Lissa James – Breastfeeding World https://breastfeedingworld.org Spreading the Breastfeeding Love, One Latch at a Time Wed, 17 Jun 2020 03:52:40 +0000 en-US hourly 1 https://wordpress.org/?v=4.9.8 https://i1.wp.com/breastfeedingworld.org/wp-content/uploads/2015/08/cropped-BFWorld_logo-16x16.png?fit=32%2C32&ssl=1 Lissa James – Breastfeeding World https://breastfeedingworld.org 32 32 96133341 Motherhood: When Breastfeeding Doesn’t Work Out https://breastfeedingworld.org/2015/12/motherhood-when-breastfeeding-doesnt-work-out/ https://breastfeedingworld.org/2015/12/motherhood-when-breastfeeding-doesnt-work-out/#respond Tue, 15 Dec 2015 21:00:45 +0000 http://breastfeedingworld.org/?p=2729 It is easy to look online and find inspiring stories of women who breastfed for many years with no problems. There are also tales of motherhood, women who overcame obstacles in the beginning and went on to have wonderful breastfeeding relationships after a few months of hardship. But what about the Moms who want to breastfeed, but are unable to? Their stories […]

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It is easy to look online and find inspiring stories of women who breastfed for many years with no problems. There are also tales of motherhood, women who overcame obstacles in the beginning and went on to have wonderful breastfeeding relationships after a few months of hardship. But what about the Moms who want to breastfeed, but are unable to? Their stories are just as important. I would like to share with you the journey a dear friend of mine is embarking on with motherhood. It is a tale of expectations, disappointment, and sadness, but it is also a tale of discovery, courage, and unconditional love. I hope that it will inspire and encourage a few new mothers out there who might be struggling, the same way it has inspired and touched me. 

One Mother’s Story: How to Cope With Motherhood when Breastfeeding Doesn’t Work Out

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The Haviland Family- Kati, Vivian and Jared

My first five months postpartum were some of the darkest days I’ve ever experienced. As a person who had long wanted a child, I had a completely different vision in my head of how motherhood would be but reality kicked me in the ass quickly:

My husband and Mom were there to coach and help me through the pain of delivery. I had asked for an epidural halfway through labor but I kept being held off because the on-call midwife “didn’t want me to set myself up for a C-section.” I was angry because I felt as though she wasn’t taking my pain seriously. When I finally got an epidural, of course I was fully dilated, so I pushed for nearly 4 hours only to end up needing an emergency C-section anyway. I was beyond exhausted and I just wanted my baby to be safe and healthy.

katihospital

The first two days in the hospital I was in a lot of pain but I was managing. Vivian and I were working on breastfeeding with the help of a lactation consultant, and my husband, Jared, would help when she wasn’t there. It wasn’t easy and hurt like hell but I had hope that it would improve as time went on. By the third day Vivian had jaundice so instead of going home she was sent to the NICU for light therapy. I was devastated.

There is no worse feeling than seeing your baby hooked up to a million wires and not being able to hold her. I cried and cried and cried, not just from the stress of seeing her in that state, but from the physical pain my body was in after such a grueling labor and delivery. Breastfeeding started to become very difficult at this point for us. I knew I had plenty of milk supply but Vivian was crying and struggling to latch and I was crying out of pain and frustration. A nurse offered a small bottle of formula and I gladly accepted.

After nearly 6 days in the hospital, we were finally able to go home. I hadn’t seen the outside world for nearly a week. My body was horribly swollen from all the drugs that had been pumped into my system. I remember the relief I felt as soon as I stepped inside my house. I had thought everything would get better once I was home but again, the universe had different plans.

kati1month

Breastfeeding continued to be a struggle. My nipples were cracked and bleeding. Even water hitting them while taking a shower was horribly painful. Vivian would cry every time (as would I) and when I did get her to latch, she would fall asleep fairly quickly. She still suckled while her eyes were closed so I assumed she was getting enough to eat. When I took her to her first doctor appointment, she had only gained an ounce over a week. Mentally everything was taking a big toll, so the doctor sent me home with several types of formula to supplement with.  I felt like a huge failure.

