“Self care” is so hot right now. Personally, just saying that phrase gets me a bit nauseous.
What does it even mean? Maybe I’m projecting because I don’t “practice” it, or feel like I have time to practice it. But really, its seems like all the top executives from all the leisure activities people love, got together and said, “we need to make these already expensive and luxurious items super elusive and market them to parents who have ZERO time do to them- and make them feel bad about it.” Job well done!
It’s not that I don’t want to take a warm, Lavender Epsom Salt bath wearing the new Honest mud mask while sipping full moon crystal charged Berkey water from a hand thrown ceramic mug I bought on my kid-free staycation last Tuesday when I took some “me time” in the middle of the afternoon… Because believe me, I want to. Its just that, I can’t. And I am someone who ‘comes from a place of Yes’ as they say!
But really, self-care, you are out of control. Your expectations of me are way too high- borderline unattainable.
Before the new “self care” term came about, it meant something to drink a hot cup of coffee in the morning. Or wipe alone (after going to the bathroom with your 1 year old on your lap and toddler sitting on her mini potty at your feet). Those were stolen moments that translated to caring for yourself or being mindful of your sanity. Now, unless I’m hiring a sitter to watch the kids so I can sit in the Himalayan Salt Room after a Reiki session and sound therapy I’m not effectively taking care of myself and therefore not doing right by my kids. Holy moly. Self care.
“Self Care” because I’m drinking water AND going to the bathroom. Double whammy. 😉
And I am the worst offender! I was talking to a friend at a playdate for my youngest the other day and she was opening up to me about how exhausted she is working and parenting. I heard myself say, “sounds like you really need to practice some self care.” There it is, rearing its ugly head again! What does that even mean? She gave me a knowing look like I offered her sage advice from the Dalai Lama. Ah yes, Self Care. I’m sure I’ll run into her at the next Aromatherapy for Spiritual Awakening Kirtan.
Here are my tips for r e a l self care. Brace yourself…
- Drink a cup of coffee, tea or warm water at some point before noon. Even if it means you had to microwave it 1,2,3 times.
- Set an intention to shower at least twice a week. Baby wipes do count for a last minute fix during the week.
- Fit in one Netflix binge at night after the kids are sleeping (if you are one of the lucky ones)
- Eat one spoonful of Cool-Whip straight from the container at least once a week and don’t feel anything but joy about it.
- Take a deep breath of fresh air when you step outside to get your mail.
- Be gentle on yourself- we are all doing everything we can to raise wonderful, functional children.
I promise to practice self care this week- I mean, hey, I put on clean socks this morning after I cleaned up the dog poop from the rug AND I already had my coffee…and its well before noon. Self care for the win!
A birth doula formerly out of Brooklyn, we moved our family to the foot of Mt Beacon in the Hudson Valley, NY. Between raising two kids, a greyhound and a sphynx cat- and supporting birthing people and their families through pregnancy, childbirth and postpartum, I have my hands full- and my heart more so! My life is a constant stream of breastmilk, grocery shopping and gratitude.
