Right?

First night together, falling in love.

Yes. Yes to the unconditional love and feelings of motherhood…but sometimes these feelings can be overrun, enveloped by darkness.

Most people have heard of Post Partum Depression, maybe even seen it first hand. Mothers may become depressed due to chemical imbalances in the body. Your hormones have been through it all over a short nine months and the changes in lifestyle, body, sleepless nights (I could go on) can wreak havoc on these imbalances. While so many have at least heard of Post Partum Depression, Post Partum Anxiety is a condition that often goes unnoticed.

Anxiety is not a nice thing, but anxiety with a newborn is pure evil.

Fears that you never knew existed can bubble up to the surface of your mind. Once you begin to fear deeply at such a vulnerable time, it can quickly roller coaster out of control. For the first 6 months of my daughter’s life, I had severe fears and anxiety. The foremost fears I felt; a fear of dying and a fear of her being kidnapped.

My fear of dying seized my mind.

It was all I thought about during those long hours of the night while I nursed her, rocked her and laid beside her. I had heard of women fearing the death of their newborn or their partner, which of course, I did feel as well. But, I did not obsess over it. I obsessed over my own death. Sometimes I would picture dying from a disease, but mostly I was fanatical over outrageous circumstances. I would fear that I would fall down the steps and she would be alone, crying, until my fiancé got home hours later to find me. I visualized myself slipping in the shower with a similar demise. There was a car accident on my only 2 hours away from her that week, being murdered by a delivery man.

These horrible thoughts plagued me all day long. I would cry, thinking about all the things I would never teach her; the fact that she wouldn’t even ever remember who I was. It tore me apart.

As she got older and I discussed with my midwife and fiancé what I was feeling.

I thought I was recovering.

My dreads began to reach beyond the immediate future. What if I died when she was 7, or 10, or 15. What would that do to her? I tried to talk about it. I reached for ways to push these menacing thoughts away.

When my daughter was four months, I began to venture out with her alone. I heard a story of a mom who was followed into a bathroom at a Kohl’s in New York. A mother, just like me, was changing her baby in the restroom. A woman came in, checked the stalls to be sure that they were alone and complimented the mother and her child. Suddenly, the woman demanded the baby. Luckily, this mother’s intuition, her gut, told her that something was wrong. The mother escaped with her child and found help. Thankfully, the woman was caught, along with a man who planned the attack with her.

Well that was it for me.

Trigger.

I could not go to Target, WalMart or the grocery store without thinking I was being shadowed. It became so merciless that I called my fiancé on a few occasions, telling him that I was being followed. Around the store, to the car, anxiety was all around. I felt everyone was watching me. I felt danger everywhere we went. My gut, my intuition was misleading me. It was always telling me that something was wrong, but there wasn’t.

Unfortunately, the fears did not end when we got home. I could not shower during the day while we were home alone. I tried. But, I could not even take a shower without the crippling terror that she would be gone from her swing when I got out. And yes, I have a monitor. These fears were irrational, they were unforgiving.

Why did these feelings leave me?

I wish I knew, I wish I understood so that I may help someone else. There is one thing that I do know, I know that I did everything wrong; I waited way too long to bring it up to my midwife and I did not talk about it with family and friends. The fear of sounding insane ruled me. And because of that, I did not seek medication, I did not seek help when I needed it most.

I need you to know that you are not alone.

Please know that whatever you are going through, there is someone out there who is with you, feeling the same. The smallest news story of a parent dying or a kid being taken would ruin me. So, I can tell you that you are NOT insane to feel ANY fear, as wild as the scenario may seem. SEEK HELP. You need to be healthy to enjoy your little one; you deserve happiness instead of dread.

I am currently 6 months pregnant with my second child. About 2 months ago my fear of dying came back. The tear filled, sleepless nights returned. As my toddler and fiancé slept soundly, I looked at them with so much love and so much fear to leave them too early.

After three long nights of this, I decided that I would be proactive. That I would do it right this time. Talking about it right away to my fiancé and my midwife has made all the difference.

I pray that I have the tools and support to conquer any reoccurring or new fears that may come after the baby is here. But, I know I will not feel frightened to ask for help. I will be proactive; I will look for the signs. Through my research in finding natural ways to combat anxiety, so I may continue to breastfeed; I have found many women who say that their encapsulated placenta has made a world of difference for them. After the birth of our second child, I plan on encapsulating my placenta because I got nothing but fear and anxiety to lose!

Educate Yourself

I encourage all pregnant and new moms to educate themselves on both PPD and PPA. Know the signs. Tell your support team what to look for. And talk about every fear, depressing or harmful thought you come across. I hope that anyone reading this will know in the future to seek help, or someone currently, will know, they are not alone.

Be sure to join us in our social media accounts to be up to date with the progress of our project!

And… Don’t forget to share your brelfies using our hashtag

#BreastfeedingWorld

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Teresa Finocchio

I am a 27 year old first time mom who lives in New Jersey. I had an all natural planned homebirth with the help of water and the self-hypnosis hypnobabies method. I am currently a stay at home breastfeeding mother to my beautiful baby girl and I’ll be sharing with you all some personal experiences and covering some other interesting topics, stay tuned.

The post Postpartum Anxiety: My Invasive Fears and Thoughts appeared first on Breastfeeding World.

I wish I had a way to skip the picky eater phase completely. Or perhaps just add some magical dust you could sprinkle in the food and your toddler would just eat it, happily.

Unfortunately, that’s not the case. Honestly, the only true solution to my toddler’s picky eater stage was time. But I would like to share a few ways I made the phase easier on myself. I should add, too- all kids are different and everyone’s experiences will vary. At first, my toddler decided to eat everything but spit it out after chewing it up. For a good 6 months  everything that went in her mouth got chewed up and spit back out. She would stick her tongue out over and over until all the chewed food was out. Anyway, here are a few ways I got through it:

1. Puree what you can.

Since my child loved to spit, using foods that are quicker to swallow was a great choice. Applesauce, pureed fruits and veggie (homemade or store bought), yogurt, etc. She really grew to love yogurt and rice pudding! Some children have a difficult time processing different textures, so beginning with purees can help with that.

2. Don’t be concerned if they prefer the same food!

If your picky eater takes a liking to a certain food, always have it ready. For me, blueberries almost always win. And they’re healthy so that was a big bonus! Also, for some meals she would only swallow Puffs, and although that is not an ideal meal in my eyes, she was practicing putting food in her belly and that made me happy. Now, she could care less if a bottle of Puffs are sitting in front of her! It will pass, so whatever they are willing to eat, just go with it.

Not happy…

2 minutes later… “I love crackers!” ?

3. Have options handy.

Options. There were days I would try 10 foods for breakfast until I found something she would keep down. Juggling motherhood is hard enough- then add a picky eater, let alone make 10 things for each meal!.

To make this easier, I kept cut fruit ready so she could have several options at a sitting. I kept crackers and peanut butter handy, bread and butter, etc. I did this for lunch and dinner and she never picked the same thing.

4. Make a shake!

Remember, you can always throw fruits and veggies in a blender with some yogurt and milk! There and tons of recipes on places like Google and Pinterest and even baby apps. If your kid drinks from a straw, a shake may be the way to go!!

5. Keep on nursing!

If you haven’t already weaned, nursing your toddler still has many benefits for their immune system and health. If you continue to nurse through the picky eating stage you can rest assure your toddler is getting nutrients from your milk even if not from his/her plate!

6. Discuss Your Toddler’s Nutritional Intake with Your Doctor

Make sure to get your toddler’s blood checked during the bad eating phases. You may need to supplement with dissolvable vitamins or drops. My toddler became low on iron so I used the drops for her until she became a better eater! I also gave her PediaSure for a little bit because she was stuck at the same weight for months!