I didn’t want Vivian associating eating with stress so I decided to try pumping to make things easier, but it was harder. I would sleep through alarms I had set at night to get up to pump, and when Jared was back at work, I had no clue how to pump and hold the baby. I would only pump 3 to 4 times in the evening while he was home and started doing half formula and half breastmilk. I did this for five weeks and then made the choice to do straight formula. Her next several doctor appointments were amazing –  she was gaining weight, growing steadily, and advancing mentally just as she should be. Her doctor reassured me that I was doing great with her. Because I had always planned on breastfeeding, I felt like a huge failure again even though she was doing so well. I had a huge fear of being judged by others because I was formula feeding my baby.

Jared was only able to have a week off of work so once he went back, I was absolutely terrified. My dad was able to come over in the mornings to help me but I cried constantly during the day being alone with Vivian and every evening when Jared got home, I’d cry again. I loved my baby but didn’t feel connected to her. I found myself waking up everyday feeling like I wanted to die. I would sob to my mom that maybe I had made the wrong choice in having a child. Maybe I wasn’t cut out to be a mother. My mental state was getting darker and darker and I didn’t know what to do. Poor Jared, who had been through all of this right alongside me, kept urging me to get help. He knew this was not who I was and I knew it was taking a huge toll on him.

At four months postpartum, I began seeing my counselor. I had seen her in the past when my grandma passed away so she knew me and my history well. After a few sessions, I was diagnosed with not only postpartum depression but also anxiety and PTSD from my traumatic labor and delivery. I tried anti-depressants for a short period but stopped them due to side effects. I started exercise again recently and plan to use that as my outlet to help me heal. I continue to get better everyday and know that I can get past everything.

Bottle feeding is beautiful, too.

Bottle feeding is beautiful, too.

I’m just now accepting the fact that it’s ok that I couldn’t breastfeed. I have a beautiful, healthy, HAPPY baby girl who is growing perfectly.

So what have I learned?
1. ASK FOR HELP. I was too stubborn and ashamed to admit to anyone but Jared that I was badly struggling with EVERYTHING. It’s possible that had I asked for more help, I may have had a better chance in being successful in breastfeeding.
2. It’s ok that I couldn’t breastfeed. Feeding my baby formula does not make me a bad mother. She’s fed, end of story.
3. I should have educated myself more on postpartum depression.
4. Motherhood is not all beautiful and fun and games as society likes to think. It’s really hard.
5. I should have been nicer to myself and learned to relax. It would have saved Jared and I both a lot of grief.
6. Jared and I have a much stronger relationship than I ever truly realized.
7. Crazy as it sounds, I’d go through it all again for my baby because I love her that much.
8. I am a great mother.

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A Letter to my Daughter: Mommy is Here https://breastfeedingworld.org/2015/11/letter-daughter-mommy/ https://breastfeedingworld.org/2015/11/letter-daughter-mommy/#respond Mon, 23 Nov 2015 12:55:56 +0000 http://breastfeedingworld.org/?p=2457 My Dearest Daughter, Sometimes in life terrible things happen; this can be hard to accept, but it is undeniably true. I hope to maintain your innocence for as long as possible, but I also want to be honest with you so that you will always have a realistic perspective on life. However, I have no idea how I will ever […]

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My Dearest Daughter,

Sometimes in life terrible things happen; this can be hard to accept, but it is undeniably true. I hope to maintain your innocence for as long as possible, but I also want to be honest with you so that you will always have a realistic perspective on life. However, I have no idea how I will ever explain that there are people in this world who are so full of hate that they would literally blow themselves up to hurt other people. I can’t fully comprehend this myself, so how can I possibly get your young mind and innocent heart to understand? I don’t want to, but somehow I will find a way.

I stare into your deep blue eyes and I feel so absolutely overwhelmed with love that it hurts. I will never know how someone could want to hurt you, or to hurt any innocent person for that matter. Perhaps it is not for us to understand, but we must somehow carry on and believe in the good so these people do not win. We must be good to those around us and not let the darkness of the world harden our spirit or our hearts. We must persevere, for you see, sweet angel, there will always be bad things happening and it is up to us how we choose to live our lives. Is it not wise to be the light, and to balance out the age-old tale of good vs. evil in our one life to live? I believe it is, and I will always guide you on that path, until you are old enough to choose one of your own. 

