Breastmilk is amazing, yes, but neuroscience shows that breastfeeding has many benefits that extend beyond the milk itself.

Have you heard of oxytocin? It’s a hormone most famous for its role in childbirth and nursing. Oxytocin gets contractions going, and in breastfeeding it goes hand in hand with prolactin, the hormone that’s in charge of milk production.

As if birth and milk weren’t amazing enough, I read the Oxytocin Factor by Kerstin Moberg and learned that oxytocin is also a neurotransmitter! Oxytocin has the power to reshape my brain? Impressive. So what else can this super-hormone and neurotransmitter do?

The Oxytocin Factor: Tapping the Hormone of Calm, Love and Healing (2003) by Kerstin Uvnas Moberg

I was astonished to learn that oxytocin is not just present during childbirth and breastfeeding, and not only in women. It’s the hormone of love and good feelings, and it basically makes the world go round.

People are even exploring the role of oxytocin in our everyday relationships, like in this Ted Talk by Paul Zak.

This “love hormone” runs through the bloodstream and nervous system of babies and adults, humans and animals. We experience high levels of oxytocin during a massage, a good meal with friends, or when making love. When oxytocin levels are high, we feel happy, in love, and calm. The highest levels of oxytocin are present during orgasm and a gazillion times more during childbirth.

Breastfeeding mothers have a very good deal. This “feel good” hormone increases in their body and in their baby’s at every nursing session. The lovey dovey drowsy feelings that come over them are all thanks to oxytocin.

Determined to breastfeed? Check out 5 Essential Breastfeeding Tips here.

So, what are the benefits of high oxytocin levels, besides making you feel happy and sleepy?

1. Bonding

Baby bonds with the mother, and is more likely to recognize her in the future.

Mother bonds with baby, and is more likely to interact with her or prefer her over other babies.

2. Learning

Because oxytocin is also a neurotransmitter, it has the ability to create new pathways in the brain. Oxytocin supports learning and the adapting to a new life (for both parents and baby).

3. Digestion

High levels of oxytocin are associated with more effective digestion. Babies take in more nutrition and show increased growth. This is another reason to make mealtime enjoyable as babies grow into toddlers. It’s not easy, but kids who are not stressed will digest better. Learn about my imperfect approach here.

4. Lower blood pressure

Oxytocin calms the nervous system and lowers blood pressure, resulting in relaxation in both adults and babies.

5. Increased circulation

Blood circulates at increased rates to the skin and other parts of the body. Check out your baby’s rosy cheeks, hands, and feet. They can be evidence of high oxytocin levels.

6. Feelings of calm

People feel satisfied, relaxed, and sometimes drowsy as oxytocin levels rise.

Good news for parents who do not breastfeed

Nursing is only one of countless ways to experience high levels of oxytocin. Here are a few more:

Touch

One reason oxytocin increases in nursing mothers and babies is because they are touching each other. But you don’t have to be nursing to be touching, obviously. Baby’s warm body against another (especially skin touching skin) releases oxytocin into the nervous system and bloodstream of both baby and adult. The adult’s blood vessels become dilated as blood flow increases. You can see the same effect in the baby’s hands and feet, as they become more red.

Massage

Rhythmic touch increases oxytocin levels. Massage is good for both adults and babies.

Another fab book.. Infant Massage: A Handbook for Loving Parents (2000) by Vimala McClure

Feeling warm

Snuggled up under blankets, or taking a warm bath can increase oxytocin levels.

Good food

The author of the book The Oxytocin Factor notes that food is like an internal massage. Eating carefully and slowly can maximize the effects of oxytocin while we eat. Babies drinking from a bottle can experience the same good feelings. Looking at your baby while she drinks, smiling, and interacting, can increase the amount of this love hormone.

Suckling

Whether on a nipple, pacifier, thumb, or bottle, the act of sucking produces oxytocin. All parents know that the fastest way to relax a baby is to let him suck on something. And science confirms what we already know.

Stay away, stress!

The stress hormone, cortisol, inhibits the production of oxytocin, and vice versa. Some stress is good for problem solving, moving away from danger, and for animals, defending their young. For new human mothers, however, it’s a good idea to keep the cortisol at bay. And the great news is that we can control our environment to some extent by doing all the aforementioned things.

So whether or not your are a breastfeeding mom, keep on snuggling, bathing, massaging, and eating. The more oxytocin we have in this world, the better!

When do you feel oxytocin vibes? Let us know in the comments. We love hearing from you and will always write back.

Did you like this article? Pin it to one of your Pinterest boards and keep it forever!

 

Be sure to join us in our social media accounts and be up to date with the progress of our project!

And… Don’t forget to share your brelfies using our hashtag

#BreastfeedingWorld

Anne Kathryn Rice

Anne Kathryn Rice is an American mother of two strong willed children living on the Italian Riviera. She writes about motherhood and listening to your inner voice, even when cultural expectations, baby books, and impromptu advice seem to challenge your instincts. You can read more about her personal experiences on her blog.

www.lovegrowdiscover.com

The post Oxytocin Power: Neuroscience shows how breastfeeding is more than milk appeared first on Breastfeeding World.

First of all, it’s good to know about a few normal things that happen in those first few days.

Don’t worry if…

your baby loses up to 10% of his birth weight during the first few days of life

Most newborns lose a little weight as they adjust to life outside the womb. Remember that they were immersed in water for 9 months, and most of the weight that they lose is water weight.

you don’t see white milk dripping from your breasts right away

You’ll produce colostrum at first (most women start producing it even before the birth). It’s highly caloric and syrup-like. It doesn’t drip, it slides. It will coat your baby’s gut and protect him from harmful bacteria. Colostrum will gradually turn into mature milk. Which might take a few days. I know some mothers who have noticed the change to be extremely gradual, taking up to one month to look completely white and drippy. All of it is good, though!

Related article: Will I still make colostrum if I am nursing my toddler?

your baby wants to nurse all. the. time.

It’s hard work being a newborn.

She’s learning. She’s trying to figure out how to get the milk out. And she’s tired (birth is exhausting). But she’s not just tired from the birth. She’s tired from EVERYTHING. From the lights, the sounds, the people. She may fall asleep at the breast and get back to suckling after a power nap. That’s okay. Frequent nursing is a sign that she’s determined to figure out how to suckle and get all the calories she can.

your older baby is not pooping very much

Newborn babies poop a lot (about 3-4 times a day) but after about 6 weeks every baby is different. Some babies digest breast milk so completely that there is no by-product, and they only poop once a week!

For more information about weight gain, dirty and wet diapers, and what to expect in your breastfeeding and parenting journey, kellymom.com is an amazing website. It is jam packed full of evidence based information with studies sited in an easy to read format.

Check out this quick reference guide to help you know if your baby is getting enough milk.

Here are some very good signs to look for

Meconium is out and baby is peeing and pooing

On day one the colostrum will help the baby pass his first poop. It will be meconium, a thick, tarry like substance. It will slowly change from dark and thick to thin and yellow over the next couple of days. Around day 4 look for 3-4 poops per day and 5-6 pees per day.

Baby nurses frequently

If your baby is nursing AT LEAST 8-12 times in 24 hours that is a good sign.

You can hear your baby swallowing as she nurses

glug. glug. glug. You might see her temples and jaw moving, too.

Your baby is gaining weight

Baby should regain her birth weight during the first two weeks.

After the first two weeks, weight gain should about 5 oz (125 grams) per week during the first few months. Don’t weigh your baby more than once a week. There could be days that baby doesn’t gain at all because of a million reasons (pooping a lot, learning a lot, ate a lot the day before) and seeing zero weight gain could get you down.

If you are wondering about growth, be sure to look at the growth charts from the World Health Organization. Some old growth charts based on formula fed babies are still floating around out there and the curve is notably different.

Your baby seems satisfied, content, and alert

She’s ready to take on the world and happy to do it.