7. You eat first!

Ok, this is mostly for my pregnant moms. I had to go through the picky eater phase during my first trimester of my new pregnancy. After watching my daughter chew up her food and spit it out I always lost my appetite. Feeling nauseous and seeing that over and over is hard on a pregnant mom’s will to eat!. Not a good mix. If I could manage, I learned to eat a little before feeding her.

8. Relax, don’t stress!

The phase will pass. It may come back one day- but at least she will communicate better by then. I know it is frustrating but your toddler doesn’t understand how to tell you things yet and food is still pretty new.

Just like your contractions, just like cranky bedtime cries and temper tantrums, it will pass!

Now, my daughter is 18 months old. Just 2 months ago, I was still dealing with all this. Now her nickname is Porky Pig! She will eat nonstop, and try almost anything! There is light at the end of the tunnel!

Good luck and happy feeding!

What are some ways you dealt with your picky eater? What frustrated you the most, and what foods were invaluable and need to be kept close by for your toddler?

Be sure to join us in our social media accounts to be up to date with the progress of our project!

And… Don’t forget to share your brelfies using our HT #BreastfeedingWorld 

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Teresa Finocchio

I am a 27 year old first time mom who lives in New Jersey. I had an all natural planned homebirth with the help of water and the self-hypnosis hypnobabies method. I am currently a stay at home breastfeeding mother to my beautiful baby girl and I’ll be sharing with you all some personal experiences and covering some other interesting topics, stay tuned.

The post 8 Tricks I Used for Enduring the Picky Eater Phase appeared first on Breastfeeding World.

Fact #1: Less than 5% of babies are born on their due dates.

The “due date”. Oh, the pressure! The very first question people ask you when they hear you’re pregnant, lots of times even before they officially congratulate you, is the inevitable, “When are you due?”. My answer is always the month I am due (this time “April!”) in which I get the response, “April what?”. Well, my issue with my “due date” is that it’s not when my baby is due. It’s an estimated “guess date”, which is what we call it in the natural birth world of low interventions, homebirths and hypnobirths. Oh, and if you weren’t sure what the second question always is, here is a meme to show you. Although, not as annoying as long as your response isn’t “Oh, good luck, they are trouble” or “How can you make me wait so long?”…

Fact #2: 80% of women will have their babies between their 37th and 42nd week of pregnancy.

According to the statistics, 95% of women have their babies on any other day besides their “due” day; and according to the statistics of fact #2, 80% of women have their babies within the same 5 weeks of gestation. FIVE WEEKS. That’s a large window. That’s three full weeks before the “due date” and two full weeks after it. That could mean even my guess month is off, especially if you’re “due” within the first or last week of the month. Now that I think about it, maybe I’ll just answer with a season from now on.

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Fact #3: On average, most studies show that first time moms deliver late, or past their “due dates”.

I am a second time mom this time around, and luckily I did not deliver “late” my first time. I also did not deliver “early”. Nope, my little girl came right on her “due date”, because, that’s when babies come right? Kidding, of course. Maybe she will grow up as a perfectionist or someone who is always on time, but if she is anything like me…well, she just got lucky.

Fact #4: Your cell phone and social media accounts will blow up with family and friends inquiring when baby is coming around your due date

Every few hours, someone will ask if you had the baby yet. Or where the baby is. “When the baby is coming,’ they inquire. Perhaps even worse- they yell at you!! They actually have the nerve to say THEY can’t wait any longer. This will continue until they receive the news the baby was born. It will even continue once they know you’re in labor. It will not stop until they see proof of baby.

Ok, this may not be a proven fact

 But any pregnant mother past her date can tell you- this is 100% true. Also, if don’t see the verity in my point, you can probably admit you’ve bugged an “overdue” mama about when baby is coming. Well, you’re the reason I’m not telling my due date.  If I were to go past my guess date, I wouldn’t think twice about it. Although, I’ll admit, around 41 weeks and 6 days I might start to question where my baby is myself.

But that’s for me to worry about! You may think because my baby was born on my due date I have no business complaining about this…yet. However, people began to ask me this my first pregnancy about 2 weeks before I was even “due”!  I also witnessed numerous pregnant mothers receiving due date inquisitions as well.

So really, there is no way around having NO ONE ask you if your baby is here yet, but there is a way to minimize it . Broaden your due date to a due month. Be prepared for further inquiries after you give the month (mine, April). To hear “April what?”

At this point I always say “mid April”. Most people “get it” by then, but some continue to ask, for the third time, “But what day?”. Why these people will care so much you will never know. I mean, my family and my closest friends know my guess date, but they also know how I feel about it and that to me, it doesn’t mean much. (And if they didn’t, they do now!)

Fun fact #5: My daughter is one of the 5% of babies who was born on their due date.

She is also one of the 1% of babies born at home. I don’t know the statistic for homebirth babies born on their due dates, but I am pretty sure she is something special.

So, I will be having my 2nd baby this is April. Possibly March, possibly May.

Basically, Spring 2017. My baby will come when my baby is ready, and if you just can’t wait any longer to find out he/she is here, just remember… I have spent this pregnancy puking, crying, farting, gaining weight, dealing with insomnia, having migraines and back aches and sciatica pain that would make Superman cry , getting kicked in the ribs, peeing every 15 minutes, waddling instead of walking and staying sober for 40 weeks…so please, SHUT. UP. AND. WAIT.

I will leave you with one of the hypnobabies affirmations from my tracks, forever embedded into my brain…

“Babies are born on their birthdays, not when doctors say.”

Teresa Finocchio

I am a 27 year old first time mom who lives in New Jersey. I had an all natural planned homebirth with the help of water and the self-hypnosis hypnobabies method. I am currently a stay at home breastfeeding mother to my beautiful baby girl and I’ll be sharing with you all some personal experiences and covering some other interesting topics, stay tuned.

The post 5 Reasons Why I Won’t Share My Due Date appeared first on Breastfeeding World.

Fun at the park

Hayride fun!

My point is, whether I am out of the house all day, working in the house all day, or glued to the couch, when those little munchkin eyes close for nap time the beaming glorious gates to heaven on earth open.

Ahhhhhhh, yes.

Sleeping Beauty!

Now, a typical nap time for my toddler can last anywhere from 1 to 2.5 hours.

But you never know what you’re going to get. Always, I typically spend the first 10 minutes holding her, admiring her beauty. I also admire the fact that she isn’t screaming, covered in food, shoving a book in my face or tugging my shirt for milk. Sweet child, sound asleep. Oh how I could sit here for this whole nap staring at you…or better yet, join you in this daytime slumber.

This is typically when the excitement really sets in-  I am free. Free to shower alone. Free to eat in peace. Or even free to fold the piling baskets of laundry without a little gremlin unfolding every piece as I go. I could catch up on my full list of unwatched shows on my DVR, or feel free to fall asleep.  Free to go up on the treadmill (right after I dust it off of course). Perhaps I will scroll aimlessly on social media,  free of a sticky little finger in the way…

Free to do anything I want!

The issue I face is: how in the hell do I decide which of these to do?!

I could never do them all in time, I’m lucky to get one or two of my hopefuls in before her little head pops up and is ready to go again. So, what is most important to me? Well I am hungry, and I gotta eat, so there goes 20 minutes. Plus the 10 minutes I wasted staring into her sleeping soul and probably the 10 I spent checking up on messages and news feeds after I put her down. So, there’s 40 minutes. Now I may have 20 more minutes or over another hour.

But if I decide to start a task, it’s most likely a short nap day. Sometimes, more gets accomplished than I ever imagined. Two loads of laundry, a hot shower and a clean kitchen..whatever is on my to do list, done! These days are rare and make me feel like supermom- where’s my cape?

I think to myself, “I can do this everyday! Wait until tomorrow! If I keep this up all week, my house will be perfect and my life will be so organized!”

…and it’s nice while it lasts.

