I saw your back arched as though with pride, yet it felt more like defiance. You sat in the center of a crowd, your keen eyes on the lookout like a lioness protects her cub. You smiled and you chatted as if nothing was out of the ordinary, but I could feel your guardedness around you, thick as a wall. Your look at passersby was a silent dare that no one was willing to take.

I wanted to tell you that I admire you.

Maybe I’m seeing more than what you meant me to, but it means something to me. You know you’re doing more than just feeding your baby naturally, and you know the value of it. You’re making that statement that you are not to be belittled or intimidated into hiding. Your mind is chanting, “Let them say something, just let them,” because you are ready for battle… even if you hope you don’t have to.

I know if I was sitting with you, feeding my child beside you, I would feel in safe in your company. So many people do not or cannot feel that. Instead of taking a seat, I tried to give a smile of my thanks as I walked past. You didn’t see it though, because you were still on the lookout.

I saw you breastfeeding today.

Just out of the corner of my eye, I spotted you sitting lonesome in a corner. Some people prefer solitude, but this corner seat was like a time-out chair. Your slumped shoulders were turned protectively inward, sheltering your child from view, sheltering yourself from possible words that might hit like stones. Your family was far from your post: close enough to see if you were done yet, too far for you to feel included.

I wanted to tell you that I would protect you.

I know you’re trying to hide, but you shouldn’t have to; you don’t have to. There are so many people who would come to your defense if you needed us, even though we’re strangers. We know that the gift you’re giving your child is more than just nutrients; it’s love, and connection, and sacrifice. And while sometimes those close to us don’t always understand, it’s your business alone. You reminded me that no matter how far we’ve come in trying to make the simple act of nursing commonplace, we have so far to go.

I tried to catch your eye as you hastily wrapped up and made your way across to your family. I wanted you to maybe, for a second, not feel so alone. You didn’t see me though, so focused were you on the ground as you passed.

I saw you breastfeeding today.

I was lucky enough to be sitting behind you in the stadium and a little to the side, waiting to see the show. Unintentionally, I had a perfect view. Your partner’s hand was entwined with your own, their focus on your older child who was sitting on the other side. Your legs were stretched out in the same way as the baby sprawled in your arms, who happened to be wiggling his toes. You sighed as you laid your head on your spouse’s shoulder, partially from exhaustion no doubt, but also from contentment.

I wanted to tell you that I was glad for you.

That I knew what it was like to be blessed with a supportive spouse, who could make me relax in their presence. I wanted to ask you what your secret was to feeding in such serenity here. So many people struggle with achieving what you were displaying so beautifully.

I wanted to talk with you, I felt as though I could befriend you… but I didn’t want to interrupt such a lovely snapshot, this sweet moment in time. I sat back, satisfied just to be able to see such a perfect scene. But you felt me. You looked up and to the side, and our eyes met. I prepared to apologize in case you weren’t pleased you caught a stranger staring. When you smiled softly, I knew we understood each other. I nodded at you respectfully, and you did the same. You knew I gazed upon you with goodwill.

I got to be a part of your moment. I was glad we found camaraderie.

And I was glad I saw you breastfeeding today.

Be sure to join us in our social media accounts and be up to date with the progress of our project!

And… Don’t forget to share your brelfies using our hashtag

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Jacqueline Falvey-Rossi

Jacqueline Falvey-Rossi is a mother of three children ages 2, 5, and 8. After many failed attempts at breastfeeding with her first two children, she achieved success with her third child, ultimately nursing for more than two years. She has become an advocate for breastfeeding normalization, and for increasing support for new nursing mothers. Her brand-new blog, Mommy is an Oddity, is about celebrating the individuality in each parent as opposed to conventionality, and promotes embracing each other’s more unusual qualities as our strengths. She wishes to help all moms accept parenting in good humor, and feel comfortable as themselves, whoever they are and wherever they are in life.

The post I Saw You Breastfeeding Today, and I Want You To Know… appeared first on Breastfeeding World.

Pregnant women were once just regular humans. My eyes would simply pass over in a crowd- and the same went for their babies. I didn’t single them out, and didn’t give them much thought.

Subsequently, my few run-ins with baby showers and newborns where rife with ignorance. I would glance at the registry list, pick anything, wrap it and move on.

Naturally, this efficient, but cold selection process went out the window after I had a child myself. After you go through an event as impactful as childbirth, it creates something of a bond with the ladies next in line.

It’s very much like a sisterhood, where we who have gone before want those who follow to have similar or better experiences than our own. This translates to support in the forms of advice, heaps of empathy, and smart gift-giving. Let’s focus on the latter.