You have a deep down gut feeling that she is getting enough milk

Mother’s instincts are usually so accurate that it’s freaky. And you are no different. Deep down, in your heart of hearts, do you think that your baby is okay? If you’re not sure, try talking with someone who is a really good listener (no advice please!). Good listeners, ones who mirror, paraphrase, and really care, tend to open the doors for instincts to flow more freely.

Related article: Why Every Mother Deserves a Doula

Warning signs that your baby might not be getting enough milk

Baby is lethargic

Maybe she sleeps a lot and it’s very difficult to wake her, even if you rub her feet and change her diaper.

Fussy on and off the breast

Baby might cry a lot, and breastfeeding does not soothe her.

Low weight gain

Baby’s not gaining about 5 oz (125 g) each week.

You sense that something is amiss

Deep down you have a sense that your baby is not thriving as she should be.

If you think that your baby might not be getting enough milk, here are a few things you can do:

Contact a lactation consultant

International Board Certified Lactation consultants, otherwise known as IBCLCs are the most qualified. Click here for a worldwide directory. A qualified lactation consultant can check your baby’s latch while she is nursing and tell you if milk is being removed or not. She will be able to notice an improper latch or a tongue tie that might be keeping your baby from massaging the breast in the right place with the right amount of pressure.

Go to a mother’s meeting

Spending time at a La Leche Meeting or other meetings dedicated to breastfeeding mothers can help you to realize what is normal and what is not. Watch what other people are doing and feeling, get some tips, and see what an experienced breastfeeding mother thinks.

Spend a day or two mostly naked with your baby

This will stimulate oxytocin and prolactin, the two hormones that are most heavily involved in milk production. It will also give your baby unlimited access to your breasts so that she can take advantage of every minute that she is awake to practice. Remember that breastfeeding is normal, but it’s not always completely intuitive and you and baby both need practice. You need time to figure each other out.

Get practical help so you can rest and concentrate on this

How can you lie in bed doing skin-to-skin all day if you have no one to bring you food? I wrote this article about the tip the breastfeeding experts never tell us. It’s the tip that should really be first on the list: practical, basic support!

Pump and supplement with YOUR milk

Maybe you are making enough milk, but your baby just doesn’t have the skills to get to it yet. You could pump your milk so that you can feed your baby at the breast AND in another way. Some mothers use a little syringe or spoon, or a bottle (nipple confusion is a real thing, but not for every baby). If you want to supplement at the breast with your breastmilk, you could use a supplemental tube like the one in this video. Don’t be discouraged if it seems that you weren’t able to pump very much milk. Remember that babies are much more efficient at removing milk from breasts than a breast pump is.

Formula is not the enemy

If your lactation consultant or care provider suggests that you supplement your breastmilk with formula, remember that it is not the end of the world. Many babies become champion exclusive breastfeeders even if they have had supplemental milk, either from a bottle or another way. Some mothers prefer to save formula for a last resort, some mothers weigh all the pros and cons and decide that supplementing with formula is how they will mother best. It’s up to you. Remember it’s your baby, and your body.

Related article: Why I Ignored my Pediatrician’s Breastfeeding Advice

So tell us, we want to know. How did you know that your baby was getting enough milk? Or how did you know that your baby needed supplementation?

Be sure to join us in our social media accounts and be up to date with the progress of our project!

And… Don’t forget to share your brelfies using our hashtag

#BreastfeedingWorld

Anne Kathryn Rice

Anne Kathryn Rice is an American mother of two strong willed children living on the Italian Riviera. She writes about motherhood and listening to your inner voice, even when cultural expectations, baby books, and impromptu advice seem to challenge your instincts. You can read more about her personal experiences on her blog.

www.lovegrowdiscover.com

The post When Is Enough, Enough? The Breastmilk Supply Guide appeared first on Breastfeeding World.

Let me tell you something about babies these days. They always want their mothers. It’s unheard of and unnecessary. Now, if you want to keep any bit of your sanity, make self soothing a priority. Get that baby used to a stroller, teach him to sleep in his own bed, and show him that he can play alone.

A baby who cannot be alone is a baby who will suck the life right out of you.

Sincerely,

Your well-meaning friend/mother-in-law/stranger you meet on the street while wearing your baby

I should really have made her walk or sit in a stroller. (eye roll)

Most new mothers have heard this schpeel. Independence is the golden standard. Independence will save you. And it’s very important that your baby learn it. Now. It’s now or never, people. And it’s all on YOU!

Geez, no pressure, right?

But can I please just illustrate the obsurdity of “teaching” self soothing, which is essentially just letting your child figure things out on his own without any sort of preparation or tools in his toolbelt.

Let’s imagine..

Imagine that your partner comes home from work upset. His colleagues completely misinterpreted a proposal that he spent hours working on. They laughed at him and made light of his work. He feels misunderstood, angry, sad, and confused.

So you say, “I hear you. I will stay close by. But you really need to sit with this and figure out your feelings on your own. I’m not going to hug or coddle you because you are completely capable calming down without me. I am doing this for your own good. You need to realize that this stuff happens to millions of people all over the world every day. There will be lots of times that people don’t understand you. More than you can count. You need to get used to it. Actually, maybe we shouldn’t sleep in the same bed tonight either. That will really teach you. Don’t be upset with me. I’m doing this because I love you.”

Wouldn’t that be confusing and maddening for your partner?

Or, imagine that your BFF needs to talk. She comes over and sits on your couch and cries. It’s been a difficult couple of months and she feels completely alone.

You realize that this is a perfect time to let her try out self soothing techniques. You tell her that you can’t touch her but she is free to stay on your couch for as long as she needs to. Sooner or later she will calm down and thank you for teaching her that she is a strong, competent woman.

We know it sounds crazy, so why do we do it?

I wanted to be with her as much as she wanted to be with me. Was I doing something wrong?

I think that we ALL know deep down in our heart of hearts that times of distress are not a good time to teach anything. We instinctively go to crying or hurt people and help them or reassure them. But something has happened in the last century or so. There is something that is clouding our instinct.

Somehow, somewhere in parenting history, we have decided that there is one demographic that should be the exception to the rule when it comes to offering reassurance. The exception is the babies. The babies need to learn how to be alone. The little ones. The ones with immature brains and bodies. They need to learn how to brave it alone. Sleep alone, travel alone, play alone. At least some of the time.

Why are the babies the unlucky ones?

I’ll tell you why.

Mothers are tired.

Sleep deprived.

Crisis moments with partners and BFFs happen a few times a year. Crisis moments with babies happen every hour, day and night.

We are struggling.

let’s see… put him down to do laundry while he screams or hold him and take a selfie in the bathroom mirror?

We are drowning.

Some of us suffer from anxiety and depression and we’re figuring out how to deal with it alone.

Mothers need space. Parents need sleep. We need help.

And this is a modern problem.

Back in the day, tribal mommas didn’t say, “I cannot deal with this crying anymore! You need to learn to self soothe!”

No, she would say, “I cannot deal with this crying anymore! You need to go hang out with one of your 53 cousins!”

Actually, she probably wouldn’t even arrive at her breaking point because three of the cousins were probably with her all the time.

Modern society has changed..

Fast forward a hundred years or so, or simply step into the western world, and parents are alone. We do what we have to do in order to survive, and letting our babies cry sometimes is a necessity. Sometimes we are at the end of our rope. Babies learn self soothing because we just can’t physically do it all.

So basically, as modern society has shifted away from tribal life and into nuclear family life, parents have gotten a very bad deal. And somehow we have convinced ourselves that the babies are the ones who have to adapt. They need to get over themselves and self soothe, because momma is tired.

Please let me know if you disagree when I say that being left alone in distress is not good for anyone. It’s not good for grown men and women and it’s certainly not good for babies. Here’s an idea. Instead of changing babies, can we try and change society? We ARE society by the way. We can be the change we want to see.

I just watched The Lorax with my kids and I have to say that Dr. Seuss said it all when he wrote, “Unless someone like you cares a whole awful lot, nothing is going to get better, it’s not.”

