That’s where we ended up.

Wet nurse: a woman who breastfeeds and cares for another woman’s child.

In our case, our wet nurse was a friend of mine who was watching my son while I went to work. She breastfed her own daughter, and had an oversupply of milk. When she offered to nurse my son, I wasn’t too sure. But what do we think women did before the 20th century?

Before the times of formula and pumping, women were nursing other women’s babies.

Image Source: DomesticGeekGirl.com

I returned to work at about eight weeks post partum, and that’s when I started pumping. I didn’t pump a large stash before going back to work. Unfortunately, even though I pumped every 2 hours and nursed my son at lunch, but we found out he wouldn’t take a bottle. For a little while we made do because he would end up nursing the entire night and sleep all day. Team no sleep for mama. But he needed more than that.

That’s when my friend offered to help wet nurse.

As weird as it was for me (at first) I was so grateful for the help. It made life easier on me and less stressful. It made life easier on my husband because I no longer freaked out all the time. I could go to work and not worry about the pumping, the clean up, or that my son wouldn’t take a bottle. It was easy on my friend too because she could nurse both her daughter and wet nurse my son at the same time!

A lot of people thought it was weird. They would say, “Why don’t you just give him formula.” Clearly, they didn’t get the issue here.

We made it work. Always do what’s best for your family- which is what we did. I nursed my son at drop off, my lunch break, and when I picked him up. My friend would text me to see when I was coming to make sure she didn’t wet nurse him, in case I was on my way. Once he started eating solids, he needed her less, but the option remained available to him. It felt so wonderful, knowing that he was still getting the breast-milk that I wanted him to get, even if it wasn’t coming from me 100% of the time.

This was all fine, dandy, and pretty wonderful until little man got older.

As he approached his first birthday, we noticed some changes. By all means, a lot of these changes were likely because of development and naturally…growing up. Things like tantrums and not listening to me. But we also noticed that he was becoming more attached to his sitter. She noticed it too- she probably noticed how it made me feel before I did.

When I would go to pick him up after work, he didn’t want to come to me.

He would cry when I would pick him up and when he wanted to nurse, he no longer wanted me to nurse him.

That hurt like hell.

Seeing my own child reach for another woman as if she was his mother broke my heart

I went home on many occasions – crying, telling my husband that I am a horrible mother. I asked him if I made the wrong decision. It’s not a fun place to be in. He constantly reminded me that it is a good thing that our son cared for his sitter. She took care of our baby as if he were her own. He felt safe with her, and could find comfort when I wasn’t around. Yes, that’s all fantastic- but it still hurt me. I’m his mother.

Like I said, my friend noticed how it was making me feel and it took awhile before we finally sat and talked about it. A few tears (okay, a lot) and a glass or two of wine later, we figured some things out. During my lunch breaks, she left with her daughter to the park, or took her upstairs just to do something away from us. She gave us time to just be together. That was actually one of the best things we did. My son and I could re-bond with each other in those 45-60 minute sessions. Even if we weren’t nursing the entire time, it was just him and I, together. Once we were about a month or two away from him turning one, we slowly weaned him from her. We didn’t wean him from breastfeeding completely (he’s still nursing today at two).

We decided that he was mostly eating solids and nursing only in the evenings anyway, that he didn’t need to nurse from my friend anymore. He still got breastmilk in the mornings at drop off, lunch, and at pick up from me, then all evening. He was still getting the milk and he wanted me. I became his comfort and his safe place again.

Would I use a wet nurse again?

The answer to that is: yes. As I sit here writing this post, I am preparing to go back to work again after having my daughter. She will be a little over four months when I go back and she is also not a fan of the bottle. I am not too worried about her favoring the bottle more than the breast anymore. I know what it’s like to not be able to give my baby a bottle at all. But at the same time, I am not stressing out about whether or not my baby will eat. We did a lot of learning the first time and not all babies are the same, even if they are brother and sister. So, who knows what’s going to happen. But we have a better idea and understanding of what could happen and how to help.

The bottom line is: I am incredibly thankful for a friend that was kind enough to offer to help us out. That’s a lot of dedication and strength on her part to nurse two babies at once, one not even being hers. And I am thankful for the fact that my husband and I were both open enough to the idea of using a wet nurse.

You have to do what’s best for you- and for your baby.

Be sure to join us in our social media accounts to be up to date with the progress of our project!