My beautiful cousin on her shower day

It’s no secret that I am a serious procrastinator. This has given me a little insight on the very dregs of the registry list, and I’ve noticed a disappointing trend.

Normally, after all the big-ticket items have been snapped up, and the basket-ables have been purchased in groups, there’s only a few things left: a few spare burp cloths, a couple of pacifiers, postpartum care items (another shame that I intend to expand upon at another time) and ALL THE BREASTFEEDING SUPPLIES.

Perhaps it’s a result of the sexualization of breasts. Or the feeling that it just may not be appropriate in the setting of a classy baby shower to open a breastfeeding gift that may make people uncomfortable.

Breastfeeding gifts tend to be avoided

Maybe no one wants to be the one responsible for the collective head-turning that will occur from all the little old ladies at table number 5 upon hearing the words “nipple shield”. One thing is for sure, the whole selection of breastfeeding gifts and items are avoided like the plague.

Washable pads from Kindred Bravely, they come with the cutest carrying bag! Who would avoid these cuties??

One of the most important things I have learned from the trials and errors of my own breastfeeding journey is that support matters.

If a woman is planning on nursing, even if she is just interested in trying it out, she should be prepared with her desired breastfeeding gifts. If bottle-feeding items are provided without issue, the same should ring true for breastfeeding materials.

Consider that some items may be necessary right away, and their absence, felt. Breast pads, nipple cream, shields and shells, nursing bras, ice pack inserts and such can be useful from the beginning.

More hospitals now are encouraging mothers to begin pumping right away. However, the preferred materials may not be available to a nursing mom in the hospital.

For my most recent birth, my baby had to spend some time in the NICU. The nurses in the maternity ward carted a double Medela electric unit in for me. But they did not have the proper size flanges for my needs. In cases like this, running out to the store may not be possible, and online ordering may not cover all the things a new mom finds she needs immediately.

A pillow from My Brest Friend can be a useful tool to assist a nursing mother

Remember when I said that I went from oblivious gift-giver to wanting to look after the new members of the sisterhood?

It starts with being the person to stand up for what they want and need (and may need and not know it). There lies fault in thinking,

Oh if she really continues with the breastfeeding, then she can go get that or order it, I’m not going to buy her something she may potentially never use.”

So right off the bat, groundwork becomes laid down for doubt, because you are doubting she will use your gift. When you give the new mother the tools to aid in her success, you are ultimately telling her, “I believe this is something you can accomplish.”

Opening the basket of breastfeeding gifts that she registered for

To be fair, I don’t expect every woman who shows interest in breastfeeding to actually follow through with it. I would be a hypocrite if I didn’t support a new mother regardless of her chosen method of feeding. More often than not, the moms I’ve known chose not to nurse, even after they’d tried it.

Every person has their own equally valid opinions and reasons to proceed with or halt the practice.

Some women have no choice in the matter, it simply doesn’t work out. But I would much rather be the friend that has faith in someone’s ability and tries to help them, even if it doesn’t come to fruition.

And who says the value lies only in extended breastfeeding? Benefits can be rendered during any part in the journey, whether you choose to nurse for a week or a year. Don’t forget that exclusive pumping is becoming more widespread. With all these options, it is important to remind a new mom that success is measured differently for everyone.

With my first child, I only made it for a month, but I did achieve what I originally intended, meaning my baby got a great start. Still, I wouldn’t have made it that far without many of the necessary supplies, especially since my budget was so constrained. It was also wonderful for me to have my eldest sister to rely on when I needed emotional support or my endless questions needed answers.

It is often the small gestures we offer that show someone their choices matter to us, and that we can care about what they care about.

Perhaps straightforwardness is the best method. I will smile gladly on the day when everyone can say “You will be great at nurturing your child,” as easily as they say, “You’ll do fine.” Until then, there are some of us you can count on to welcome you into this sisterhood. So instead of the cold inattention I would have presented to you before I became a mother, I hope to offer you what you really want and need. I hope to offer you the warmth of support.

-Many special thanks to Meaghan Henderson for allowing use of her photos.

Did you receive any breastfeeding gifts when starting your motherhood journey? If so, which one was your favorite? Drop us a comment below!

Did you love this post? Don’t forget to pin it!

Be sure to join us in our social media accounts, subscribe to our website, and get up to date with the progress of our project!