Mommy is here, Mommy is here always”

It is my goal in life, not to shield you from life’s atrocities, but to prepare you for them. To love you hard and full enough that you know no matter what happens, you always have a safe haven in me. If I could carry you forever, I would, but one day you will be as old as I am and it will be your turn to protect your little one’s from the hurt in this world. My job will be done, and you will know exactly what it felt like to live in a world full of hate, when you feel so much love. It is hard, Dear one, but don’t lose faith. There is always something to look forward to, always hope to be found. 

Someday you will hold your child in your arms the way I hold you now, with your ocean-blue eyes, curly red hair, and your sweet, milky skin on mine. You nuzzle safely into my arms and suckle from my breasts night after night and I know that nothing in this DadGraduation 3432world matters more than these moments. I would do anything, anything, to protect you and keep you safe. I will always be here for you, never forget that.  I love you a million times more than the hatred that consumes so many, and love will always win. 

So tonight as you close your eyes and fall asleep in my arms like you have done so many times before, I will whisper sweetly, “Sleep now, little one, your Mommy is here. Mommy is here, always.”

 

To the parents out there who are afraid, or are unsure of how to raise a child in a world capable of  evil, find solace in the little things. Hold your little one and know that you have experienced that most beautiful thing that life has to offer: love. In the wise words of John Lennon:

“All you need is love, love is all you need.”

Be sure to join us in our social media accounts to be up to date with the progress of our project!

And… Don’t forget to share your brelfies using our HT #BreastfeedingWorld 

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Holistic Treatment for Postpartum Depression and Anxiety https://breastfeedingworld.org/2015/10/story-treating-postpartum-anxiety-without-medication/ https://breastfeedingworld.org/2015/10/story-treating-postpartum-anxiety-without-medication/#respond Tue, 20 Oct 2015 22:00:57 +0000 http://breastfeedingworld.org/?p=2157 What happens when Postpartum Depression and Anxiety are taking over your life, but you aren’t comfortable taking medication while breastfeeding? This is a question I was forced to ask myself recently in the aftermath of a year of secluding myself, being afraid to leave the house, and having terrible mood swings, which usually left my fiance and I feeling broken […]

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What happens when Postpartum Depression and Anxiety are taking over your life, but you aren’t comfortable taking medication while breastfeeding? This is a question I was forced to ask myself recently in the aftermath of a year of secluding myself, being afraid to leave the house, and having terrible mood swings, which usually left my fiance and I feeling broken and embittered toward one another after a big fight. Thankfully we have gotten to a much better place with time, hard work, and dedication to one another, but most of my other relationships with family and friends have not fared quite as well. 

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Image courtesy of Babycenter.com

I did not know until starting therapy a few months ago, that I also have P.T.S.D. and Bipolar Disorder, which acted as a stimulant of sorts for my Postpartum Depression and Anxiety. I have had to find alternative ways to rewire my brain because I know I need to get better, but I don’t want my daughter getting medication through my breastmilk. There are antidepressants and anti-anxiety medications that are deemed safe while breastfeeding*, but it is a personal choice for me. Ultimately what I have found to work is doing yoga, going to therapy, writing, and painting. I think it is a great mixture because it covers all of the bases mentally, spiritually, and physically. Writing and painting happen to be something that fulfill me and make me happy; If you are seeking similar treatment but don’t enjoy either of these things, that is ok! Making time for anything that brings you joy will suffice. The point is to quiet your mind and feel like yourself again.

I started painting in high school, but stopped when I got pregnant because of the chemicals involved. Finally when I reached 12 months postpartum, I felt seriously inspired to start painting again and I decided to try watercolor instead of my usual acrylic oils, because it is less dangerous to use around my baby. I have been painting again for a few months and it has amazingly turned into a way for me to work from home, while also fulfilling my need to create.

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One of my Mermaids in progress. You can find more on instagram @mermamame

Around the time I started painting again, I began going to therapy as well. It took 3 months to finally go to an appointment without my daughter, but I am slowly gaining more courage and realizing that the sessions are more productive when I’m not distracted by my active toddler. Finally being able to leave home for an hour without her is proof of the progress I have made and it has been a good reminder for me that she will be ok even if I am not around. She has a great time with her dad and usually doesn’t even notice that I am gone! Talk about a reality-check.