So the next time your neighbor asks you, “are you ALWAYS holding that baby?” Ask him if he ALWAYS has Saturday mornings free and if he could empty your dishwasher for you or take out the trash. We need help! Not advice. Babies haven’t changed. Our society has. Let’s try to stick together a little bit more. For our babies and for ourselves!

What do you think about babies learning to self soothe? What have you found works for your family?

If you liked this post, pin it to your pinterest account and keep it forever!

Be sure to join us in our social media accounts and be up to date with the progress of our project!

And… Don’t forget to share your brelfies using our hashtag

#BreastfeedingWorld

Anne Kathryn Rice

Anne Kathryn Rice is an American mother of two strong willed children living on the Italian Riviera. She writes about motherhood and listening to your inner voice, even when cultural expectations, baby books, and impromptu advice seem to challenge your instincts. You can read more about her personal experiences on her blog.

www.lovegrowdiscover.com

The post Self Soothing Babies: Why It Matters.. Or Does It? appeared first on Breastfeeding World.

Our first child was almost a year old when I got pregnant with baby number 2. We were nursing frequently, and it was our happy place. I nursed through pregnancy, and then went on to tandem nurse a baby and a toddler. There were definitely a  few things that really took me by surprise.

People thought it was weird

Some people even thought it was impossible. I found this very strange, especially in this day in age when information is literally at our fingertips. I admit, I had no experience with tandem nursing before I started this journey. But, I never for one second thought that it was “wrong” or “unhealthy.” I felt that the opposite was true. Nursing was healthy, nurturing, the hug above all hugs, and just generally wonderful.

But when my husband and I announced my pregnancy, many well meaning family and friends and even the pediatrician expressed concern.

Nursing while pregnant? Doesn’t that increase the risk of miscarriage?

What are you going to do about your milk? It’s not good anymore.

You are going to be so tired if you keep nursing your toddler.

And what about when the baby is born? Your toddler is going to take the baby’s milk!

It has taken me years to begin to understand the origin of these thoughts and why in the world someone would actually say them to me out loud.

Here’s what I have learned: In short, if you have absolutely NO experience with something, it can seem scary. People were just afraid for me, and wanted to keep me safe. I’m glad that I had enough sense to do a bit of my own research (and thank goodness for the internet!). Which brings me to my next surprise..

I realized how little I knew

When all the concerns started rolling in, I was literally dumbfounded by the fact that most people (including myself) knew nothing about something that has kept our species alive for a gazillion years.

If you are about to embark on this journey, Adventures in Tandem Nursing by Hilary Flower (2006) was my favorite book on the subject. The author is currently working on a second edition and you can follow her Facebook page to make sure you catch it when it is published.

I also enjoyed reading Mothering your Nursing Toddler by Norma Jane Bumgarner (2000). I know, it’s 17 years old, but I found it to be relevant. Norma Jane was more up to date in 2000 than my pediatrician was in 2013. (He told me that nursing past a year would compromise my daughter’s growth. You can read more about why I didn’t listen to him here.)

Nursing helped me relax during pregnancy

Toddlers like to run around and get into stuff. Pregnant people like to sleep. How did I manage to rest during pregnancy? Literally all I had to do was lie down, and ask my daughter if she wanted to nurse. We would usually both fall asleep. During the first trimester, it did make me feel a little nauseous. But, for me, it was worth it to be able to have a nap.

No milk? No problem

My daughter did not care AT ALL that a few weeks into pregnancy, there was not really any milk there. She started eating more table food and her big Italian extended family was thrilled.

A baby changes everything

I thought that our nursing relationship was “established.” My daughter and I had previously nursed at certain times, she had favorite foods, and she was blossoming into an independent toddler. And then everything changed..

She was really not sure about this new baby.

She decided that being a baby has way more perks than being a toddler.

After baby boy was born, our toddler wanted to nurse EVERY time he did.

Table food? She didn’t care. When she nursed, she pointed to my breast as if to say, “there’s milk here!” She even fattened up a bit.

Playing independently? Not any more. She had her eyes on us like a hawk for a good 4 months.

I have since learned that development is not a straight line. It’s more of a curvy, loopy line, and it can sometimes seem like we are moving backwards (parents and children alike).

I have since learned that development is not a straight line. It’s more of a curvy, loopy line, and it can sometimes seem like we are moving backwards (parents and children alike).
Click To Tweet

My body knew exactly how much milk to produce

We nursed all the time. Sometimes the baby nursed first, sometimes the toddler first. Sometimes they nursed at the same time and then switched sides. I think that sometimes there was more or less milk depending on the time of day and their nursing patterns, but they knew what to do to get their milk. They just stayed on the breast until it came, and it always did. I was in awe of their patience (and mine!)

If you are curious about milk production and tandem nursing during the first days of baby’s life, you can read my article about colostrum here.

Nursing them both at the same time was totally overwhelming

Breastfeeding releases oxytocin, which is the hormone of love. It makes you feel all warm and cuddly, and relaxes you sometimes so much that you drift off to sleep. I thought that nursing two would be like a double dose of oxytocin, and that I would be over the moon with lovey feelings, but I wasn’t. It was too much of a good thing. I guess everyone has a “pleasure limit” when it comes to their bodies.

Tandem nursing saved me at nap time

I usually nursed the kids one at a time, the one exception being when I REALLY wanted them to sleep at the same time. Nursing was a great way to get them to drift off to sleep, so when I was in dire need of a break (or if they really needed a nap), I just breathed through the nursing times two and then somehow wriggled myself away when they both fell asleep. I found it almost impossible to put one to sleep if the other was awake. The afternoon turned into a “who can resist sleep the best” marathon. Tandem nursing really saved me when it came to naps.

I still feel the remnants of our tandem relationship 5 years later

When either of my kids catches sight of my breasts, they smile or laugh or want to cuddle. Sometimes we take a bath together and they both pretend to nurse for 2 seconds and then look at each other and giggle. I think it’s sweet that they have this thing in common, and I believe that they feel very tied together because of it. They both nursed when they were little. And there is nothing “weird” about it.

Did you enjoy this article? Don’t forget to pin it!

Be sure to join us in our social media accounts and be up to date with the progress of our project!

And… Don’t forget to share your brelfies using our hashtag

#BreastfeedingWorld

[col1][/col1]

[col2][/col2]

[col3][/col3]

SaveSave

SaveSave

Anne Kathryn Rice

Anne Kathryn Rice is an American mother of two strong willed children living on the Italian Riviera. She writes about motherhood and listening to your inner voice, even when cultural expectations, baby books, and impromptu advice seem to challenge your instincts. You can read more about her personal experiences on her blog.

www.lovegrowdiscover.com

The post Tandem Nursing: 8 Things That Took Me By Surprise appeared first on Breastfeeding World.

One of my pregnant friends asked me this question when she found out that I was studying to become a birth and postpartum doula.

All of my friends who are mothers have wanted to breastfeed, but only a handful of them breastfed exclusively. They didn’t make enough milk to satisfy their babies so they supplemented with formula. Why are some women able to breastfeed and some not?”

I froze under the pressure of this hugely complex question.

I could feel my heart beating faster. There are a million possible answers to this. My friend’s eyes, patiently waiting, were bearing into my soul. She was eagerly expecting me to tell her the magic words that would ensure her breastfeeding success.

“Be concise,” I told myself. “Don’t scare her with stories of tongue ties or insufficient glandular tissue. Don’t intimidate her with the need to spend hours of skin-to-skin time every day. Help her to feel confident in one sentence.”

“Well,” I began shakily, “It’s good to really know how the breast makes milk. Sometimes women are given incorrect information and that affects their breastfeeding relationship. Having the right people around you really helps. You really need people around you who support your decision to breastfeed and professionals who are experienced in the physiology of breastfeeding. Unfortunately some women don’t have that kind of support, and as a consequence are not very relaxed, and that can affect their supply.”