And… Don’t forget to share your brelfies using our hashtag

#BreastfeedingWorld

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Abigail Dougherty

A 27 year old from Wisconsin but currently stationed in California with a happy marriage and two rainbow babies. Abigail is currently in the Navy and is also a certified personal trainer. I am a kinesiology major who plans to use her knowledge to help her do more in the fitness industry. She’s a breastfeeding, cloth diapering, essential oil using, gym freak, babywearing, kind of mom. Abigail loves empowering and encouraging women to be who they are and to take pride in that.

The post Why Letting Your Baby Wet Nurse isn’t the End of the World appeared first on Breastfeeding World.

Then it hit me.

Three months is the half-way point to some of the milk I have in the freezer approaching its bad date.

This got me thinking, I knew that we were not going to use all of the milk I have in the freezer over the next three months. Especially since every morning I have to pump (okay not HAVE to but I like to have a small stash in the freezer and that one pump per day gives me that peace of mind) and if I do not give that to my son, it goes into the freezer. My daughter does not like bottles and I do not feel the need to force the matter right now, I am thankful to be a stay at home mom for that reason, so the stash just keeps building. I wondered what I could do with the milk, since I absolutely refuse to let it go bad in the freezer and have to go to the dreaded place where other spoiled food goes (I am not even going to say the word).

I have heard of people baking with their breastmilk, using it in place of the milk that would normally go in the recipe, using it for milk baths, in lotions and more. While I was very interested in all of those things, they did not strike me as THE thing I wanted to do with something so precious to me. My breastmilk represents so much; it epitomizes my fight, my struggle, my determination and ultimately, my success and I wanted it to do something awesome.

A friend of mine, with a very giving soul, has posted before about breastmilk donation. She has done amazing things and helped so many moms who wanted their child to have breastmilk but could not breastfeed. I watched her send off tremendous amounts of breastmilk to families. I revered how she worked tirelessly to rebuild her stash just to send it off again.

I knew this is what I wanted to do with my milk.

I wish I had known about milk donation when my son was a baby and our breastfeeding journey unfortunately ended. Having now entered the donation community, I am absolutely amazed at the resilience these moms show; how they diligently work to make sure their babies always have breastmilk. I felt a strong need to be a part of this, to contribute to something I admire so greatly.

my sweet boy

As I contacted my first mom, I had no idea what this journey had in store for me. Our locations were the first thing to consider, I am close by another donor of hers, which made the trip worthwhile for the amount of milk I had available to donate. The next step was a battery of questions to make sure our lifestyles were comparable and that my milk was right for their family. The questions absolutely blew me away, not in the sense that they were really surprising, but more that I was surprised that I had not considered that there would be lifestyle questions. Of course there would be! This is something they are putting in their child’s body, this is what is providing their child with everything they need to survive, something they are giving to the most precious thing in their lives.

The questions were personal, ranging from my medical history (contact with any blood born pathogens, HIV or hepatitis, etc) to my basic lifestyle choices (recreational drug or alcohol use and diet) and of course questions about the care and handling of the milk itself. After answering the thirty-two questions, the parents decided that we were a match, my milk would be right for their family. My milk was good enough for their child. I was surprised at how important that was to me. Not only was my milk good enough for my baby, it was good enough for someone else’s.

I pictured letting go of my milk being difficult, but it wasn’t.

As I watched it go, I knew that it was going to be loved, that it was needed, that it was going to the best possible place it could go. I felt the upmost pride and happiness in knowing that my milk would be used to help another child grow and thrive, that a mom was able to breastfeed her baby in her own way, because of us. That is the greatest gift I could have received.

Milk donation is amazing

Not only to the family receiving it but for the family donating it as well. I cannot wait until I build up enough milk to donate again. I would love to hear about other experiences with milk donation, donors and receivers alike!

Be sure to join us in our social media accounts to be up to date with the progress of our project!

And… Don’t forget to share your brelfies using our HT #BreastfeedingWorld 

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Samantha Sykula

Born and raised in NY, I studied speech and language pathology at NYU. I am a stay at home mom to two beautiful children, Richard and Charlotte and wife to my wonderful husband, Rich. I have always had a deep love for learning, which has grown further since becoming a mother, I am always looking for new ways to enrich our lives. Becoming a mother changed my life, I learned compassion, caring and most importantly, true love. I hope to share the experiences of my breastfeeding, cloth diapering, babywearing, crocheting, full of love, life.

The post Sharing The Love: Milk Donation appeared first on Breastfeeding World.