Yoga is my latest endeavour and I can say that it is the perfect treatment for anxiety and depression! The practice, with ancient roots in India, aims to quiet the mind, and build strength both mentally, physically, and spiritually. Finding balance and peace from within, breathing out toxins and stress, it relaxes and restores the mind, making healing possible. I have gone four times so far and already I feel stronger. Whenever I start feeling sad or angry, I know it’s time to grab my mat and hit the studio. The practice of yoga itself helps to calm my fears and feel strength from within, easing the anxiety of being away from my daughter.

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Image courtesy of Spiritvoyage.com

When we exercise it releases feel good endorphins that help to correct the chemical imbalance that causes depression. Yoga is especially helpful for depression and anxiety because of the focus on deep breathing, clearing the mind, reaching within, and strengthening the body and mind. Yoga also builds important core strength and restores balance, which is especially important after having a baby because of the changes our bodies have gone through.

I am very fortunate that I have been able to see improvements with natural treatment, although I know it will be a long road. I still have setbacks and bad days, but knowing that what I am dealing with is a true mental illness makes it easier to understand and cope with. I am smiling more, loving harder, and feeling more hope than I have in a long time.

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My family on a recent outing to the Pumpkin Patch!

Whatever course of alternative treatment you choose, try to be aware of whether or not you see improvements after a couple of months. Remember that there is no one-size-fits-all for motherhood, and the same certainly applies to Postpartum Depression and Anxiety. For some people, alternative treatment will not be enough, but can aid greatly in healing when paired with medication.  Know your limits, and know that you are not alone. 

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Image courtesy of BotanicalBuddha.com

 

There is hope for us all and we will see the light again. Know your limits, reach within and begin to heal. You are not alone; we are in this together.

Be sure to join us in our social media accounts to be up to date with the progress of our project!

And… Don’t forget to share your brelfies using our HT #BreastfeedingWorld 

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*To inquire on whether a medication is safe while breastfeeding, please speak to your doctor, pharmacist, or  read here for more information. If you are having thoughts of hurting yourself or your child, please seek help immediately as you may be suffering from a more serious form of PPD known as Postpartum Psychosis.

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The Moby Wrap: A Babywearing “Gateway Drug” https://breastfeedingworld.org/2015/10/moby-wrap-babywearing-gateway-drug/ https://breastfeedingworld.org/2015/10/moby-wrap-babywearing-gateway-drug/#respond Tue, 06 Oct 2015 22:37:41 +0000 http://breastfeedingworld.org/?p=1778 Happy International Babywearing Week! When my daughter was a newborn, she nursed around the clock and I didn’t get off of the couch very often. After about 2 months of endless snuggles and Netflix marathons (not complaining), I decided something had to give because I needed to get things done around the house. I went out and bought my very […]

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Happy International Babywearing Week!

When my daughter was a newborn, she nursed around the clock and I didn’t get off of the couch very often. After about 2 months of endless snuggles and Netflix marathons (not complaining), I decided something had to give because I needed to get things done around the house. I went out and bought my very first Moby Wrap from a local consignment shop, watched a few YouTube tutorials to get the hang of putting it on, and it has been a babywearing love affair ever since!

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The skin-to-skin benefits of babywearing can ease anxiety for mom and baby, aid in milk production, and it also gives you the convenience of being hands free without having to carry around a bulky stroller. Not to mention, the upright position can be very beneficial for colicky, gassy, or reflux babies. That being said, I would like to introduce the first wrap I ever used: The Moby Wrap! It is a great wrap to start with, but it can be a bit intimidating at first.

I recently joked with a friend that The Moby Wrap is the “Gateway Drug” of baby carriers. From there I bought a Sling, Mei-Tei Sash, and eventually splurged on an Ergobaby, which I use now that Violet is 15 months-old and much heavier. The Moby Wrap was a great place to start because it kept her warm, cozy and close to me, all while being extremely affordable.

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Safety Check: Close enough to kiss, airway is clear, and the “seat belt” is fully covering her back giving an extra layer or protection. Good to go!

There are multiple ways to wear a Moby Wrap: the newborn hug holdhug holdhip hold, and the kangaroo wrap and hold. You can even breastfeed in a Moby! My favorite method is the hug hold. Whatever method you choose, have fun and make sure that safety is your first priority. A baby can be seriously injured or killed if positioned incorrectly, so please always ensure the safety of your little one while babywearing. It is also important to make sure that you are positioning the wrap ergonomically. (Click the links above for tutorials including pictures and videos on how to wear the Moby Wrap safely and correctly.)