Some days during nap time, I watch a show from my DVR and a lifetime movie in the peace and quiet and feel just as powerful. Other times, I get down and hard on myself when I look at the dishes I didn’t do while she slept, or the laundry I didn’t fold, or the floor still covered in Cheerios.

My point is; freedom of nap time is often overwhelming.

Sometimes you have to choose between yourself or the house.

You won’t always choose the house, and that’s ok. You only get an hour or two a day to yourself. That  precious time when you aren’t lugging around a toddler who is clinging to you leg or attached to your breast. Where you’re not constantly on duty- watching carefully everything that gets picked up, put in the mouth or hidden under the couch. It is time when you’re not witnessing your toddler insisting on feeding herself in  what looks a crime scene. Or changing a diaper, which often feels like wrestling a small alligator.

Two hours, max, to do what you want in peace. Some days you might spend the entire time dreading the moment her little head pops up. You spend so much time thinking about what to do, and before you know it you’ve done nothing. Your chance is gone. Today, I decided to write this blog (while watching last night’s How to Get Away With Murder) and I’m glad I did.

No matter what you do in those 2 hours, do it proudly, because it’s your time and you deserve it.

Do you ever struggle with feeling overwhelmed when your little ones take their nap? Do you feel like supermom when you’ve completed a list of to-do’s in your small window of freedom? Are you able to go guilt free when you decide to catch up on The Voice or The Bachelor in peace?

Be sure to join us in our social media accounts to be up to date with the progress of our project!

And… Don’t forget to share your brelfies using our HT #BreastfeedingWorld 

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Teresa Finocchio

I am a 27 year old first time mom who lives in New Jersey. I had an all natural planned homebirth with the help of water and the self-hypnosis hypnobabies method. I am currently a stay at home breastfeeding mother to my beautiful baby girl and I’ll be sharing with you all some personal experiences and covering some other interesting topics, stay tuned.

The post The Overwhelming Freedom of Nap Time appeared first on Breastfeeding World.

Lesson 1: Make-up isn’t what makes mommy beautiful.

My daughter is nearing six months which means she is starting to soak everything in to the fullest. She wants to watch me do everything I do, grab everything I grab and she is definitely trying to talk to me! Soon she will understand the things I say to her on a different level and is being molded into the little girl she will become.

For the past few weeks I have been getting back into my routine of doing my hair and makeup. Each time I sit my daughter in her Winnie the Pooh seat in the bathroom with me so she is close by. She sits there, never making a sound, but observing. She stares at me the whole time. As I brush a rosy red color to my cheek, line my eye in black, color in my eyebrows, darken and elongate my lashes and transform my hair from frizz to fab, I would find myself turning to her and saying, “Are you watching mommy get pretty?”… It only took a couple times hearing myself say this before I realized if I kept this up she was going to identify beauty with makeup. If I kept saying, “Mommy is getting pretty”, it wouldn’t be long before I would begin hearng, “Mommy, I wanna look pretty too!”.

Watching Mommy!

I want to teach my daughter to know she is beautiful, everyone is. I don’t want her to grow up and think that mommy wasn’t pretty until she did her makeup. In my eyes that is setting her up for eventually feeling like she needs makeup to look beautiful. I want to teach her that true beauty is on the inside and that she is so pretty the way she is; that she is pretty and makeup is just for feeling good and fun, not being pretty! (For now…I know all this will go out the window in 15 years!)

No make-up, beautiful mommy and daughter.

Beautiful love.

Daughters look up to their mothers and wish to be just like them. I have a few things I will need to change in this journey to try to shape her little mind into the beautiful soul I know she will be, and it’s innocent small things like this I will realize along the way. So, from now on, I will not say that I am “getting pretty” when I put makeup on…and soon when I hear her little voice ask me, “Mommy, what are you doing? Why are you putting that on your face?”, I will tell her, “This makes mommy feel good!” I will tell her I feel pretty all the time and that’s what makes me beautiful, my kindness and love as a mother, wife, daughter, sister and friend. I will teach her compassion and she WILL be beautiful – with or without makeup.

Mommy “feeling good”!

As I continue this adventure of watching my daughter grow, I will share with you little lessons that come to me in my everyday life.

We want to hear from you: Share with us some of those little (yet very important) life lessons you plan to teach your little one! Drop us a comment below!

Be sure to join us in our social media accounts to be up to date with the progress of our project!

And… Don’t forget to share your brelfies using our HT #BreastfeedingWorld 

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Teresa Finocchio

I am a 27 year old first time mom who lives in New Jersey. I had an all natural planned homebirth with the help of water and the self-hypnosis hypnobabies method. I am currently a stay at home breastfeeding mother to my beautiful baby girl and I’ll be sharing with you all some personal experiences and covering some other interesting topics, stay tuned.

The post Make-Up Isn’t What Makes Mommy Beautiful; Lesson #1 appeared first on Breastfeeding World.

My fiancé, Albe, taught me differently. He showed me what an amazing birth partner was. I also learned from my research and hypnobabies classes that my perception of childbirth was way off and with the help of my amazing birth partner, we could change what our minds once knew, and truly believe in a comfortable natural birth.

All I really knew about birth was that it looked like it hurt and that it made women loathe their partner at the time

Being a strong, wonderful partner in birth is not all that makes an amazing birth partner. The pregnancy counts too, guys! Albe was so supportive the entire 9 months leading up to the birth. From doing his best to not miss one appointment, supporting my decision to change over to a midwife and plan a homebirth, financially providing for me to give me a relaxing pregnancy and the birth I wanted, to attending every hypnobabies class with me.  Oh, and making sure that our completely unfinished house had a comfortable, finished birthing space and finished living room space for my postpartum stages.

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Housework in my birthing suite!

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Housework in my birthing suite!

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Housework in the living room – my postpartum suite!

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He was the most amazing partner during labor, which I will tell you about in detail in a minute, and also during the first couple weeks postpartum. (They count too, guys! Maybe even the most!) Albe typically worked 7 days a week, minimum 12 hour days. He runs his own construction business so he is a busy man! In the first couple days he did not leave our side. He helped me walk to the bathroom and back, got my food and water (OK – that was mostly our moms but he helped!), changed diapers and bonded with us. After that, he began working 5 days a week, maximum 8 hour days. Oh, and probably stopped home 2-3 times during those days to check in and give kisses! Now, almost 5 months in, he is home for dinner every night (which I now cook!) and off every weekend he can be, showing me that he is not only an amazing birth partner but an amazing life partner.

Daddy diaper doo-ty!

Albe learning “crowning” at hypnobabies class!

Mid-day visit from Daddy!

OK – back to the childbirth part. So, I am going to try to get this out without retelling you my birth story, which I already did. (Click my name at the bottom for my author archive which has links to my home birth stories, Part One & Part Two). When my water broke, we were just falling asleep, Albe helped me out of bed and to the bathroom to clean up. Then he immediately (my contractions, which I call waves, began within 10 minutes) helped me time my pressure waves so I could keep the midwives updated. He got me calmly through the night (water broke 11 PM) and made sure my birth pool was filled by 8 AM. Meanwhile, my midwife came for a check at 6 AM and I was only 1 cm dilated, which I wasn’t told – my choice. He never made me feel like what was happening wasn’t important or that it was going to get way worse, thankfully, he just acted totally normal. As normal as you can when your fiancé is indeed in labor, I suppose!

Once the pool was filling, he helped me into the shower so I could still be in water until the pool was ready. He then got me comfortably in the pool and my midwife came back around 10 AM. I will admit, during those first few hours in the pool, Albe had answered what seemed like 100 phone calls already and had walked in and out of the room a thousand times, and I was definitely worried. Annoyed? I was something, but I decided to let it go each time that damn T-Mobile jingle blasted through his pants. He was just running his business – organizing for the day(s) he was about to miss. Eventually I shouted, “Can’t you at least turn it on vibrate!”. I still ignored it, as I was so deep into my “zone” of hypnosis by now. But I can tell you this…once things progressed and I was using my vocals during waves and really needed him, he left his phone in the other room and did not leave my side.