And… Don’t forget to share your brelfies using our hashtag

#BreastfeedingWorld

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Jacqueline Falvey-Rossi

Jacqueline Falvey-Rossi is a mother of three children ages 2, 5, and 8. After many failed attempts at breastfeeding with her first two children, she achieved success with her third child, ultimately nursing for more than two years. She has become an advocate for breastfeeding normalization, and for increasing support for new nursing mothers. Her brand-new blog, Mommy is an Oddity, is about celebrating the individuality in each parent as opposed to conventionality, and promotes embracing each other’s more unusual qualities as our strengths. She wishes to help all moms accept parenting in good humor, and feel comfortable as themselves, whoever they are and wherever they are in life.

The post Why are Breastfeeding Gifts for an Expectant Mother Important? appeared first on Breastfeeding World.

If this sounds like it may describe you, I have a quick dose of reality for you. Not all of it bad, I promise!

But you may need to pay attention. Especially if you are among the women who presume that since breastfeeding is what breasts are made for, it should be super easy for your super big bongos.

Are you freaking kidding me?!!!

Welcome to the wonderful world of breastfeeding! Of nourishing your child the way nature intended, with the fruit of your very own body! Embrace the feeling of accomplishment as your child suckles and receives the perfect formula of life-giving ambrosia and- wait, whoa whoa whoa. What is this? WHAT IS THIS?? What do you mean the milk just came in?

Finally we are in serious danger of what our heavy chests have been threatening to do to us for years: we are going to tip over face first.

As if there isn’t enough for a new mother to contend with! Pain after birth, possible recovery from surgery, soreness, exhaustion, tender nipples, cracking and bleeding, stress and fear of being a new mom, and caring for baby all weigh heavily on us the first few weeks. Now be sure to add a few more pounds in the form of boob.

Most women get excited and think to themselves, “Hoooo howdy, I hope these bad boys stick around, this is a sweet consolation prize in exchange for the eternal belly pooch!”

But not us.

We pull apart our dresser drawers looking for the baggiest tee shirt we can find, a poncho, a circus tent, anything. Maternity clothes cannot camouflage the fact that, despite getting the baby out of your belly, you once again cannot see your feet. Do not enter the sports department of any store unless you want to be accused of smuggling basketballs.

This is engorgement. Slap some cabbage leaves on those suckers and grab some frozen peas- or better yet, like nine bags of them. Four to cover each breast, and one for the neutral zone in between, since it will suddenly become Death Valley. Which brings me to my next point.

Holy Hot!!!

You thought you had to deal with boob sweat before? HA! You know nothing of suffering.

Heavy, hot, and forever in a tank top.

I hope you’re enjoying your new size. You may have noticed however that your breasts have fused together. Where you used to employ the lift-and-scoop technique to readjust in as much subtlety as possible, you will now abandon all attempts at modesty to attain sweet relief. I had two children in summer months (July and June, respectively) and spent many minutes with both hands down my blouse pulling my breasts apart while standing directly in front of the air conditioning unit.

If you have ever gone dancing until you were red in the face and chest, then you may understand what it is like to be a new nursing mother. Hormones may cause you to feel like this all the time. Yes, even in December, I was still wearing a tank top. And often no undergarments. And this is because:

Nursing Bras Can Be a Lie!

You did all the clever things when pregnant. You knew you wanted to breastfeed, you did your research. I’m sure, you knew that you would require a larger size bra since you would now carry around a pair of udders on your chest. You went to the maternity store, where they measured you and recommended the proper size you should purchase in preparation. Perhaps you even registered for the largest size nursing bra your local baby store carries, which a well-meaning relative may have bought for you as a gift. You packed it in your hospital bag, ready and waiting for your lovely little one’s arrival.

You put it on. Readjust. You take it off. Reading the instructions. You check the size. Put it back on. You look in the mirror. What in the heck is this contraption? What am I doing wrong?

So many nursing bras are designed for women of a smaller size than what we have to contend with. Manufacturers often seem to take the same designs and just add more fabric so they can charge ten dollars more and sell to a larger market. It can be so difficult to find one that will fit you. DO NOT struggle to wear these in discomfort. I have made this mistake, trying to convince myself to power through since I couldn’t return the garment (various return policies have made this difficult). But, please don’t do this to yourself. A poorly fitting nursing bra can severely impact your entire nursing experience, even going so far as to affect your supply.

Another “nursing bra” doesn’t cut it! And also, my body is no longer my own.

But I will be honest in this: my lovely ladies need support.

You can’t stick me in a sleep bra, slap a nursing pad on each nip and call it a day. I need coverage, or I will be in PAIN. Even though this may go against some advice, I found I could not be comfortable (or decent in public) without underwire. And make sure you can get easily in and out of these torture traps, because you’ll have enough to worry about when you realize:

My Boob is Bigger Than My Baby!!!