I highly recommend trying a Moby Wrap, but be warned: You may become addicted to babywearing, which could lead to impulsive wearing of babies, and purchases of wraps, carriers, and slings galore!

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Daddy’s can babywear, too! Here is DB wearing Violet in our Mei – Sash when she was around 6 months old.

 

Wear them, keep them close, and be merry. Happy babywearing, friends.

 

We love to hear from you! What is your favorite way to wear your baby?

Be sure to join us in our social media accounts to be up to date with the progress of our project!

And… Don’t forget to share your brelfies using our HT #BreastfeedingWorld 

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Coping with Postpartum Depression and Anxiety while Breastfeeding https://breastfeedingworld.org/2015/09/coping-postpartum-depression-anxiety-breastfeeding/ https://breastfeedingworld.org/2015/09/coping-postpartum-depression-anxiety-breastfeeding/#respond Tue, 22 Sep 2015 23:48:23 +0000 http://breastfeedingworld.org/?p=1271 Your pregnancy went perfectly, and delivery was a breeze. Now your baby is here and motherhood is nothing but rainbows and sunshine! Riiight. Motherhood is beautiful, but it is not always the perfect picture it is painted to be, and that can be very hard for some women to cope with. Societal pressure, unrealistic expectations, shifting hormones, lack of sleep, and […]

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Your pregnancy went perfectly, and delivery was a breeze. Now your baby is here and motherhood is nothing but rainbows and sunshine! Riiight. Motherhood is beautiful, but it is not always the perfect picture it is painted to be, and that can be very hard for some women to cope with.

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Societal pressure, unrealistic expectations, shifting hormones, lack of sleep, and every other challenge that comes with new motherhood can lead to a serious condition that not every woman expects or knows about : Postpartum anxiety and depression. No one tells you that after having a baby, you might reach depths of despair you never thought possible, or feel panic-induced anxiety every time someone holds your baby. Let’s not even talk about bedtime, because that can be a very scary time for some parents. Sleep when the baby sleeps! Yeah, ok, maybe when I’m done checking to make sure that she is breathing every 2 seconds!

I am still facing an intense battle with postpartum anxiety. My experience with breastfeeding and having this disorder has been challenging, but also very rewarding. I’ve come up with a list of things that I think will help other women with postpartum depression and/or anxiety to have a healthy and happy breastfeeding relationship!

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Image courtesy of University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill. I do not own the copyright.