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Things were really progressing. Frozen towels, fans, water, Gatorade, reheating the birth pool, cooling down the birth pool, food, dilating, back-to-back waves, longer waves, harder waves….I really was in need of his full attention, which I got without a doubt. Holding my hand through many waves, spraying me down with that lifesaving $8 spray bottle fan, holding my water, putting more hot water in my pool, putting ice cubes in my pool, switching my towels, rubbing my back, whispering to me how much he loved me and how great I was doing. Everything counted.

As things progressed I started pushing around 7 PM. I pushed in the pool for an hour or two, with Albe right behind me, giving me my relaxation cues and supporting me. Eventually, it was suggested that I push outside the pool which I was NOT happy about. He helped convince me was a good idea and I should try and that’s when we moved to the ottoman beside the pool. He leaned against the wall and I sat between his legs and leaned against him. This was also not working and I was exhausted. My team decided it best if I lay down on the pull-out bed in the living room and try to sleep between pushes. Albe rubbed my back, my head and did all he could to help me rest.

While I was side lay pushing, he was holding my leg up for me, supporting my weight. After an hour or two of this, my team wanted me to move the bathroom to squat and toilet push. For hours, Albe held me up as I swayed against him, dropping my full weight into his supporting arms with each push. We were both tired, drenched in sweat, and working so hard. We did this facing each other, and my back to him. Eventually, he had to sit on the toilet to support himself while he held me in my squats. He was being so patent with me, as he had now been able to see our daughters head for 3 hours. After this, we moved back to the ottoman where I attempted pushing on all fours. Albe was behind me (YUPP, behind me is right) ready to catch our baby. He was helping guide her head out and telling me how cool this was. This is when I thought to myself, WOW, I cannot believe his face is where it is and he is excited and coaching me to push, telling me when her head is most visible and when it is slipping back in. “Hold it there, keep pushing, she’s coming, you’re doing it!”, are things he would say to me. Counting like a sergeant on a battlefield to help me push longer. I never felt insecure for a second.

My midwife suggested I try standing and giving 3 big pushes, this was going to be it. But if I stood, he needed to hold me and could not catch the baby. “What do you wanna do babe, wanna try standing, you should I am ready to meet our baby”, he says. “I don’t know babe, then you can’t catch, it’s up to you, it’s your moment,” I reply back. It was at this time, 27.5 hours of labor in, 7 hours of pushing and 3.5 of crowning that my heart melted. He had been so great this whole time, I wanted him to be able to catch. He was thinking I had been so great this whole time and it was time to meet our baby and end this long, hard journey. This is when I thought to myself how silly the movies were and how could any woman ever yell at their partner during this spiritual and intimate moment? I did switch positions, I stood up and within minutes we were holding our beautiful baby girl. WE did it.

Albe – Thank you for being the best pregnancy, birth and postpartum partner a girl could dream of. And for all you do for us. I cannot wait to marry you and do it all over again. And maybe again. You helped make it an amazing, beautiful experience and I know I can do anything with you by my side. I love you.

If you have an extra 4 minutes, check out our homebirth video (appropriate for anyone to watch) filled with more pictures and some video from our birthing time and see for yourself the love and strength my amazing birth partner gave me. You may need a tissue….

We would love to hear from you so leave us a comment below! How was your home birth experience? Did you have an amazing birth partner as well?

Be sure to join us in our social media accounts to be up to date with the progress of our project!

And… Don’t forget to share your brelfies using our HT #BreastfeedingWorld 

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Teresa Finocchio

I am a 27 year old first time mom who lives in New Jersey. I had an all natural planned homebirth with the help of water and the self-hypnosis hypnobabies method. I am currently a stay at home breastfeeding mother to my beautiful baby girl and I’ll be sharing with you all some personal experiences and covering some other interesting topics, stay tuned.

The post My Amazing Birth Partner appeared first on Breastfeeding World.

Our first latch <3

One plus to pumping – Daddy got to feed and bond!

My daughter was born at home (planned) and we had immediate skin-to-skin bonding, for over an hour, before baby got her first exam and I got cleaned up. We had all the advantages that apparently lead to successful breastfeeding journeys. In our first hour together, she did latch but only lightly and for a couple of minutes. My midwife told me her stomach was so tiny, and she had probably gotten enough and not to worry. So, I didn’t. By our second night together, I started to realize that maybe she was not latching correctly or eating enough. This was confirmed at her 2 day appointment when her pediatrician referred a bilirubin test and the results showed a slightly jaundiced baby. Talk of supplementing from doctors and family members had me feeling like a failure. My midwife reassured me that she would come help us with our latch and that I do not need to worry, we will get this down. In the meantime, I went to the store and got myself a pump, so baby would be able to get what she needed from the bottle. Pumping would take about an hour – and hurt – to get 2 ounces of colostrum. By the time I pumped, fed her, laid her down and washed the pump parts, it was time to pump again so it would be ready for her next feeding. This was exhausting.

In the next week, my midwife did help us with our latch. But it hurt. It hurt so bad. I would feed her and have to kick my feet, bite my tongue, yell, cry, and have a fan on me because I would sweat from the pain and I would dread every single feeding. Suddenly, the exhaustion of the pumping cycle seemed like a better bet than the excruciating pain from actually breastfeeding. After doing my research, it sounded like I could use some nipple creams to help alleviate the pain, so lanolin it was. I used it, religiously, for about a week. A couple of days into using the lanolin, I began to itch very bad in not so pleasant areas – but most research I did suggested it was part of the healing process (although I did not tear during my birth). About 24 hours after that, it was my entire body. I started seeing a rash on my arms and face. I was so confused! What is this?!

Full body allergic reaction to lanolin

Within 48 hours of the initial itch, my entire body from head to toe was broken out into a complete rash. My lips were swollen and my whole body was itching more than you could imagine. My midwives and I were stumped – I began taking oatmeal baths and brainstorming on what I ate differently or something new I used on my skin recently. I took one Benadryl, knowing it was going to be bad news but couldn’t help it and quickly learned my lesson. I get knocked out when I take Benadryl. Like, don’t try to touch me or wake me for 8 hours at least knocked out. Well, with a hungry newborn and as a breastfeeding momma, that wasn’t going to work. Finally, when I told my midwife everything I have ever been allergic to (poison ivy and wool) her light bulb went off. Lanolin is made of wool!!! In the trash went my tubes of lanolin. Since I was using this so religiously, numerous times a day, on my open cracked nipples, it had been in my bloodstream quite a while. My midwives prescribed me a 2 week steroid and it took about 3 weeks for my rash to fully go away.

In the meantime, I started going to free breastfeeding classes at my local hospital hosted by a lactation consultant. Here I learned about many things, one of them being thrush. It sounded like I had all the symptoms, but my baby showed no signs. My midwives decided to treat me for it anyway, and it did really help. But as fast as things got better, they got worse again just as quick. My rash came and went, my baby’s latch was perfect according to my midwife and lactation consultant at class, the thrush symptoms went away… but breastfeeding still hurt. A LOT. Finally, I decided to contact a lactation consultant that would come to my house, observe how I fed and my positions, offer advice and hopefully fix me. Please, fix me.

Hands down (pun intended) the best invention ever!

