeeding, please speak to your doctor, pharmacist, or  read here for more information. If you are having thoughts of hurting yourself or your child, please seek help immediately as you may be suffering from a more serious form of PPD known as Postpartum Psychosis.

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