10 Tips for Coping with Postpartum Depression and Anxiety while Breastfeeding:

  1. Skin-to-skin: Having your baby on your chest immediately has many important benefits. It is a great tool for getting a baby’s temperature and breathing to regulate and to successfully initiate breastfeeding. Continuing this practice can be a great way to alleviate anxiety in both mother (or father) and baby. Here is an excellent article that explains skin-to-skin care and the benefits in great detail. This brings me to my next point: breastfeedingwithppd_3_breastfeedingworld
  2. Babywearing: Using a sling or carrier to hold your baby close to you is all the rage right now, and for good reason. The close proximity between mother and child encourages healthy milk production (close enough to kiss!), and is a great tool for lowering stress and anxiety levels.
  3. Limit Visitors: If you want to have success breastfeeding, you have to do just that- Breastfeed. This can be uncomfortable to do in front of guests and for that reason it is good to limit the number of visitors in the first few weeks or months while getting breastfeeding established. Those first few weeks are absolutely vital to establishing a healthy milk supply.
  4. Eating Habits: According to BabyCenter, breastfeeding women need to eat an additional 500 calories per day. Your body and mind are a reflection of what you are putting into your body and a healthy diet and adequate water intake (around 100 oz a day) will not only make you feel better, it will lead to a more abundant milk supply, which can help alleviate anxiety and depression. 
  5. Staying Positive: This one can be hard when you’re feeling depressed, but having a positive outlook and believing in your body’s abilities will make all the difference when it comes to breastfeeding. If you tell yourself you can’t do it, you won’t be able to. Try telling yourself that you can and you will be amazed by what you are able to accomplish. I can’t think of a better way to kick depression’s ugly butt!
  6. Find a Hobby: Do something that makes you happy! Taking a break to recharge your batteries once in a while is of the upmost importance. Taking an hour to paint, or go for a run, or whatever it is that you enjoy, can help shake the fog of depression or the pain of anxiety.
  7. breastfeeding world, lissa james, lactation consultantWork with a Lactation Consultant: An LC absolutely saved my breastfeeding relationship. She helped me get through the awkward first feeding in order to create that all important perfect latch. Furthermore, having resources such as Kelly Mom or La Leche League at your finger tips can help diminish feelings of anxiety and depression by providing knowledge and confidence in yourself as a breastfeeding mother. 
  8. Be Easy on Yourself: The first few months of postpartum life are hard. They are messy, painful, confusing, and not always the sunshine and fireworks that you expected. Learn to let go and forgive yourself when it doesn’t go according to plan. There are many complications that can arise, but that doesn’t make you a bad mother. Feeling guilty is a symptom, and forgiving yourself can be a very large step toward healing and overcoming your depression or anxiety.
  9. Make Mommy Friends: Having supportive friends who want you to succeed will be a game changer. If you don’t have anyone in your life who uplifts you, look for support groups online for both breastfeeding and PPD/A. I have made genuine friendships that have extended from Instagram to real life and it is aiding in my recovery tenfold. 
  10. Seek Treatment: Seeing a therapist can really help. There are options such as antidepressants and cognitive therapy; or if you aren’t comfortable taking medicine while breastfeeding (like me), you can try alternative options such as yoga and exercise. If you still aren’t feeling better after 12-18 months postpartum, I recommend finding out if you are possibly suffering from other mental conditions that could be aggravating your depression and/or anxiety. Seeing a therapist has helped me a lot and even led to being further diagnosed with PTSD. Needing help is nothing to be ashamed of and it could totally change your life for the better!

I am hopeful for the future and I know that with the right treatment, I will be better someday. I absolutely believe the same for you. 

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We’d love to hear from you! How has postpartum depression or anxiety affected your breastfeeding relationship?

Be sure to join us in our social media accounts to be up to date with the progress of our project!

And… Don’t forget to share your brelfies using our HT #BreastfeedingWorld

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My Story: A Most Wonderful Breastfeeding Journey https://breastfeedingworld.org/2015/09/story-wonderful-breastfeeding-journey/ https://breastfeedingworld.org/2015/09/story-wonderful-breastfeeding-journey/#respond Tue, 15 Sep 2015 23:24:18 +0000 http://breastfeedingworld.org/?p=1266 In my first article, I gave a few affordable fashion tips for breastfeeding Moms. This time around I would like to share my breastfeeding journey with you all. When I was pregnant, I knew I would breastfeed. I just knew it. Before I switched to a midwife, my OB would always try to send me home with formula samples, and […]

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In my first article, I gave a few affordable fashion tips for breastfeeding Moms. This time around I would like to share my breastfeeding journey with you all.

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When I was pregnant, I knew I would breastfeed. I just knew it. Before I switched to a midwife, my OB would always try to send me home with formula samples, and it really bothered me. I think that sends a message to expecting mothers that their milk will not be enough and they will need to supplement. Why even plant that seed in their mind? This happens at baby stores as well.

For instance, when I registered for my baby shower at two very popular baby stores, I was bombarded by aisles full of bottles and formula, all sending a subtle message that I will fail. After registering, I was given a gift by both stores that included bottles and formula samples. If I wasn’t so set on breastfeeding, it might have really caused me to doubt myself. However, I refused to succumb to big business marketing endeavors and believed instead in my body’s ability to lactate. I simply could not conceive that every mother has supply issues or trouble with their breastfeeding journey, because historically that hasn’t always been the case. If that were so, humanity would not have thrived before formula.

My breastfeeding journey, a real journey of love!