Throughout all of this so far, everyday was a constant struggle in my mind to give up or keep going. I could not even hold my baby because my nipples were in such constant pain. I would cry from the pain during feedings, but also in general not even during a feeding. I would cry from the stress and the constant battle in my mind on what to do? If things aren’t better by the end of the week…I must have said that to myself for at least 8 weeks. I had to be constantly topless as my nipples couldn’t even touch a piece of clothing they were so sore. Drying off after a shower was not even possible without cringing. I used nipple shells (I learned about those at the classes as well), which guard your nipples from your clothing. They were a lifesaver and the biggest pain in the butt at the same time. Constantly leaking every time I bent over and in my sleep, pouring out all over everything and wasting my precious milk! I also learned about nipple shields – an artificial nipple to place over your own to help with the pain – but it did nothing to help my pain. If anything, it made it worse! I picked up a hands-free pumping bra from Target and WOW! This was the best day in my breastfeeding journey so far! My 45-60 minute pumping sessions turned into 15 minute sessions (tops) to get the same amount of milk! This was definitely a game changer. I began a new system – pump/bottle-feed, breastfeed, pump/bottle-feed, breastfeed… I kept up with this every-other system for about a month and it really helped allow my nipples to heal.

When my lactation consultant came for a visit, she taught me the football position (which took 5 pillows and a perfect seat on the couch) and the side-laying position which made amazing differences. The football position helped relieve some pain and in the side-laying position at least I was comfortable and in pain, rather than sitting up straight and hurting my back! Anyway, the changing point in our journey was during this visit when the consultant mentioned posterior tongue tie. I had heard of tongue tie, which is pretty easy to see, but I had never heard of posterior tongue tie, which is harder to depict (even some lactation consultants and pediatricians do not recognize posterior tongue ties!). My baby could not lift her tongue to the roof of her mouth or stick it out as far as she should be able to. This was causing her to not be able to get the proper tongue wave/motion she needed to use while nursing. I was recommended to a pediatric dentist who specializes in these frenulum procedures. I was so relieved, so elated, knowing that there was something that could fix all of this. I saw a ray of light, of hope! I even learned of Dr. Jack Newman’s nipple cream that could be made lanolin free and got a prescription for that which did help in the meantime.

I immediately contacted the dentist and of course, with my luck, he was on his first day of a 9 day vacation. However, he told me he would fit me in the day he got back, and he did. We went to our appointment and sure enough, she indeed had a form of tongue tie. Hallelujah! There is a cure! At this point I was past the thought of giving up, I was going to go until 6 months no matter what, but I really hoped I could improve my comfort level. Well, we got the procedure and for 2 weeks had to do tongue stretches on the baby. The doc told me I should feel an improvement within a week but it could take up to 3 weeks, and there were no guarantees this was even going to fix our issues. BUT IT DID! And it took a whole more month! I started really feeling a difference around the 2nd week. You could see how different it looked when she would eat! The range she had with her tongue movements were suddenly impressive! I couldn’t believe I didn’t recognize this earlier. Thank goodness I finally gave up my stubbornness and hired a lactation consultant!

Road-trip breastfeeding!

By month 3, things were really starting to get easy. So easy, I took a 5 day road trip and only brought my boobs! No pumps, no bottles, no shields or shells! (OK, I broght the shield, but like I said, is anything ever really perfect?) The shield does help with pain now (since her tongue tie was fixed), and honestly I still use it for 50% of my feedings on my left breast. For some reason, my left nipple never fully healed and still gives me slight pain here and there. My nipple shells went in the trash and my pump is now used only for babysitting purposes!

The reason I kept going

So, does breastfeeding get easier, does it get better? Yes, but sometimes it takes longer than a couple of weeks. Here I am, with a 4.5 month old, exclusively breastfeeding. Is it perfect? Nope. But it works. And it is comfortable. And it is best for my baby. I still do not know how I made it through the first 2 months, but I am so glad I did! And my new goal is to go until one year…at least!

Check out a past blog where I wrote about 10 Things Never to Say to a Troubled Breastfeeding Momma based off my own experiences!

Be sure to join us in our social media accounts to be up to date with the progress of our project!

And… Don’t forget to share your brelfies using our HT #BreastfeedingWorld 

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Teresa Finocchio

I am a 27 year old first time mom who lives in New Jersey. I had an all natural planned homebirth with the help of water and the self-hypnosis hypnobabies method. I am currently a stay at home breastfeeding mother to my beautiful baby girl and I’ll be sharing with you all some personal experiences and covering some other interesting topics, stay tuned.

The post My Imperfect Breastfeeding Journey appeared first on Breastfeeding World.

Personally, I practiced listening to the birthing affirmations track daily from my hypnobabies class and I also made an affirmation banner of my favorites using construction paper and colored card stock from the craft store.

Here are my favorite affirmations that I used during my birthing time.

“My body was made to do this.”

This is something you need to remember and believe in. It is the truest birth affirmation there is. You are a woman, your body was made to do this. You have everything you need to birth your child naturally. For me, when things got harder than expected, I needed to look up at this and remember how true it was. Fear and nervousness are bound to set in at some point, so when they do, just know, your body WAS made to do this!

“Smile” – You are going to meet your baby soon!

“Focus” & “Love”

“Laugh” – It is the best medicine.

“Relax” & “Breathe”

“Trust” – Trust in your body, surrender to it.

“Don’t hold back; Let Birth Happen.”

Don’t tense up. Relax and surrender to your body. I would look up at this one during my birthing time and realize I was actually giving birth and remember to let it happen, comfortably.

“My baby is almost here!”

This is what kept me going, but as obvious as it may be, you may need a reminder during your birthing time. You are closing in on the end of this 9 month journey. Your time is finally here. So soon – you are going to meet your baby!

“Time has no meaning in this situation.”

Very true. For low-risk pregnancies which lead to natural births, time has no meaning during labor. Your body will go though the stages on its own terms and checking the time will not help you progress. Dilating, stretching, opening…your body is working on its own time. The only “clock” I had was the sun in the window. 28 hours felt like maybe 15. Don’t watch the clock, just take it one minute, one breath, at a time.

“I am a precious woman giving birth to a precious baby.”

I just love this one!

“I am SAFE.”

This is important to remember throughout your birthing time. When things got extra tough for me, my midwife would remind me that I was safe, and that meant the world to me. Know you are safe.

“This is the right way for me to birth my baby.”

Know that whether you are in the hospital, a birthing center or your own home, you made this choice. Be confident. You made an educated and informed birth plan and it is the right one for you.

“It is said women leave their bodies during their birthing times, that they travel to the stars to collect the souls of their babies, and they return to this world together.”

My personal favorite. Maybe this is why labor always seems to be a blur to women. Or how we manage the pain.

“If you have to jump off a cliff, why think about it? Just jump.”

“I relax deeper and deeper with every pressure wave I ride.”

This is a hypnobabies affirmation. In hypnobabies, you train your body to go into a self hypnosis and feel hypno-anesthesia throughout your body. Your relaxation gets deeper and your anesthesia stronger with ever contraction you get through.

“If things start happening, don’t worry, don’t stew… Just go right along an you’ll start happening too!” -Dr. Seuss quotes work well in labor!

“A bird sitting on a tree branch is never afraid of the branch breaking, because her trust is not in the branch but in her own wings.” Believe in yourself, in your own body.

“Birth is Empowering”

“Think how far you have come, not how far you have to go..” This one could not be more true during a long labor! You never know how much longer, but you do know you have done a great job so far and you’re almost there!

“My body is OPEN.”  You must imagine your body opening, ready for baby to come through.

“Bubble of Peace” – This is another hypnobabies affirmation. You create your own bubble where you can go to when you begin to feel uncomfortable. Nothing  can bother you in your bubble. Imagine it.

“My baby feels my strength.” And your fears. Be strong, “relax”.

“Will you succeed? Yes…you will indeed! 98 and 3/4 percent, guaranteed!” – More Dr. Seuss

“She believed she could, so she did!”

“I am not the only one… 300,000 other women are giving birth with me right now.” This one is so surreal. It certainly helped me to know so many other women were feeling the same things I was, all over the world.

“I will praise thee, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made.”

“All discomfort will pass.” Yes, this. Lifesaving reminder!

“Sometimes you will never know the value of a moment until it becomes a memory.” –More Dr. Seuss! This one is powerful. You will soon cherish the moments of your birthing time. All of them.

“I trust my body.”