She didn’t really say anything in response. Maybe my words didn’t seem magic enough. A little boring, even. She was probably even holding back a yawn.

Even though that answer was probably a little wordy for a first time mom, it was actually my short answer. There are so many aspects to the breastfeeding relationship. It is a relationship, after all.

Since that conversation I have been thinking a lot about why some babies are not thriving on their mother’s milk, even when mom has access to correct information, the best lactation consultant in town, and supportive family members.

If a medical condition is ruled out, why do some mothers still not make enough milk?

Could it be that breastfeeding is much much more than mechanics?

Getting a good latch is not all that matters.

I think that there is something that is happening under the surface. Inside mom and baby. In the air between them. Something is happening that has nothing to do with milk removal and more to do with how mom is feeling.

In order for breastfeeding to work, mom needs to be relaxed. She needs to let the milk flow. 

I know that sounds a little silly. “Let the milk flow.” But it’s actually not easy to just sit back, relax, and trust your baby and your body, especially if you are used to being in control.

We go from our pre-parenthood lives of waking up to an alarm, eating lunch around mid-day, and taking a shower around the same time every day.

Then parenthood arrives.

You can’t control when your baby is born (usually). Nor can you control when those first drops of white, mature milk will start to form. You can’t control when your baby will be hungry or sleepy, and a lot of times you can’t control when YOU will sleep or eat.

New motherhood is all about letting go.

Feeling nature around you can help you to “let go.” picture shared with permission from pixabay.com

Sometimes, new mothers try to stay in control, and the milk just doesn’t flow. For one reason or another they are tense or scared or just sort of freaked out about the massive shift that is happening inside them and in their lives.

There are a few other times in life that letting go is quite necessary. Pooping is one. Orgasm is another. You also have to be quite relaxed in order to eat and digest food. When you are tense you may have indigestion.

So making enough milk is no different. You need to feel safe, relaxed, and have a deep trust in yourself and your baby.

It’s not easy. I know.

That’s why new mothers need a lot of help.

They need help in breastfeeding, help in cleaning up the kitchen, and help in letting go. So that their milk will flow.

Are you feeling relaxed in your breastfeeding relationship? We’d love to hear your stories.

Please pin this article if you found it interesting!

Be sure to join us in our social media accounts and be up to date with the progress of our project!

And… Don’t forget to share your brelfies using our hashtag

#BreastfeedingWorld

[col1][/col1]

[col2][/col2]

[col3][/col3]

Save

Anne Kathryn Rice

Anne Kathryn Rice is an American mother of two strong willed children living on the Italian Riviera. She writes about motherhood and listening to your inner voice, even when cultural expectations, baby books, and impromptu advice seem to challenge your instincts. You can read more about her personal experiences on her blog.

www.lovegrowdiscover.com

The post Why do some breastfeeding mothers not make enough milk? appeared first on Breastfeeding World.

Normalizing breastfeeding is very important to me, but I was going about it the wrong way. Why did I decide to let my inner warrior go? I’d like to share my story with you.

I’ll admit, when it comes to dealing with life’s challenges, I have always been more of a furied fighter than a patient yogi. If I have a vision I go for it. Quickly.

But when my husband and I found out we were expecting our first child, the warrior in me relaxed. I took off my armour and settled into my safe place.

Even in the womb, I could feel how this baby was shifting my priorities.

I was shifting away from “not gonna let anyone stop me,” and towards, “appreciate this moment before it’s gone.”

It’s amazing how new life creates new ways of looking at life.

Then the baby arrived.

And I was caught totally off guard by a battle I never expected. My sword and shield were packed away in a closet so when the first shot flew at me I was shocked.

“Your baby won’t get enough nourishment if you breastfeed like that.”

Huh?

I slowly lifted my head up from my newfound mindfulness.

“It’s really unsafe to sleep with your baby.”

What? Another one?

“If you breastfeed too much your baby will be spoiled.”

Yikes. This was really happening.

Then, on the news, “Woman accused of indecent exposure for breastfeeding her baby in public.”

That’s it.

Forget mindfulness.

The warrior in me was back.

Every time I went out with my baby, my eyes darted around like a cat sensing danger, ready to retaliate if necessary.

On an airplane, I saw a woman nursing with a cover. I wondered why. Who would say something if she took it off? I was ready to defend her. And breastfeeding.

I learned about the other warrior mothers out there, just trying to raise and feed their babies the way they choose. Court cases, pumping laws, talk show hosts who tell their viewers to “be discrete.”

“Breastfeed Wherever You Want.” The ad for a Latch On that was held in Rome this past May.

I learned that this battle is so big that women need to join forces in Latch Ons around the globe, just to get the message out there that this. is. normal.

To learn about Breastfeeding World’s Big Latch Ons that will take place on August 4th and 5th, 2017, visit our home page.

I live in Italy and I can tell you that the struggle is real here, too. The ad for a Latch On in Rome shows a breastfeeding mother with the ultimate warrior look.  And here’s a video of a Latch On in Bologna.

Like all these mothers I was reading about and getting to know at La Leche League meetings, I was on a mission. The mission was to normalize breastfeeding. To educate. To defend my choices in motherhood.

I memorized my breastfeeding rights in case anyone challenged me.

I didn’t buy a nursing cover.

The pediatrician told me that my child was “too dependent” on me and I flipped out.

Back off, people!

So I started firing back. I was waving my sword around like a mad woman.

I preached the benefits of breastfeeding to whomever would listen (especially pregnant women). And I was ready to attack whoever challenged the bond, the antibodies, the right to feed my baby the way I wanted to.

I had to win. Yet, I was so confused as to why this was even an issue.

 

 

 

And then.

It was quiet.

 

 

In part because I ran out of ammunition. In part because I realized that I was firing randomly and “the enemy” was actually not on the battlefield.

I thought that there were a bunch of people out to get me. Out to change me.

But really there was just an absence of knowledge and experience.

In so many families, breastfeeding is not normal. Many pediatricians are not trained in the physiology of breastfeeding.

But no one is out to get me, really. A lot of people just don’t know. They don’t know what a gift this is.

They don’t know that giving my milk to my babies, like pregnancy and giving birth, is like pure magic.

I put down my sword and shield.

And I picked up my baby.

I unfurrowed my brow.

And shifted my focus.

There is no war. Only ignorance. I can’t fight ignorance.

I can educate, but I can’t force that either.

All I can do is breastfeed my babies, with a smile, knowing that I am doing what’s right and good for us.

The critics will come and go, and I’ll hear their words. But their words won’t hurt me, because I know that they are coming from a place of “unknowing.”

People can sense if you are living your life with calm resolution. The naysayers will have less and less to say if they realize that this, for me, is a non-issue.

I’m just going about my business, breastfeeding or not, pacifier or not, co-sleeping or not, when I want, where I want, how I want.

I’m still a warrior at heart, and living in the moment is still something that I have to consciously choose, but at least I have left this battle behind.

With the Third Annual Times Square NYC Big Latch On approaching, I applaud all of you mothers who proudly breastfeed, showing the world what is normal, natural, not always easy, but magical.

We can make this normal again. And there doesn’t need to be a battle. Just a bunch of mothers breastfeeding will do. With a smile. In peace. Together.

 

 

What about you? How do you normalize breastfeeding? Please share your experiences with us in the comments below. It would make my day.

 

Did you like this article? Don’t forget to pin it!

 

 

Be sure to join us in our social media accounts and be up to date with the progress of our project!

And… Don’t forget to share your brelfies using our hashtag

#BreastfeedingWorld

 

 

 

Save

Anne Kathryn Rice

Anne Kathryn Rice is an American mother of two strong willed children living on the Italian Riviera. She writes about motherhood and listening to your inner voice, even when cultural expectations, baby books, and impromptu advice seem to challenge your instincts. You can read more about her personal experiences on her blog.

www.lovegrowdiscover.com

The post Normalizing Breastfeeding: Why I Decided to Let Go of the Warrior in Me appeared first on Breastfeeding World.

