I have a wish deep down inside. With complete unison of thoughts and feelings, I wish that every mother truly believed she is enough. Enough; meaning plentiful, abundant, ample, competent, sufficient, the right amount. Have you ever heard a mother say, “Yeah, but I want to be more than enough”? Well, it’s impossible. She simply does not exist. Unfortunately, many will make themselves miserable trying to attain such perfection.

This is a serious sickness that is plaguing mothers in Western Society.

Striving is certainly nothing new. And it often comes from a place of good intention. But parents are almost constantly bombarded from Pinterest, Instagram, Facebook, and Twitter. They are influienced with images on ‘How to Have “a Perfect Life.” Because of that, many mothers are burdened with surmounting pressure. Either they become paralyzed by feelings of inadequacy, or they get catapulted into an unhealthy frenzy of chasing an illusion of perfection. It truly is a chasing after the wind, and this is eroding away at the well being of genuinely good and excellent mothers. Mothers who are simply amazing, and who are enough for their children.

Other Posts You May Like:

[left] Moms need to be told they are enough, By Betty Cortez [/left]

[right] Motherhood and Priorities, Running after a Train You’ll never catch, By Lauren Lewis [/right]

[left] 7 Ways to Support your Nursing Wife, By  [/left]

[right] 3 Ways to Become a Mentally Strong Mom, By Paige Christian [/right]

Donald Winicott, a British pediatrician and psychoanalyst of the 1950’s observed an interesting phenomenon with thousands of mothers, their babies and children.

He came to the conclusion that babies and children actually benefit from imperfect parenting. Imagine that!

Children do really well when their mothers fail them in ordinary ways. The point is that as children grow, they need to learn from their mother or primary caretakers. The lesson: that they live in an imperfect world. And so they learn that that world doesn’t revolve around them. Winnicot coined a phrase called “The good enough mother” in honor of this process. It’s an important process. One which every child must go through in order to be resilient enough to withstand the dissatisfaction, disappointments, setbacks, and trials that will inevitably come their way throughout their lifetime.

So, the next time you’re struggling with that mommy guilt, or wondering if you are enough for your children, just remember that your short comings, your weaknesses, and imperfections do serve a purpose. Repeat aloud this mantra to yourself “I am a good mother.” Kids will be good enough adults if we give our good enough selves to them now. It’s not perfection, but it’s real and that is enough.

Be sure to join us in our social media accounts and get up to date with the progress of our project!

And… Don’t forget to share your brelfies using our hashtag

#BreastfeedingWorld

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Paige Christian

I’m a proud midwesterner who loves the simple and beautiful things in life. I’m currently a SAHM and loving this season in life where I am privileged to be with my two precious toddlers all day and night. My career focus is in social work. I received my MSW from Asbury University in 2012 and am a licensed social worker. My passions are counseling, writing, researching, teaching, inspiring, and encouraging others, especially mothers. My mama style consists of breastfeeding, cloth diapering, baby led weaning, baby wearing, and some positive parenting approaches. I’m also a mama blogger at My Joyful Nest where I like to encourage mothers on their own journeys.

www.myjoyfulnest.com

The post What You Should Know About the Perfection Plague Ruining our Motherhood appeared first on Breastfeeding World.

Outside of pregnancy, breastfeeding is a journey that will require more of her than she ever thought possible. Any nursing mother knows the hard work and dedication, the pain and the tears, the closeness and the joy, the consistent surrendering and offering of her own body to meet the needs of her baby. It’s a powerful and beautiful bond that is unique and personal between each mother and baby.

Now you would think that something so natural as breastfeeding would come easy, and at times it does, but just as mother nature has these things called natural disasters, breastfeeding mothers have trials of their own that they have to overcome. Thankfully there are many resources and a plethora of information available for breastfeeding mothers.

However, in comparison to the amount of information concerning the beginning and middle phases of breastfeeding, there’s not as much openness or talk about the ending phases of breastfeeding in relation to a mother’s emotions.

Have you ever heard of post-weaning depression?

In my experience, I felt unprepared for how sad and even disappointed I would feel when both of my children self-weaned. I remember in the very early days, dreaming about the end of breastfeeding.  I couldn’t imagine that breastfeeding would get any easier, let alone become enjoyable- but it did. Toward the middle of our journey, I found myself wanting to nurse until my youngest turned two. Then, just a few months after her first birthday, she self weaned. When the end came, the last drop of milk gone, I was left with salty tears. In some ways it felt like a rejection by my own children. I always thought that I would initiate the end of our breastfeeding relationship. I found myself experiencing loss, and didn’t feel ready to give up the one thing that only I could provide for my babies.

After researching, reading, and confiding in other mothers, I found that my feelings towards weaning were very common.

In fact, many mothers experience feelings of sadness and even depression during and after the weaning process. Weaning marks a significant change in the mother-child relationship. There’s also research which shows that hormonal changes play a part in these feelings of sadness. Hormone levels of oxytocin and prolactin, which create feelings of happiness, drop during the weaning process. I discovered that it was also normal for mothers to feel relieved and happy during and after the weaning process. Some mothers feel completely “touched out” and are ready for the transition. Sometimes the child has a harder time letting go of the breastfeeding relationship. Other mothers may experience anxiety, irritability, or mood swings.

The point is that there are various reasons for weaning, and there are variations of normal when it comes to how a mother and child may feel during and after that process. The important part is for mom to be aware and able to recognize and accept those emotions, whatever they are, and then find a new normal for herself, the child, and their relationship.

Finally, If you are having a difficult time coping with some of these feelings and need help finding a new normal, look here for some excellent tips. And if difficult feelings don’t subside after a few weeks of weaning, don’t be afraid or hesitant to seek professional help.

Read Now, or Pin for later. Whatever you choose, we thank you for helping our mission to normalize breastfeeding by “sharing the breastfeeding love.”

Taking care of yourself is the best decision you could make for you and your family, and rest assured that other moms have been there. The ending of breastfeeding can be just as difficult as it was starting out, but try to treasure the time that you had, and remember there is hope for feeling better, and new adventures to be had with your child. We get it, and we are cheering you on!

Be sure to join us in our social media accounts to be up to date with the progress of our project!

And… Don’t forget to share your brelfies using our hashtag

#BreastfeedingWorld

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[col2][/col2]

[col3][/col3]

Paige Christian

I’m a proud midwesterner who loves the simple and beautiful things in life. I’m currently a SAHM and loving this season in life where I am privileged to be with my two precious toddlers all day and night. My career focus is in social work. I received my MSW from Asbury University in 2012 and am a licensed social worker. My passions are counseling, writing, researching, teaching, inspiring, and encouraging others, especially mothers. My mama style consists of breastfeeding, cloth diapering, baby led weaning, baby wearing, and some positive parenting approaches. I’m also a mama blogger at My Joyful Nest where I like to encourage mothers on their own journeys.

www.myjoyfulnest.com

The post What happens to me when my baby is weaning? appeared first on Breastfeeding World.