“My body hears everything my mind says. Stay positive.” Mind over matter!

“Birth is natural.”

Thanks for listening to my favorite birth affirmations! My banner meant so much to me and was a big part of my confidence during my birthing time.

Please share your favorite birth affirmations in the comment section below!

Be sure to join us in our social media accounts to be up to date with the progress of our project!

And… Don’t forget to share your brelfies using our HT #BreastfeedingWorld 

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Teresa Finocchio

I am a 27 year old first time mom who lives in New Jersey. I had an all natural planned homebirth with the help of water and the self-hypnosis hypnobabies method. I am currently a stay at home breastfeeding mother to my beautiful baby girl and I’ll be sharing with you all some personal experiences and covering some other interesting topics, stay tuned.

The post The Power of Birth Affirmations appeared first on Breastfeeding World.

But, let’s be real…many breastfeeding journeys do not start out even close to any of those things.

The first three months of my troubled breastfeeding journey were extremely hard. From a bad latch and jaundice to a full body allergic reaction, to thrush and mastitis, to sore, cracked nipples and posterior tongue tie! We saw it all.

And we made it.

Is your wife, friend, daughter/daughter-in-law, sister, etc., struggling with breastfeeding? She will definitely need your support – but here are 10 things NOT to say to her.

1. “Breastfeeding shouldn’t hurt.”

Dealing with the pain of breastfeeding is both emotionally and physically difficult. We know that it should not hurt. We sometimes feel like our bodies are letting us down or that we are letting our babies down. We understand when it hurts, something is not right. We do not need to be reminded constantly that our bodies are wrong, because they are not. Breastfeeding CAN hurt. It hurts many women for many different reasons. So, what you can say instead of “breastfeeding shouldn’t hurt” is, “I am sorry you are having such pain breastfeeding – there has got to be a reason, let’s contact a lactation consultant and get to the bottom of this so you can start feeling better!”

2. “I think maybe your nipples are too big.”

Or too small. Just stay away from commenting on mom’s nipple size, please. We are already emotionally a wreck as we are trying to perfect this special bond and we do not need to feel as if our bodies are physically wrong. No nipple of any size will stop a baby from breastfeeding! If the mother thinks her nipples are the wrong size, she can check with her pediatrician or OB about this being the problem. We are not as comfortable as we look with being constantly topless around our daily visitors in the beginning, so don’t make this any worse than it is for us! If you see a troubled mom and think the nipple is the problem what you can say instead of commenting on the size or shape of mom’s nipple is, “I believe they sell something called a nipple shield that helps the baby latch well – would you like me to run out and get you one?”

3. “What have you eaten lately? Maybe the baby doesn’t like the taste?”

Most of us breastfeeding moms are educated and informed on what to eat and not to eat while breastfeeding. Telling us our babies may not like the taste of the milk we have produced is asinine! If you are worried we are eating improperly, buy us a book on healthy eating while nursing, but please do not shame the taste of our milk. That is most likely NOT the problem baby is having and our bodies have worked very hard to produce this milk! So instead, as said, buy us a nice healthy eating or recipe book for nursing moms, or better yet – cook us a healthy meal, quietly!

4. “I think your babies mouth is too small.”

Ugh, again with the size and shapes but this time of our babies! No, just do not! Do not tell us that our perfect little angel may have the wrong size mouth to breastfeed. If you are not educated on this matter – refrain from commenting on this altogether, but what you could say instead is, “Some babies have tongue tie or posterior tongue tie, which doesn’t allow their tongue to move as freely as it should while feeding. Have you asked your pediatrician to check for this or contacted a lactation consultant?”

5. “If you think it hurts now, wait ’til they get some teeth!”

NEVER! We as troubled nursers are already terrified that it will never get better, like they all say it does. Most of us may even be crying everyday and constantly on the verge of giving up. So please, do not discourage us further. If you have breastfed before and you know it gets better (because it really does!) you can tell us that for encouragement.

6. “Maybe you are not producing enough milk..”

Again, most of us are educated and informed on milk production. Our pediatricians, OB’s and lactation consultants can discuss this with us. This was one problem that I, fortunately, never had, but I did meet many moms while attending support groups who dealt with this. It is another issue that makes us feel our bodies are failing our babies, that we do not need you commenting on. If you are educated enough on the topic, what you can say is, “There are many recipes that are supposed to boost milk supply, let me bake you some lactation cookies and we will see if this helps! In the meantime, let’s call a lactation consultant and get some more ideas!”

7. “Your nipples just need to toughen up.”

This is just wrong. This suggests the mom should just wait it out and also sounds like we are going to have super hard and rough nipples which is not enthusing to us! There is most likely a problem that needs solving if there is nipple pain, and needing to “toughen up” is not it.

8. “Let me cover you up.”

Everything about nursing is uncomfortable right now. We need to watch our baby eat to try to find and fix the issue. We need to be comfortable especially in our own home and bond with our babies as much as we can while biting our tongue through the discomfort. If we are in our home, and you are a visitor, instead of saying this, you could say, “I will let you two be while you nurse…I will be in the other room, doing the dishes or folding your laundry, just holler if you want a blanket or a glass of water!”

9. “Why don’t you just pump instead?”

Genius! Because we NEVER would have thought of that! Of course we pump and for many reasons… build supply, more comfortable on nipples, baby needs milk NOW and isn’t latching… and many more. For me, it was a LIFESAVER. However, we still need to breastfeed in order for our babies (and ourselves) to properly learn. Also, our babies are way more effective in retrieving milk from our nipples then our pumps are. Oh and not to mention, if baby feeds every two hours, as most babies do in the beginning, you will have zero time to relax. I had to exclusively pump for days, sometimes a week in order to heal my nipples. My timeline went like this: Pump milk for a half hour (at least), transfer to bottle & feed baby (another half hour), burp baby and get baby to lay down, wash all pump parts and setup for next time to pump – Oh wait, it is time to pump again, already! Pumping, feeding, washing…it becomes a vicious cycle! So, instead of telling us to “just pump” you can kindly say, “I will wash and sanitize your breast pump parts in case you want a break later, they will be ready for you to use!” (Many new moms don’t know this, but, there are ways to rinse your pump parts and refrigerate them after use to save time)

10. Lastly, never, ever ask us, “Why don’t you just give your baby formula?”

Trust me, as someone who was on the verge of giving up on breastfeeding everyday for two and a half months, this is something we do not want to hear. We know that formula is out there and that it exists. We know many babies are formula fed and are just fine. We know many mothers who formula feed and we do not judge. But we want to breastfeed. We are determined and we are trying to stay encouraged. Personally, I had a free sample box of formula just 10 feet away in my cupboards the whole time, but never got to the point of using it. If and when we decide that we cannot handle the pain or troubles of breastfeeding any longer, we know where to find formula. Most of us who are in a constant battle of wondering how much longer we can go are already weighing the options of trying it. We know it is an option, we just are not ready to give up on our bodies. So, please do not even entertain the thought of formula to us, as we will make that choice on our own terms.

Did you have a rough start to breastfeeding? What were some of the things people said to you that got under your skin? Let us know!

If you are a beginner breastfeeding momma and battling with infections, bad latches, sore and cracked nipples, PPD, or anything bothering you, please reach out. Lactation consultants are amazing people, and a local breastfeeding support group will really open your eyes to how many women are dealing with the exact same issues as you.

And I promise, although I know it is very hard for you to believe at this time, it DOES get better.

Be sure to join us in our social media accounts to be up to date with the progress of our project!

And… Don’t forget to share your brelfies using our HT #BreastfeedingWorld

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Teresa Finocchio

I am a 27 year old first time mom who lives in New Jersey. I had an all natural planned homebirth with the help of water and the self-hypnosis hypnobabies method. I am currently a stay at home breastfeeding mother to my beautiful baby girl and I’ll be sharing with you all some personal experiences and covering some other interesting topics, stay tuned.