After laboring for twenty-four hours, my precious baby was finally in my arms. What a sweet relief after the bitter pain to have her with me! There were a few complications during childbirth and the nurses decided to take Violet to the nursery to sit under warm lights for an hour or so. I took the time to let the shock wear off and rehydrated my body, while I processed the fact that I was a new mother. When my fiance finally brought our daughter back into the room, I decided it was time to initiate breastfeeding. I remember having no idea what I was doing; my inner-goddess was replaced with insecurity as I fumbled to hold her correctly and to try getting her to latch onto my nipple. A nurse came in and I admitted that I needed help, so she suggested calling the Lactation Consultant. I hesitated because it was 1 am, but I knew my baby needed to eat and I didn’t want to wait any longer.

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Success!

The L.C. came in and instructed me to pancake my breast while rubbing my nipple quickly on my daughter’s nose for the scent, and then rubbing it on her upper lip while pointing it upward to encourage her to open her mouth. Imagine the relief I felt when it worked! My tiny newborn was taking big gulps and filling her little belly with the underrated, ever precious liquid gold that is colostrum.  It didn’t take much to fill her belly and she continued to pacify on me, which breathed new life into me. I had to take an ibuprofen for the pain in my uterus because the hormones that are released while breastfeeding cause your uterus to shrink back to its original size. It feels a lot like menstrual cramps, but nothing compared to labor. What an incredible give-and-take breastfeeding is; perfectly orchestrated for both mother and child.

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I am forever thankful for the LC who helped initiate this beautiful relationship.

The hospital sent us home with a chart to document the amount of dirty diapers she was producing, and to ensure I was feeding her enough. It instructed to nurse for 15 minutes on each side every 2-3 hours, but I found that she would eat much more than that. I later discovered that what she was doing is called cluster-feeding and it is completely normal and healthy for newborns. Not a lot of new mothers know this, and many doubt their milk supply because of it. Let me reassure you, Momma. Your baby is not starving. Allowing your baby to pacify on you and cluster-feed will ensure a healthy milk supply and a happier baby. If you find that your baby is still fussy, try adjusting your diet to be allergen free (dairy, eggs, broccoli, etc), but do remember that it can take a few weeks to clear out of your system so you may not notice a difference right away.

For the first few months of being a mother, I struggled to do anything other than breastfeed or take care of my daughter. I faced socially awkward situations when certain relatives made comments about me flashing my boobs at family functions (which I didn’t do), or when they avoided me altogether as if I had the plague. Other family members were more supportive, but I still usually ended up in the back room alone with my baby. It was always a relief when I didn’t have any social obligations for the day.

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Milk comas are the best. (A water bottle is never far from a nursing Mom.)

Over the months, my daughter would change her eating habits often, but she has always been a slow eater and refused to nap anywhere except on me (and with a nipple in her mouth). I savored the snuggles, which were good for my postpartum depression and anxiety, and I would cozy up on the couch with my water, snacks, and endless Netflix marathons. It was honestly kind of awesome! I started to pump around that time in order to make a freezer stash, and unknowingly created a massive oversupply because my daughter was nursing full-time and I was pumping 4-6 times a day! I no longer pump, and my supply has now regulated perfectly to fit my daughter’s needs. Breastfeeding is completely supply and demand. How cool is that? She had severe reflux until she was about four months-old, but other than that we have never had any major hiccups, thankfully.

My daughter is now 14 months-old and is still breastfed exclusively. It took a while for me to gain courage when it comes to breastfeeding in public, but now I do it without shame. We go with the flow during the day, and cosleeping has helped to ease my anxiety at nighttime, as well as make feedings easier. She still naps on me for the most part, but her never-ending nursing sessions are a distant memory. She has maybe one purée a day, but doesn’t show much interest in food yet. Her iron levels are perfect, and she is skinny, but very healthy. Alas, my breast milk is enough. We are still going strong and I see no reason to stop anytime soon. 

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For whatever challenges I have faced over these past fourteen months of my breastfeeding journey, the rewards have been tenfold. Never quit on your darkest day, because if you do, you may never see your brightest one. Stick with it, I believe in you!

Be sure to join us in our social media accounts to be up to date with the progress of our project!