Has This Ever Been You?

The baby has been sleeping for a while now, and you and your partner eye each other. Could this be the moment? The moment that you remember that you are also lovers? That you created this life together?

Gentle touches. Let’s see how this feels…

WAAAAAAAAA!

Baby’s awake. Moment postponed.

Yes, it’s happened to me, too.  And to lots of mothers around the globe. We are all just trying to figure out how, where, and when we can have sex with our parters without a baby crawling between us (figuratively and literally).

So, in the spirit of friendship, we asked women what sex after birth was like for them. People shared a wide variety of experiences. From struggles to triumphs, it’s pretty obvious that there is not one “normal” way to feel. I hope that you can identify with some of these mothers, and hopefully know that you are not alone as you discover YOUR new normal way of making love.

Here’s what they told us:

If Only I Could Hold On To Those Sexy Pregnant Hormones

Sex during pregnancy was amazing. I would even masterbate because I was just so juicy. I read somewhere that during pregnancy you have extra blood flowing through you. It reaches everywhere of course, so your vagina is basically pulsating more than usual. Take advantage of this sexy time, ladies!

But when I was pregnant with all those hormones, he was so scared that doing it would affect her development, pissed me off so much because … I’m pregnant and full of THOSE hormones… Even after I assured him she was fine (We were like 24 weeks at this point and I was still small) – he finally said that the pregnant belly throws him off! Definitely annoying and we had many arguments because I was already feeling the heaviest I’d ever been. Bleh.

Physical And Emotional Healing After Birth Is Not Always Simple Or Quick.

I had an episiotomy with my first child, and I was disappointed to find that sex was painful for quite a long time after. I had previously enjoyed a daily vigorous sex drive, and I was discouraged when the “Big O” wasn’t happening.

After I had my son, I could actually say that I had an aversion to sex. I was exhausted all the time, finishing my degree, living in a place where sex was not fun, I could go on. I was always waiting for that feeling of being in the mood. You know, that feeling you get in your early 20s, that doesn’t need provoking, it just is. But it never came (no pun intended, especially since that wasn’t a problem). After I had my daughter, I was still feeling this way. Now, it was worse! Which I didn’t think was possible. It’s not that I didn’t enjoy sex when we were actually in the moment. Actually, there were many times, after sex, that I thought to myself, hmm how come we don’t do this more.

Then one day it hit me. Everything, literally everything about my life is different after I have had kids. Why wouldn’t I expect my sex drive and sex life to follow suit. Maybe it was okay to not just spontaneously feel in the mood. Maybe it was okay to work on it a little! So. I did. At least once a week, I would work on getting myself in the mood. Funny enough, it didn’t take much, and I realized that it was my mind doing this to me, not my body. I worked on letting everything go, stop worrying about my never ending list and be in the moment, for once. Suddenly things were so much better. I found a new way to enjoy sex, just like I found new ways to enjoy many aspects of my before-kids life.

Sex Requires Time – Away From The Baby

It took four months and a night away from the baby to have my “O” moment back.

The reality is, working and being around so many people and having the baby nurse, there is no time.

I don’t know about you, but I need some time to get in the mood. I need a sweet conversation, a laugh, a giggle, a feeling of connection. But when you have a baby, it’s like there’s always this little clock ticking inside your head. “How much time do we have? Okay, you tell me I’m beautiful, I’ll kiss your neck, and then let’s do it! Hurry because I really want to cuddle afterwards too.” It’s just not sexy for me when we are timed.

We have to guess how fast it’s going to go before baby girl wakes up and starts crawling out while we’re mid way.

How I View My Body Has Really Changed

I was very young and scared that birth ruined my body.

I try not to let it show, but it bothers me. A lot. Particularly my mid-section, and I hate exposing it to my husband. I’d just as soon keep a shirt on, which of course he hates.

I love my after-baby body in many different ways. It has changed, definitely. There are some things about it that I don’t like. But I try to focus on the many ways that I love it. My body grew two beautiful children, it safely birthed those two children and made me a mother. It has nourished those children, fully, for their first year of life and comforted them far beyond that. My husband always talks about how sexy he thinks I am, goes into detail about what he loves about my body and mind. Let me tell you, that instantly does me in.

High Levels Of Oxytocin (The Hormone Produced While Breastfeeding) Is Known For Diminishing Libido

I think my hormones are so out of whack that I have no drive in “that way” at All. I’m happy, I love my husband, but I would be perfectly content with sex once a month.

I want to feel sexy again, but I just don’t. I feel like my body is just meant for other things right now.

Lube is my best friend.

Sleep Is So Much More Important

Sometimes, when both kids are miraculously sleeping in their own beds instead of ours, we lie down together, look at each other and sort of start to hold hands or hug a a little bit. I think we are both thinking, “we could totally have sex right now. Ok, I’ll go along with it if she/he initiates” And then we both fall asleep because dude, this life.. it’s so exhausting!

Honestly, sometimes, I’d rather be sleeping.

Fear Is Real

I’m afraid that my husband won’t be turned on by my postpartum body. My stomach is flabby, shaving my legs seems like a total waste of time so I’m really hairy, the puffy eyes from not having enough sleep.. I’m not sexy like before.

I’m terrified of getting pregnant- the last one was hard, working full time, momming full time- I’m not in an emotional or physical state where I want another baby at the moment, and even with condoms, my fear of getting pregnant was so strong it overpowered any desire for sex.

Boobs Are For Milk

I’m always afraid that my husband is going to get sprayed with milk in the heat of the moment.

My husband actually doesn’t mind drinking a little breastmilk every now and then during sex.

Oh. And for the love of all things holy, LEAVE MY BOOBS ALONE.

I Am Constantly Thinking About The Birth

I just can’t stop thinking about the fact that a baby just came out of there and how will I ever be able to have sex again without thinking about that?

Creating The Right Ambience Becomes A Fine Art (And Not Everyone’s Got The Skills)

Luckily we have amazing parents who will take our kids so we can have overnight date nights! I think that is a great tip. Casino, hotel and spa, anywhere you can go and feel like yourself and sexy again, not at home where you’re looking at the dirty dishes, overflowing laundry and diaper pales… Lol!

Co-sleeping makes it hard!

I don’t even bother doing it in my bed, because co-sleeping 

How about cosleeping and then baby waking up (on the other end of the bed) looking to nurse calling out – Mom Mom Mom 

After doing some real soul searching and realizing that my new normal is having to help myself get in the mood, I found some go-to things that helped me.
Relaxing! Letting the day and worry melt off of me
A bubble bath
A massage
Sexy movies (relax not porn, although you can do that too if you’re into it lol)
Connecting with my husband, cuddling and tons of foreplay, anything but sex until we really want it (we usually do this after I’ve done one of the above too lol)

I used to think I just didn’t have the time for all of this. Then I realized that sex is important!!!!! And I need to MAKE the time for it.

Someone touching you 100% of the time is enough to drive anyone completely insane

It’s hard to be needed all day, having kids hanging on you- I need alone time to recharge and the last thing in the world I wanted was to be touched.

My partner is so ready, but I’m not

If my drive has slacked- he has made up for it in his. It’s caused a huge rift between us and can be a sore spot- if he pushes, my brain automatically pushes back. It’s not how I want to be, it’s not how I want my marriage to be, and I certainly want my husband to feel connected, even if I don’t. But it takes its toll, and I don’t know how to make it better.

Every time we have sex (which is hardly ever) my husband makes a joke about how we finally did it. I feel bad that he wants to have sex more than me, but I’m also grateful that he can joke about it in a lighthearted way.  I think that things will pick up sooner or later (better if it’s sooner, though!)

Once my husband got so excited over something and felt like, it’s ok if she’s awake and playing in her crib (which is connected to our bed, so technically, still able to crawl to us), meanwhile, I was NOT.