The post 10 things to NEVER say to a troubled breastfeeding momma! appeared first on Breastfeeding World.

Scrolling, commenting, liking and sharing has become a normal part of everyday life. I will admit that numerous times during the day I found myself scrolling through my social media news feeds, hypnotized by the drama, videos, pictures and gossip. Before I know it, an hour or more has gone by and dinner wasn’t started, the dishes weren’t done, I hadn’t vacuumed…etc. So this week, I took the plunge. I deleted my Facebook app from my phone. I now only allow myself to go on Facebook on my laptop during my baby’s naptime or late at night. It’s been 48 hours and I have been more productive in these 2 days than I was all last week. I realized I do not want my baby to grow up seeing Mommy always staring at her phone. And I don’t want to miss my baby growing up because I am constantly on my phone. I am not here to convince you to do the same, but I would like to tell you why I think you should never be on your cell phone at least while breastfeeding.

Most importantly, it is not healthy for your baby. I am not a doctor nor a scientist but I believe from what I have researched that cell phones should not be near baby. It is advised to not sleep with our phones near our heads for many reasons, the main one being radio waves. With that in mind, our skulls are fully developed and very thick, whereas baby’s skulls are very, very thin at such a vulnerable age. It is advised to not use your cell phone while holding your infant for this reason. I set this rule for myself the minute I researched it, no cell phones near or while holding baby and as the parents, my fiancé and I have set this rule for all of our friends an family as well. I have even limited the amount of up-close pictures I take of baby (or set my phone to airplane mode to stop the radio waves if I want to have a photo shoot!). With that being said, let me tell you the other reasons I do not use my cell phone while breastfeeding, and neither should you.

Breastfeeding is a bonding experience for you and baby

It is a time to stare into your baby’s eyes, to watch your baby get nourishment that you are providing, and to fall in love all over again, every time your baby feeds. There is nothing cuter, sweeter or more heartwarming anywhere on your newsfeed than what is in your arms, I promise.

Social media is not going anywhere… that cat video, celebrity gossip, sports debate status string, picture of your cousin’s girlfriends dog or your sister’s friends brother’s dinner, the comments on your most recent picture or status….those will all be there when you lay your baby down. But those wide open eyes that are staring up at you, or sweet fluttering sleepy eyes…that tiny little hand resting on your bosom or holding the neckline of your shirt so tightly…that eyebrow raise you see when your baby gets his/her first gulp of milk during your let down, or that ridiculously cute purse of the lips when baby pulls off…those things only last for a moment.

Your baby deserves your full attention

Just like the cashier at the grocery store or the friend you go out to dinner with, your baby deserves your full attention. Have you ever tried to have a conversation or spend quality time with someone who constantly is looking on their phone? It is annoying, isn’t it? Your baby, of all people, deserves your full attention. He/She deserves to be held tightly, with both hands, to feel safe and comfortable while feeding. Your baby deserves to feel like they are your whole world. Some days, I will sit and hold my baby for hours after a feeding, just staring back at those beautiful eyes that stare at me, studying my face, in awe, or watching those sweet little smiles that happen while she sleeps in my arms after a feeding. Just like I used to sometimes spend hours staring at my phone.

The hours spent on social media, when you think about it, honestly, is time wasted. But those hours staring at your baby, no matter how much laundry is piled up or how many dishes are in the sink or dust on the windowsills, those hours will be cherished forever. You are creating memories of closeness and bonding…and it is truly, guilt-free relaxation.

So I encourage you to take the plunge. To normalize breastfeeding, not breast-news-feeding. To gently caress your baby’s hair or rub their oh-so-soft skin instead of scrolling your social media account. To let your baby grip your finger so tight and hold on as long as they want instead of using it to hit the like button. Pick your baby up and put your phone down. One day, when your child is sitting at the table, throwing food on the floor and crying because they don’t like broccoli, you’re going to want to go back in time to these precious breastfeeding moments. So make sure you “soak it all in” and “cherish every moment“, because they grow up so fast.

Are you guilty of breast-news-feeding? Has my blog made you think twice about using your cell phone while breastfeeding? If you already have a no cell phone rule for feeding, do you have more reasons to add? Give me you thoughts!

Do your research on cell phones and tablets near babies and toddlers so you can be aware of the effects they can have on our children. The bone marrow of a child’s head absorbs 10 times more radiation than an adult, while those of infants and toddlers will absorb even more. Educate your loved ones on cell phone and tablet safety today.

All breastfeeding pictures taken for this blog were taken on “airplane mode” or by my fiancé. Keep taking those #brelfies but switch to airplane mode!

Be sure to join us in our social media accounts to be up to date with the progress of our project!

And… Don’t forget to share your brelfies using our HT #BreastfeedingWorld 

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Teresa Finocchio

I am a 27 year old first time mom who lives in New Jersey. I had an all natural planned homebirth with the help of water and the self-hypnosis hypnobabies method. I am currently a stay at home breastfeeding mother to my beautiful baby girl and I’ll be sharing with you all some personal experiences and covering some other interesting topics, stay tuned.

The post Normalize Breastfeeding, Not Breast-news-feeding! appeared first on Breastfeeding World.

Yes, actually I have THREE amazing midwives. I say have because my midwives were not just someone there to deliver my baby, they are lifelong friends. They were my teachers, therapists and support group throughout my pregnancy. They were my caretakers, cheerleaders and masseuses during my labor. And now, they are an encyclopedia of answers to my endless questions and they are my friends. Heather, Pam and Yuliya – I am so blessed to have found you and to have experienced your kind of care! This blog goes out to you!

A Thank You to my Midwives!

From the first time I went in for my consultation with Heather I felt at home in their office. Before trying to sell me on their practice, before explaining anything, she asked me in her insanely calming voice, “How do you feel?”. I could tell in her tone she did not mean physically; she wanted to know my fears, what excited me and what made me nervous. Sitting on their couch with my fiancé while listening to her describe what they do and how they do it had me so confident in this path I was choosing for my birth. As we walked out of our consultation and back to the car I told my fiancé how just her voice alone settled every fear I had and how awesome it would be to have her calming aura at my birth.

Heather at my birth

Heather fanning me through a wave

A couple visits later is when I met Pam. Another beautiful women with such a soft, soothing voice. Something about the way these ladies spoke was like tranquility to me. Pam has been a midwife for many years now and for every question I could ask, she had two stories to incorporate in her answer. Her experience and knowledge was so impressive and I loved hearing the stories of other women she had shared this moment with. I would be so lucky to have her at my birth.

Pam at a midwifery convention

Somewhere in my first couple visits is also when I met Yuliya. She was their student midwife at the time (she graduated and became a CNM very shortly after my birth!). She began taking over my appointments and was seriously just the cutest thing! Sweet and smart, I was so ecstatic to hear that whether Heather or Pam came to my birth, Yuliya would be there no matter what!

Tired and dedicated Yuliya filling out baby chart at 4AM!

Yuliya and my fiancé helping me through pushing

For the first 20 weeks of  my pregnancy I was just a name on chart at my OBGYN. I sat in a cold room in a hospital gown and waited a good 20-30 minutes for a different doctor every time to ask me the same 20 questions on his/her chart. Without making eye contact, without asking me how I really felt, without making me feel like this was an important day or visit, they would check off their boxes and send me on my way. I would leave feeling confused and uncertain about my whole pregnancy. 

Each visit with my midwives I would get to the office and first I would see Linda at the desk. Linda would welcome me with a big smile and tell me how great I looked every time. I never waited too long for Heather or Pam to walk out of the room to greet me, but while I did wait, I sat on a comfy sofa and chatted with Linda about my pregnancy milestones and she would keep me entertained with stories about the births they had been to lately. She always made me feel like I was at home, an important guest…a friend.