“OH MY GOSH HE CAN’T BREATHE- no, no, he’s okay, look, chest up and down and- NOPE THERE HE GOES AGAIN AM I COVERING HIS NOSE- no I’m just being paranoid, baby has instincts and he won’t suffo- YES HE IS, HE’S SUFFOCATING SOMEONE HELP I’M DOING THIS WRONG-“

My breasts were each bigger than his little head!

I have experienced this phenomenon with all three newborns that I nursed. With proper positioning, you can avoid most scenarios where air flow would be a concern. However being that I am not perfect (total shocker, I know), I did have many occasions where I thought my breast would swallow my child’s face completely and they would become encompassed; like in The Blob. I can’t even say with confidence, years later, that my fears were unfounded.

Advice on this front? Seek a lactation consultant! They can help you find breastfeeding positions that are comfortable for both you and your baby. You can also attend a meeting of your local chapter of La Leche League. This will be excellent practice for you, particularly if you’re seeking a safe space to become comfortable with breastfeeding in public. Oh, by the way, about that….

Nursing in Public? Might as Well Rent a Billboard.

I have seen a series of expressions on the faces of onlookers, which I will now attempt to translate into thought processes:

“What is that woman doing over there? I see she has a crying baby, is she going to give it a bottle? Oh, a bottle she warmed under her shirt? No, she’s going to feed the baby a turnip. A huge turnip, what the heck is – NOPE NOT A TURNIP IT’S A BOOB A REALLY BIG REALLY PALE BOOB, I’M SO SORRY, LOOK AWAY LOOK AWAY-“

Discretion is not always possible when you are well-endowed.

A milk drunk baby and a humongous (turnip) breast.

I have seen some truly talented women nurse with just a nippie out, and no one is any the wiser. I have seen whole boob exposed and no one realized; I have seen nursing in a carrier; I have seen nursing clothes that have more versatility than a Swiss Army Knife. But the larger the feed bags, the larger the notice. Another reason why breastfeeding in public is so important; so all women can feel comfortable while doing something as simple as feeding their baby.

I know all these things can be so hard to work through. So many obstacles to overcome!

But I promise, it does get better.

I mean, each breast is still bigger than my kid’s head, and he’s two. But there is definitely a learning curve. You and baby learn from each other. You learn from your own mistakes. And slowly, things start to get easier.

Engorgement will eventually ease. There will be times between feedings when you feel like you will burst! But you won’t always look like a balloon artist. And you will settle into a groove with your little one.

You will find that nursing bra that fits you just the way you need, there are so many more places to find them than you realized! You will be lifted, supported, and temperature controlled (hormones notwithstanding). More importantly, you will be comfortable in your ability, and in your own skin.

Your newfound comfort will enable you to nurse when and where you need to, with less and less concern for the potential surveillance of passersby.

You will be helping destigmatize breastfeeding!

Finally, you will discover that through all the trials you have endured, it is so worth it.

Your gigantic breasts, which may have been a curse for you for much of your life, have become something of a safe haven for your little one. When stressed or scared, my Little Bug (my youngest child) would stick his hands down my shirt for reassurance, and he would center himself. Even now, he runs to me and treats them like fluffy pillows, a comforting place to lay his head months after weaning. You are the soothing place your child will come to, and this is perfectly normal and natural. From you they receive their nourishment, and from you they receive their first education. Be that safe place to venture from, and eventually return to when the world is scary.

Soothing with just a cuddle

And dang it, be proud.

You are a mighty mama. Don’t let those mighty mammoglands deter you from accomplishing your goal. Feed that baby. Because at the end of the day, they’re all NBD, baby! No big deal. They’re big huge ones, yeah, but since you’ve already been handling them for years…

You can totally handle breastfeeding.

Be sure to join us in our social media accounts to be up to date with the progress of our project!

And… Don’t forget to share your brelfies using our hashtag

#BreastfeedingWorld

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Jacqueline Falvey-Rossi

Jacqueline Falvey-Rossi is a mother of three children ages 2, 5, and 8. After many failed attempts at breastfeeding with her first two children, she achieved success with her third child, ultimately nursing for more than two years. She has become an advocate for breastfeeding normalization, and for increasing support for new nursing mothers. Her brand-new blog, Mommy is an Oddity, is about celebrating the individuality in each parent as opposed to conventionality, and promotes embracing each other’s more unusual qualities as our strengths. She wishes to help all moms accept parenting in good humor, and feel comfortable as themselves, whoever they are and wherever they are in life.

The post Breastfeeding with Ginormous Boobs – What It’s Really Like appeared first on Breastfeeding World.