Our love and connection has deepened

When I see my husband and how he is with our child. So patient, so loving.. it really turns me on.

I feel like we’ve been through so much together, that our bond is stronger now.

There is absolutely nothing like the way I feel about my husband now. After working on myself, and getting my drive back, it is amazing how seeing how he loves our children makes me want to jump him. And forget it, if he cleans the house too, I am sweating with anticipation!

I’ve never felt pleasure like this before

I used to always need my clitoral stimulation to have an orgasm. For some reason, after giving birth, I don’t need that anymore.

I think I just learned to have more trust in my body, and confidence in myself.

I know my body better now, and I’m not afraid to say what feels good. So I feel like sex is better now because I am more in charge and I know what I like.

I am not what you would describe as a shy person. But, in a private setting, I was always pretty shy about my body. After having kids, I am so confident in my body, in myself. All of my inhibitions have left. I know what I like and I am not afraid to share it now and that has been things so amazing.

The relief that I could again enjoy sex was astounding.

Please share your sex after birth experiences and feelings in the comments below. We would love to hear from you!

Be sure to join us in our social media accounts and be up to date with the progress of our project!

And… Don’t forget to share your brelfies using our hashtag

#BreastfeedingWorld

[col1][/col1]

[col2][/col2]

[col3][/col3]

Anne Kathryn Rice

Anne Kathryn Rice is an American mother of two strong willed children living on the Italian Riviera. She writes about motherhood and listening to your inner voice, even when cultural expectations, baby books, and impromptu advice seem to challenge your instincts. You can read more about her personal experiences on her blog.

www.lovegrowdiscover.com

The post Sex After Birth Uncensored: Women Share What It’s Really Like appeared first on Breastfeeding World.

A few weeks ago my colleague Lauren wrote a beautifully passionate piece called This is why I am fed up with “Fed is Best.” She reminded us of the nutritional superiority of breastmilk, and of the struggle that breastfeeding mothers face in trying to feel normal as we do the most normal thing – breastfeed our kids.  She also expressed her solidarity, noting that we are all mothers making the best decisions for our families, and that there’s no need to get defensive. But the problem is not that women are overly sensitive. Being sensitive is what makes new motherhood a powerful and transformative time. In short, it’s a good thing. The problem is that there are even two sides at all. We are blinded by competition. We are like teenagers looking for pokemon and missing the Justin Bieber concert.

Both of these campaigns have overlooked the most important piece when it comes to raising the next generation. And women and babies are suffering because of it.

The most important piece is mom.

New baby. New mom. Both are learning. Both are sensitive.

She’s new, too.

New mothers are learning.

They are learning to listen to their instincts. And they matter more than breastmilk or formula. Food doesn’t raise babies. Moms do.

In an airplane the flight attendants tell you that if there is an emergency, put your own oxygen mask on first, then your child’s.

Who are the flight attendants for new moms? Occasionally you meet one or two people who ask how mom is doing before examining the baby, but they are few and far between. Most people go right to the baby.

How can she learn to trust her instincts, if time after time, she is ignored?

Moms need encouragement, not advice. Telling someone how to feed her child sends the message that she does not know. If enough people tell mom that she is not equipped to make her own decisions (even indirectly), guess what happens. She might start to believe it herself. That she needs to rely solely on a book, advice, or WHO guidelines in order to raise her baby.

It’s sad. It’s dangerous. It’s preventable. But not with campaigns like these.

When my baby girl was a year old, several people, including our pediatrician, told me that I should stop breastfeeding. I felt gravely misunderstood and profoundly alone. I immediately realized what it must feel like if the tables were turned. How would I feel if I knew that formula would be the only way that my baby or I could survive, but someone told me, “you know, breast is best?” I would feel the same way I felt then: undermined, belittled, and misunderstood. Telling new mothers what to do, no matter how sweet your voice is and no matter how many scientific studies you cite, if you do not listen to her, you send the message that she is not worth listening to. And then the doubts start to immerge like those creepy black shadows in the movie Ghost.

Every woman has her own story, and we can’t pretend to know someone else’s story unless we ask.

If another mom makes a decision that is vastly different than your ideal, remember that the human species is crazy smart when it comes to survival. She is surviving the way she knows best. Following your ideal will likely end in failure if she’s not totally on board.

If you are a new mom, I encourage you to listen to your instincts.

If someone in your life is a new mom, I encourage you to listen to her, to her story, to her ideas about what’s best for her and her baby. By encouraging her to explore her new role without judgement, you empower her to make the best decisions for her baby’s healths, her health, and her entire family’s wellbeing.

The most important piece is mom. Moms are raising the next generation, not breastmilk or formula.

The breast is best and fed is best campaigns draw followers, and unfortunately they are directing our focus to the second priority and bypassing the first.

Moms need their oxygen, they need a cup of tea, a leaned ear, clean clothes. Then maybe, just maybe, there will be enough quiet in the room for their inner voices to immerge.

Love this post? Don’t forget to pin it!

Be sure to join us in our social media accounts and be up to date with the progress of our project!

And… Don’t forget to share your brelfies using our hashtag

#BreastfeedingWorld

[col1][/col1]

[col2][/col2]

[col3][/col3]

Anne Kathryn Rice

Anne Kathryn Rice is an American mother of two strong willed children living on the Italian Riviera. She writes about motherhood and listening to your inner voice, even when cultural expectations, baby books, and impromptu advice seem to challenge your instincts. You can read more about her personal experiences on her blog.

www.lovegrowdiscover.com

The post Breast Is Best And Fed Is Best – The Danger In Choosing Sides appeared first on Breastfeeding World.

“If you breastfeed throughout your complete pregnancy do you still make colostrum for the new baby?”

We are delighted to address this topic and welcome more questions from our readers. It is our pleasure to share research and experience with you!

Dear Reader,

The answer is YES! Usually mothers experience a decrease in their milk production during pregnancy as progesterone levels rise and prolactin levels go down. You may begin producing small amounts of colostrum in late pregnancy. When you birth the placenta, the prolactin levels shoot up, starting the boom of milk production that starts with colostrum. It’s like your body does a reset. So don’t worry, your newborn will be able to enjoy the same thick, antibody packed first milk that your first child got.

This book is full of evidence based information and tons of mothers’ stories.

Breastfeeding two or more children at once is called tandem nursing. If you are about to embark on this journey I highly recommend the book Adventures in Tandem Nursing: Breastfeeding During Pregnancy and Beyond by Hilary Flower (2003). It’s packed full of research references, illustrations, quotes from mothers, and quotes from toddlers (so cute!). All of the information that I share with you now is from this book.

So, what exactly happens to your milk when you conceive, grow a baby, and finally give birth?

Breastfeeding during pregnancy

The American Academy of Family Physicians states that “if the pregnancy is normal and the mother is healthy, breastfeeding during pregnancy is the woman’s personal decision.”

You can relax about your health and the health of your baby. 

Many women (though not all) report that their milk “dries up” or diminishes in quantity by about mid-pregnancy.  Because of the high levels of progesterone during pregnancy, your alveoli (tiny pockets for milk storage) may loosen and not hold milk as well.

You and your nursing toddler may have to find a new kind of normal if your milk supply diminishes, changes in taste, or if you experience discomfort when you breastfeed.

Remember, if your pregnancy is not high risk, the decision to nurse during pregnancy is a parenting decision.

You may have heard that breastfeeding increases levels of oxytocin in your body and that high levels of oxytocin could cause labor to start prematurely.  If your care provider or well meaning friend or relative mentions this as a risk, remember that having sex produces much more oxytocin than breastfeeding. If your doctor says that it’s okay to have sex, breastfeeding should be okay, too!