Once I got into the cozy and welcoming visit room with Heather or Pam, and Yuliya who was there every time, we would talk. We would just talk. For 10 minutes or for an hour, we would talk about what is happening to my body at whatever stage I was at, we would talk about how I felt physically and how I felt emotionally. We would talk about how my fiancé, my mother and my support system felt emotionally. They would share stories about other births, they would tell me I was healthy and normal. They would encourage me to laugh, to cry and to ask questions I would never feel comfortable to ask my OBGYN. I would tell them my fears and my concerns. They would educate me, comfort me and inspire me.

Once our chat was over, they would check my baby’s heartbeat and my blood pressure and then measure and feel my belly. Then they would reassure me how healthy I am and how well I am doing at growing my baby. They really made me feel like I was an important part of their day, that they were excited about my pregnancy and birth, and that they genuinely cared about me and my baby…and that’s because they did.

National Midwifery Week

The National Midwifery Week was created by the American College of Nurse and Midwives to celebrate and recognize midwife-led care all around the country. Midwives are passionate people with extra large hearts. They are people that have their own families, babies, problems, fears and lives but they make you feel like you are all that matters when you are around them. They give you their all, every time. Each baby they help bring into this world, each mother they get to know, each birth partner they come across, they make another space in their hearts for.

Heather, Pam, Yuliya and Linda – Thank you for being such amazing women and guiding me through this journey. For always making me feel like I belonged and that I was important, making me feel like a guest rather than a patient and for all that you do. Thank you for answering my calls and my texts 24 hours a day and for doing so with happiness. You have truly touched my heart.

Heather and Yuilya – Thank you for being my rocks. For being my walls to lean on, my shoulders to cry on, my cheerleaders, my fanners, my feeders and my water holders, my masseuses, my doctors and my confidence. I am forever indebted to you for all you did that day. You safely got me through some of the roughest hours of my life and kept me calm with your gentle care and affirming words. I never once felt worried or scared throughout my entire labor. You are both wonderful at what you do.

To all of you, and to midwives everywhere, Happy National Midwives Week!!

Missed my birth story? Here it is: Part 1 and Part 2.

Don’t forget to thank your midwives this week and let us know your midwifery experiences!

Be sure to join us in our social media accounts to be up to date with the progress of our project!

And… Don’t forget to share your brelfies using our HT #BreastfeedingWorld 

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Teresa Finocchio

I am a 27 year old first time mom who lives in New Jersey. I had an all natural planned homebirth with the help of water and the self-hypnosis hypnobabies method. I am currently a stay at home breastfeeding mother to my beautiful baby girl and I’ll be sharing with you all some personal experiences and covering some other interesting topics, stay tuned.

The post Happy National Midwives Week appeared first on Breastfeeding World.

I began working at a small business, a fine dining restaurant, as a server in 2007. The place was owned by a husband (the Chef) and wife and they quickly took a liking to me, as they did most of their employees. The place only had about 12 employees total (kitchen and service included) so it was very much like a little family. Making friends is always easy in the restaurant business but making friends with your bosses, that’s not as common. After-shift drinks, house parties, birthdays and holidays together…it was a great relationship.

After two years of working for this restaurant, they decided to open a new place of business, a marketplace where customers could buy fresh homemade items, order catering and sit down for lunch. Only three of the current restaurant employees were chosen to help them open and then work at both sites. I was one of those employees. Shortly following, the owners decided to shut down their fine dining place and focus on the marketplace and catering only. They laid off all but three employees; Myself, another server/market employee and their main cook. As a team, we all built and expanded this catering business. I was proud to work for this company and soon became the marketplace and catering manager. As the business grew and the owners had their first child, I became the secretary and wedding coordinator on top of managing the store and the catering jobs that I also served and bartended.

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At this point, I had co-worked with the same boss everyday from the age of 19 to 27. Family events, birthdays, holidays…all were spent together. My life during those ages, as most people’s are, was incredibly hard with college, a sick father, divorcing parents, a cheating boyfriend and eventually the loss of my father. I will say that he worked very well with me through all these things, so, after 2 years of a new healthy relationship and a baby on the way, the first thing I thought about my boss, was how well he was going to support me through this next chapter. Nope, wrong.

Just days before I told him the news, he was telling me all the new opportunities he had for me in the business (he was moving into a local country club). The same day I sat him down to tell him the news (by the way, I told him when I was less than 6 weeks pregnant!), he called in an old employee to come in for a meeting to come back to work. Red flag? Within the next two weeks things drastically changed. I was getting yelled at for things I had never been yelled at before, I was suddenly not the one he wanted to speak to about future events or even that day’s To Do list. He began writing the schedule (which I had been doing for 3 years now and he had never done) instead of me, he stopped scheduling me for events because I “couldn’t lift things”, and all around just started treating me like dirt. I was no longer answering emails which I did thirty times a day for years, no longer taking orders for people on the phone, which was my main job as catering manager. At one point I sat down with him and he said to me “I cannot have you forgetting things here (and this was not after I forgot something). You’re going to be stupid, just like [my wife] was. But it’s not your fault”, he said, “all the blood is going to your uterus and not your brain…this just happens to pregnant people”. Whaaaaat? OK, I will admit I further learned pregnancy brain is real but c’mon!

I was also told that I “could not bartend if I was showing” and when I asked if I was still able to coordinate the weddings in spring (I would have been 5-6 months pregnant) I got the response, “I don’t know I haven’t thought that far ahead”. (He created that position for me). He told me, “Just go have the baby, (like I was 9 months pregnant, not 1) take your time and when you’re ready to come back we will see where you fit in here.” That is when I knew, in his mind, I was done working there. See where I fit in? I knew it was time to go, I was being pushed out of my job. I had no responsibilities left, no future events, nothing. I basically went from getting a promotion to a huge demotion. He was just waiting for me to quit. (I also only lost my father two months before getting pregnant so this was hitting even harder than normal.)

As I was being treated like dirt everyday, I would go home and cry to my fiancé. I cried every time I left that place. I cried because of the way I was being treated, because of my boss’s comments and because I knew this job was coming to an end. This job I put so much effort and loyalty into for nearly 8 years and this is how it’s going down. My fiancé kept telling me to quit, that I didn’t need to work and I especially didn’t need this stress. So, I did it. I eventualy told him I would like to phase out through the holidays (Nov/Dec) and I would help train someone else in my position, then I was done. His response, “You don’t have to work through the holidays, just finish out the week.” Clearly, he was prepared and waiting for me to say these words. How I didn’t lose my cool and leave right then is beyond me.

My next shift, I went in only to get sent home in the middle. I apparently gave him an attitude (now if you know the restaurant business, attitude is our language…and if you knew me and him, well we fought like a married couple all the time!) and in front of my fellow co-workers and customers I was told to “Go home. Leave your key on the desk.” That is it. That is how he wanted to end this employment, friendship? I gathered all my things and left. I have not heard from him since (or his wife) but if he were to read this blog I would like to tell him that I learned a lot in those years, I made memories and friends, I thoroughly enjoyed my pregnancy and I am doing well, I have a beautiful baby daughter who I LOVE being a stay at home mom to (thanks!), and most of all, I would really like to tell him to, “Bacio mi culo“.

Have you ever been fired or demoted due to pregnancy? Tell us your story and how you overcame such a degrading experience!

We’d love to hear from you! How has postpartum depression or anxiety affected your breastfeeding relationship?

Be sure to join us in our social media accounts to be up to date with the progress of our project!

And… Don’t forget to share your brelfies using our HT #BreastfeedingWorld

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Teresa Finocchio

I am a 27 year old first time mom who lives in New Jersey. I had an all natural planned homebirth with the help of water and the self-hypnosis hypnobabies method. I am currently a stay at home breastfeeding mother to my beautiful baby girl and I’ll be sharing with you all some personal experiences and covering some other interesting topics, stay tuned.

The post Demoted Due To Pregnancy: “You’re Going To Be Stupid” appeared first on Breastfeeding World.