So I am a breastfeeding mother. A normalize breastfeeding, breast is best, shout it from the rooftops, obsessed with boobs and babies breastfeeder.

In my head.

So why is it that I suddenly lose that bravado when I encounter a mommy friend who bottle feeds?

Why is it that my friend who bottle feeds feels like she needs to explain to me why she chose to bottle feed her child?

The Pot Calling the Kettle Black…

Here’s my perspective: breastfeeding is hard. And amazing. Particularly those first few precious months. You’ve all at once never felt more powerful, more connected, more filled with love. You also have never felt more exhausted, more uncomfortable in your body, more spread thin.

There is such a sense of pride that comes with knowing that you, and only you, are able to provide to your baby the sustenance it needs to grow and thrive. And boy! Are we proud of it, we tell the world: “Breast milk is amazing! Look how healthy and well fed my baby is, look at what breast milk can do!”

There are plenty of Reasons Families bottle feed their babies formula.

Good reasons. Perhaps they chose formula because of influence from other family members. Possibly they have a history of sexual abuse. Perhaps they tried to breastfeed and for whatever reason, weren’t successful. Or maybe they just want to feed their baby formula.

Every parent wants to give their child the best. So I think what happens, is that in our breast is best glory, moms who formula feed suddenly stand up and say “what about us? Aren’t we doing the best for our babies too?” And accuse breastfeeding moms of mom shaming. But breast IS best, we proclaim! And thus the mommy wars begin.

The truth is, many parents feel the way they raise their children is THE best, and anything else is damaging or wrong.

Breast vs bottle, wearers vs stroller, attachment vs cio, Montessori vs traditional, cloth vs sposie, helicopter vs free range… It goes on and on.

We are all parents trying to do the best we can for ourselves and our kids. It’s our differences that make us unique, that make our kids special. As long as we are making better people for a better world, doing our best, who is anyone else to judge? There are days we are lucky to make it through by the skin of our teeth and days that we feel like super mom (or dad). We are all just doing our best.

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Leave us some comments below telling us your thoughts on the so-called “mommy wars”! What are some ways you have felt pressured or at odds for your parenting decisions?

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Lauren Lewis

Lauren Lewis is no stranger to childcare development, having spent over 10 years as a nanny or family childcare provider. She’s the wife of a travel geek, mother of two vivacious children, and has an amazing talent for trailing lost things behind her a la Hansel and Gretel. Her passion for lifting up women and advocating for children pours out in her work as a Central Indiana Event Coordinator, Writer, and Social Media Relations Director for Breastfeeding World. Her life is full of busy, crazy and LOUD. It is full of love and hope, ups and downs. And coffee, always lots of coffee- but she wouldn’t have it any other way.