Birth and colostrum

When your new baby is born, followed by the placenta, those progesterone levels go down and your body will begin to make prolactin. Prolactin will seal up those little alveoli and colostrum will begin to form. Your breasts will secrete this thick, clear substance that has many amazing health benefits. It’s your baby’s first milk, and it’s jam-packed with antibodies. And that’s not all. Colostrum coats your baby’s digestive tract, protecting it from harmful bacteria and aiding in digestion. It is also a natural laxative. Colostrum helps your baby push out meconium, or baby’s first poo, that is very dark and dense.

Experienced tandem nursing mothers as well as lactation consultants like Anne Smith of Breastfeeding Basics, recommend breastfeeding the newborn first, then your toddler. This way, your newborn will be sure to get the colostrum that he needs. Your toddler can also benefit from the immunological proteins and laxative effect of colostrum.

“Well, it’s a fuller bodied, thicker product with a fruity bouquet. Certainly, a much more limited batch.”

If your toddler was getting used to your diminished milk supply during pregnancy, she may be pleasantly surprised to have milk again! Don’t be alarmed if your toddler fattens up a bit, or if her stool is a bit loose. It’s not diarrhea, it’s just the colostrum changing the consistency of her stool, and it’s harmless.

Hilary Flower’s book contains lots of cute and informative little cartoons like this one (page 59).

Nursing a baby and a toddler

During the course of about 10 days, your colostrum will gradually change into transitional milk.  You needn’t worry about your toddler taking all the colostrum.  It doesn’t “run out.”  It just slowly changes from thick and clear to runny and creamy during the first two months.

There are so many ways to tandem nurse. Some women nurse both children at the same time. Some find it important to establish limits for the older child. You may give it a go and then decide that tandem nursing is not for you. Your toddler may decide to wean, or he may want to nurse more than the newborn (ahem, that’s what happened at our house).

Whatever your tandem nursing journey brings, it is important that you feel supported in your decisions. There is not one way to breastfeed. Just like other aspects of motherhood, trial and error is the name of the game. Try it (or not), see if it works, change, grow, make mistakes. You are not alone!

My experience with tandem nursing

Steven was born when Gianina was 18 months old. She nursed once or twice a day while I was pregnant. Besides some discomfort in the beginning of my pregnancy, I found nursing to be the easiest way to relax. When Steven was born, he wanted to nurse way more than I ever imagined possible. And when he nursed, Gianina wanted to nurse, too. The first time that she nursed after his birth I remember her pointing to my breast as if to say, “There’s milk now!” She seemed to fatten up though she was eating less table food. Her poop started to resemble newborn poop.

Breastfeeding was very important to Gianina after Steven was born.

One of my friends said to me, “Good for you that you were able to keep nursing Gianina. I never could have breastfed in tandem.”

But I didn’t ever consider tandem nursing to be the more difficult route. In fact, I didn’t feel like weaning Gianina because for us, weaning would have been more stressful.

I felt very alone in my tandem breastfeeding life, which is why reading about other mothers’ experiences meant so much to me.  Questions and doubts would run through my mind, but I kept them to myself because I knew that most people, including my pediatrician, would just tell me to stop nursing.

Here at Breastfeeding World we know that motherhood is a time when we need to stick together, learn from each other, and support each other’s choices.  Thanks for being a part of our community!

Do you have some inspiring tandem nursing stories that you would like to share with other mothers drop us a comment below!  Do you have other questions about nursing a newborn and a toddler, drop us a comment below as well!

Be sure to join us in our social media accounts and be up to date with the progress of our project!

And… Don’t forget to share your brelfies using our hashtag

#BreastfeedingWorld

[col1][/col1]

[col2][/col2]

[col3][/col3]

Anne Kathryn Rice

Anne Kathryn Rice is an American mother of two strong willed children living on the Italian Riviera. She writes about motherhood and listening to your inner voice, even when cultural expectations, baby books, and impromptu advice seem to challenge your instincts. You can read more about her personal experiences on her blog.

www.lovegrowdiscover.com

The post Will I still make colostrum if I am nursing my toddler? appeared first on Breastfeeding World.

Mindfulness in birth and parenting is not easy and usually not intuitive, but if you can learn a few techniques for appreciating the present moment, you can get on the road to living a happier, more peaceful life.

One reason that becoming a parent is so crazy and powerful is that after you do all this work to labor and push a baby out of you, the work does not end.  You have to find a new normal, and life will never be the same.  I sometimes feel like I am in grief, longing for the life that I once had.  On the good days, though, I have started to develop a strategy that really helps me to keep my chin up and even be thankful that I have these little people in my life. And I must give immense credit to them, my children. They are teaching me mindfulness.  If you can learn how to do it, it may even help you to treasure your new life as a mom.

Mindfulness in Labor and Birth

In my first birth (5 years ago), when I felt a contraction coming I would say to myself, “NOOO! Here comes another one! Please don’t come, please don’t come, I’m not ready for you, I don’t like you!”  And do you know what happened? My labor slowed down. The contractions stopped coming, or they would come in weak little waves (that still hurt!).  I literally kept my labor from progressing WITH MY MIND. 

In my second birth (only 18 months after the first), I learned my lesson. The waves rushed over me.  I acknowledged what I was feeling, but I didn’t analyze the feeling. I noticed it for what it was: a contraction.  “This is a contraction. It hurts.  My uterus is little by little helping my baby out.”

By noticing my feelings and accepting them, I somehow freed up some energy that enabled me to carry on.

Here’s another example of a woman slowing down her labor by avoiding her fears.  In the documentary film Birth Story: Ina May Gaskin and the Farm Midwives, Ina May tells this story.  After a heart to heart, the mother finally admitted that she and her partner had written their own marriage vows and together they had decided to leave out “until death do us part.” Deep down inside, she was worried that he might leave her. Ina May somehow helped the woman to acknowledge this fear and quickly called a priest.  They did an impromtu wedding ceremony with the words, “until death do us part.” The baby was born shortly after.

Her fear was holding her back, but once she recognized it, it lost its power, and she was free.

Mindfulness during the postpartum months

It’s difficult to find space for mindfulness when you are busy falling in love..

Babies tend to occupy every space in your heart and every minute of your day (and night). During the first year of my babies’ lives I sometimes didn’t realize that I was sad or happy until I had about an hour away from them.  I literally had no idea how I felt because I was too busy worrying about someone else.

Try to make space in your day for noticing your feelings, your breathing, if you are hungry, thirsty, lonely, or worried. Ask a friend to come over, take advantage of any opportunity to take an extra long shower, or hire a postpartum doula to take care of the practical side of life while you figure things out.  I know that carving out 10 minutes for mindfulness might seem impossible if you have a newborn because you literally need a village of people to take care of everything, but consider your mental health and how it affects the baby. Only by recognizing your feelings can you live in response to them, making changes that put you and your family on the path to happiness.

Mindfulness in the toddler years

She’s finally asleep and I don’t even know what to think…

These are years of whining, discovery, glorious messes, and oh my sweet heavens are you STILL waking up at night?

It’s hard to be mindful when you are sleep deprived, I know. Sometimes just getting through the day is a struggle. But instead of trying to get to the next moment and counting down the minutes until your child finally falls asleep, try to be in the moment with him/her. What is he feeling right now? Will he remember this moment when he is older? If you are walking together and he stops to notice something, notice it with him. If he is screaming and frustrated, give him words for his feelings, “you are feeling frustrated.” Knowing what is going on inside him makes those big feelings less scary. Then, one day, he will hopefully learn to live in the moment, too, make healthy choices for himself, and appreciate all that this life has to offer.

Our lives are only a short snippet in the history of mankind. Taking time to truly feel our joy, pain, or peace, will enrich our days and those of our children. Simply knowing what we are feeling empowers us to make choices that are the right choices for us in that moment.

Are you able to stay in the present moment when you are with your children? I would love to hear your tips and tricks, because I am still figuring out how to incorporate it into my daily life!

Be sure to join us in our social media accounts to be up to date with the progress of our project!