And… Don’t forget to share your brelfies using our HT #BreastfeedingWorld 

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Affordable Fashion for the Breastfeeding Mother https://breastfeedingworld.org/2015/09/affordable-fashion-for-the-breastfeeding-mother/ https://breastfeedingworld.org/2015/09/affordable-fashion-for-the-breastfeeding-mother/#respond Wed, 09 Sep 2015 00:48:35 +0000 http://breastfeedingworld.org/?p=1100 That wonderful moment has finally arrived and your baby is nestled safely in your arms after spending nearly a year growing inside of you. Your body has stretched and grown right along with your bundle of joy, and may be soft and unrecognizable now that you are no longer pregnant. Whether you invested a lot of money into maternity clothes […]

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That wonderful moment has finally arrived and your baby is nestled safely in your arms after spending nearly a year growing inside of you. Your body has stretched and grown right along with your bundle of joy, and may be soft and unrecognizable now that you are no longer pregnant. Whether you invested a lot of money into maternity clothes or not, you may be wondering what your style will look like now that you are a Mother. Breastfeeding Mothers also have to consider finding clothing styles that accommodate their new lifestyle.

Fashion is something that is easily overlooked in the days, weeks, and if you’re anything like me, months after having a baby. I felt frumpy and messy for the first few months and it seemed like I was topless AND covered in milk 24/7. I mainly wore my old maternity clothes, which didn’t make me feel very good about myself. When I started venturing outside, my daughter was around two months old, and I needed clothes that made breastfeeding in public easier, while also making me feel better about my new body. After searching my local mall from top to bottom, I realized there aren’t very many stores that carry clothing that is specifically for a breastfeeding mother without also doubling as maternity clothing. There are snap-down camis and bras, shirts with flaps and holes, dresses that stretch from here to there, and fancy woven tops that can be very, very hard to put on correctly.These clothes often have a hefty price tag to boot, and a lot of new mothers have to be careful with extra expenses as they now have a new life to invest in.

If you are worried that you won’t be able to afford all of the clothing that you need to breastfeed, I’m happy to say that in the past fourteen months I’ve gotten by with only four nursing bras, three nursing specific tops, and a whole lot of creativity. I searched within my own closet to figure out what styles worked for me without spending a fortune and I am happy to share them with you now.

1. The Sleeveless T-Shirt:

Affordable fashion for the breastfeeding mother- breastfeeding world nyc

If you aren’t comfortable showing a lot of cleavage, this is an excellent option. You can make one out of an old T-Shirt to save extra money. Your sleeve holes should be bigger around the armpit in order to breastfeed without ruining the shirt and a stretchy material works best. You can find the “Mere. Soeur.” (Mother. Sister.) shirt that I’m wearing here.

 

 

 

2. Double Shirt Method:

Affordable fashion for the breastfeeding mother- breastfeeding world nycThis one comes in handy if your baby dislikes nursing covers and you are uncomfortable exposing your breasts to other people. Simply wear two loose-fitting, preferably low-cut shirts, then pull the top layer up over your chest and pull the bottom layer (along with your nursing bra) down right before you latch your baby. As your baby gets older and his or her head gets bigger, it will be virtually impossible to see any flesh if you position your shirt the right way. The green shirt that I am wearing is a pre-pregnancy boyfriend tee from Target, while the striped shirt is a maternity tank from H & M that is tight-fitting enough to look normal after pregnancy. Even if I bought these brand new, it only would cost about $20 for both. Try a thrift store instead and you will save even more!

3. Loosely Fitted Tank Top:

Affordable fashion for the breastfeeding mother- breastfeeding world nyc

This is an edgier style, but can be versatile depending on the type of tank top you choose. In the picture above I am demonstrating the side pull (this will cover more of your breast), as well as the pull down method (which is fast and efficient if nursing in public does not make you blush). The best thing about this shirt is that I bought it long before getting pregnant, so not only can I breastfeed comfortably in it, but it cost me nothing in the process. I wear this style a lot while babywearing, which is another great way to discreetly nurse in public without using a cover.

Any of these styles can be worn year-round when paired with jeans and a blazer, or a skirt and cardigan. Whatever style you choose, have fun and get creative! You don’t have to buy a $30 nursing top, or continue wearing your maternity clothes in order to breastfeed and be fashionable. Dig into your closet and find what works for you. The most important thing is that you are comfortable and can feed your precious baby with confidence while saving a few bucks in the process.

Happy nursing, ladies!

 

We love to hear from you! What is your go to fashion item as a breastfeeding mother?

Be sure to join us in our social media accounts to be up to date with the progress of our project!

And… Don’t forget to share your brelfies using our HT #BreastfeedingWorld 

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