And… Don’t forget to share your brelfies using our hashtag

#BreastfeedingWorld

[col1][/col1]

[col2][/col2]

[col3][/col3]

Anne Kathryn Rice

Anne Kathryn Rice is an American mother of two strong willed children living on the Italian Riviera. She writes about motherhood and listening to your inner voice, even when cultural expectations, baby books, and impromptu advice seem to challenge your instincts. You can read more about her personal experiences on her blog.

www.lovegrowdiscover.com

The post Mindfulness in birth and parenting appeared first on Breastfeeding World.

Privacy is not important to everyone

Let’s compare pooping and birthing.  One is daily business. The other is like running a marathon and the prize is a miracle that will change your life forever. You may not have never considered this, but childbirth and pooping have one big thing in common: you’ve got to be relaxed to push something out of you (no matter how big it is).

How can you stay relaxed when a person is making its way out of your vagina? Actually, it’s possible, it’s just that most women don’t have very much experience with what works best for them because we only do this once or at most a few times in life. We do have experience for optimal pooping conditions, though.  Let’s observe and learn from this daily experience.

Answer these three questions, and keep them in mind as you envision your ideal birth.

Are you able to poop with someone watching you?

Who will be with you at your birth? Your husband, your midwife, your doula, your doctor? Most people prefer to do their daily business alone (unless you are four years old), but just imagine for a second if one of those people were in the bathroom with you. Could you proceed as normal? Keep this information about yourself in mind during your labor. If things seem to be slowing down, you may need more privacy.  Make sure that you feel completely comfortable with the chosen people around you. Don’t be afraid to express your need to be alone with specific people.  Sometimes I wonder if the reason my daughter’s birth was really long is because I could sense negativity from certain midwives.

Where are you most comfortable?

What scents make you feel at home and relaxed?

There are certain places where I just can’t do it. Portable stalls at the fair, certain people’s houses, in the woods. I have tried, but it just doesn’t come. Your body knows if your mind is unsure of your surroundings. In order to be able to relax and push, you need to feel comfortable. Keep comfort and familiarity in mind when choosing your birth location. Get a tour of the hospital or birthing center.  Will you feel comfortable in this place?  If you are in a hospital room, what can you do to make the room seem more like home? A certain scent, music, or dim lights? Ask if you can wear your own pajamas. The more relaxed you are, the easier and less painful pushing will be.

Can you do your business in a hurry?

Sometimes we need time, and we need to know that no one cares about our pacing.  Beware of watching the clock very much during your labor and birth. It really doesn’t matter.

“It’s been 10 hours already and I’m only at 5 centimeters. That’s about 2 hours per centimeter…”

This kind of thinking could prove to be counterproductive.  There’s no way to calculate the baby’s time of arrival. If you don’t believe me just ask Joi, who went from 0 to four centimeters in 40 hours, and four centimeters to a baby on her chest in 40 minutes!

What if someone knocks on your bathroom door when you are halfway finished with your morning poop and says,

“We are giving you a winning lottery ticket in exactly one minute and if you are not done pooping we will give it to someone else!”

Would you win the lottery? That’s kind of what happens in the delivery room sometimes, and the baby is the prize. Not only are nurses and doctors on a schedule, but well-meaning staff and family just want to meet the precious baby and see you happy, so they encourage you to “hurry up.” But with birth, as with pooping, there is no real timeframe. There’s a lot of normal. We just need to do our thing and not be bothered.

Are you thinking, “Oh no, I only do my business alone, in my home, with no worries about time. How will I ever push a baby out with people watching me in a hospital, possibly telling me I need to hurry?”

I’ve got good news for you.

The good news is your uterus. It’s a powerful organ.

Your uterus is one giant difference between childbirth and pooping. As it contracts, it pushes your baby towards the birth canal. Your uterus is on your side, bringing your baby to you. Even if you have observers in your room, your chances of having a vaginal birth are still really good, you just might be able to knock some time off of your labor if you can recreate your relaxed atmosphere.

So, if you are so inclined, bring out the candles, throw away the clocks, and kindly let that nurse that you’ve never seen before know that she can go visit someone else.

You’ve got a baby to push out.

How did you stay relaxed during your labor and delivery?  Was there anything about your surroundings that made you anxious?

Be sure to join us in our social media accounts to be up to date with the progress of our project!

And… Don’t forget to share your brelfies using our hashtag

#BreastfeedingWorld

[col1][/col1]

[col2][/col2]

[col3][/col3]

Anne Kathryn Rice

Anne Kathryn Rice is an American mother of two strong willed children living on the Italian Riviera. She writes about motherhood and listening to your inner voice, even when cultural expectations, baby books, and impromptu advice seem to challenge your instincts. You can read more about her personal experiences on her blog.

www.lovegrowdiscover.com

The post How you poop best is how you birth best appeared first on Breastfeeding World.

“If you don’t finish your peas, no ice cream!”

I’ve been sneaky:

“No, I promise I did not just grate an apple into the cookie batter!”

I’ve bribed:

“If you just taste it I will play Candyland with you.”

I’ve sounded really convincing:

“mmm these brussel sprouts are amazing!”

But I decided to change my game plan the other night.

I was determined to get our children to eat new foods without manipulating them.

Vegetables were the only food I cooked.  I didn’t mash them or hide them in anything.  I grabbed all the produce in my fridge and pantry.

carrots, sweet potatoes, regular potatoes, fennel, onion, and garlic

I chopped it all in big chunks, threw all the pieces on an oven tray lined with waxed paper, and drizzled it with olive oil (the good kind), oregano, and salt.

chopped, seasoned, and ready to go in the oven

I also had two eggplants so I figured that they could go in the oven, too.

eggplant, garlic, pink salt, oregano, and honey on a spoon.

I sliced the eggplants in half, ran a knife through them a few times, and topped them with oregano, lemon juice, chopped garlic, and honey (toddlers love honey).

ready to join the vegetables in the oven

While the veggies baked, I threw anything that seemed like salad into a bowl.

Lettuce, avocado, corn from a can, lemon juice, and olive oil (the good kind)

When the vegetables were soft (after about 30 minutes on a medium high temperature), the end result was very colorful.

dinner is served

My toddlers did not eat everything on their plates (I’m not superwoman or magic, after all), but that’s not the point.

The point is that SEEING new food is the first step to EATING new food. All the pieces on this plate are recognizable, so even if they didn’t eat everything, they saw what each vegetable looked like and will remember them next time.  So much of picky toddler eating is about them not wanting to take risks.  They’ve got to make friends with the food first, then they’ll go out on a limb and maybe pick it up.

The other great thing about this dinner is that my toddlers could practice cutting the potato, carrot, or avocado because they were nice and soft.  Sometimes, even after saying, “Yuck I don’t want that,” my kids will help me cut my food, then accidentally get a taste somehow. Sometimes they even change their minds completely and decide they want to try it, as long as I do a really good job of acting like I don’t care (which usually requires that I actually not care.)

In the end, four-year-old Gianina ate only sweet potato.  She picked out every piece of sweet potato and mashed it with her fork, saying that she is a baby so she has to eat mashed foods.

“Only sweet potato please”

Maybe next time she’ll pick out all of the pieces of corn from the salad.  It doesn’t really matter to me, as long as she is trying new foods because she wants to explore and be brave.  I know that she is smart enough not to go hungry.

It’s my job to present a wide variety healthy food in a tasty way.  It’s their job to decide what to eat.

What about you? How do you get your toddlers to try new foods?

Be sure to join us in our social media accounts to be up to date with the progress of our project!

And… Don’t forget to share your brelfies using our hashtag

#BreastfeedingWorld

[col1][/col1]

[col2][/col2]

[col3][/col3]

Anne Kathryn Rice

Anne Kathryn Rice is an American mother of two strong willed children living on the Italian Riviera. She writes about motherhood and listening to your inner voice, even when cultural expectations, baby books, and impromptu advice seem to challenge your instincts. You can read more about her personal experiences on her blog.

www.lovegrowdiscover.com

The post How to get your toddler to eat new foods appeared first on Breastfeeding World.